time adds fluff to memory(:

i've been feeling kinda strange lately. mood swings are extremely frequent. and, its not PMS cause mine just passed.

for starters, i used to love chocolate! i can eat 2 bars per day. i can have chocolate everyday! have them as meals. no prob. but now?! try to eat one block from a bar of chocolate will result in the rise of the pukey feeling.

then, i eat more than usual now. but the thing is, i eat less per meal. but the number of meals i have per day increases. horrors. i can get fat this way! and, i know to many i am considered to be skinny. and being abit more fat or chubbier wont hurt me as many of you like to say. but to me, i think i like my size and my weight (fluctuating between 42-44kg) the way it is. anything other than that is considered fat to me. believe it or not. i m the "chubbier" one among my siblings! therefore, i have to adjust my meal to that of before. sigh.

on to mood swings. my goodness. they change so fast that i dont even have time to react to it. its like i m not me. i have no control over what i do or feel. for example, when i feel piss, i will just react. yes, i will have a 'black' face, i will be mean and sarcastic. thats not me! i normally will think through, calm myself down before reacting. i dont like the me now.

just now, while sms-ing ber ingrid and huazy about PW meeting tml. i got so impatient. cause sms just is not fast enough. and peihua was asking me "(meet) for what? i anything". i just got this impatient feeling. i got abit pissed. so i asked everyone to come online. then we discussed. after that was quite okie. but the way i talked to ingrid was horrible. i was mean. i was rude. sorry guys. and when they start talking about food, i just wanted to quit. sigh.

i dont know myself anymore. i dont like the new me. i am worried bout OP. i m sick of my mood swings. i need a break. i need to breathe. it aint helping with the new coffee shop 8 floors down. it keep blowing those "coffee shop" smell up and now my room reek of it. urgh

@ 9:24 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

The Road to Happiness
Question: What do most happy people have in common?

They have overcome serious set-backs.

Happy people sometimes go broke,
get sick, get sacked – or get dumped!
Like everyone, happy people have their problems.

But they have the mental strength to focus on solutions.

Mental fitness is like physical fitness.

You strengthen your MUSCLES with exercise.
You run uphill.
Gradually you get stronger.

It is the same with your thinking.
You strengthen your MIND by facing problems.

Struggle builds strength.
You don't get strong by hiding under the bed.
You meet life head on.
You take some risks.
You fail and bounce back.

Day by day you gain confidence.
Gradually you build a positive attitude.

IN A NUTSHELL
It is not necessarily an easy life that makes you happy.
Usually it's the opposite!

When life gets rough, remind yourself:
"This is making me mentally fit …
I must be getting closer to happiness!"

-Andrew Matthews

@ 1:56 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

*sigh* actually wanted to go watch this! but when i found somebody to go with me all the cheap tickets gone! haha. *sigh*

@ 9:44 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

okie, i m not gonna to delete my other entry. but guys, dun think/read too much into it. i always think too much into things, get pissed, grumble then i m okay le. serious. it wun come up again

lets jiayou for OP!

@ 4:25 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i feel better already. maybe i will regret or feel stupid about what i just wrote later. but this is my blog. so i dun care. dun like my attitude u can always click the small cross at the top right hand corner.

i m not always miss sunshine or angelic. i have my attitude too. welcome to my life. i think ber saw the entry while i was typing. well, its my opinion okie?! thats how i feel and i dun deny it. sorry.

shoo. i hate myself for these. always getting soffy after i scold. ha. but thats how i work. and sometimes, i even forget about what i m angry about after a few minutes.

@ 11:02 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

asshole-ric com. so super slow. and i will definitely appreciate if the people sitting behind me will not read my blog as i am typing. its super rude. (<---just in case)..-_-"

pissed. of course i am pissed. wouldnt you if you are placed in my position. thanks a lot yah! the thing about my pw group is that even though i m glad that we are actually quite united as compared to other groups, but sometimes, they just freakingly dieregard about the opinion of others. as long as 2 people say yes and 1 person say anything, we go ahead with the decison. what a bloody democratic huh.

well, i have enugh of this yah?! first, was on msn. they were trying to rephrase something. then, i keep asking them what they are trying to do. well, they just fuckingly ignored me until like 5-10 mins later?! well, thats very good. dun i feel so included. ha. and sometimes, when we are trying to do something, i give a suggestion. then they say, " yah, i dun think its good yah?" den, i can live with that. cause opinions differ. but you know what? they sometimes will eventually do what i am saying in the beginning. well, thank you very much.

then, there was just now. the Q and A session for our OP. well, mr nandwani asked who wanted to be the first group well, i said no. but then, they just went anyway. of course it didnt matter to them! i m the first one to be attacked. and i m not prepared. and i have no idea what or how a Q and A session go in a OP. well, then when he asked the question, i sucked. i appear to have no confidence and incompetent. ha. well, thank you very much. i so suay-ly have to get those qns that they say can easily crapped de. and they didnt bother to elaborate. and happily the question nandwani asked them we have either a) gone thrugh that briefly while preparing the slides or b) asked the PS surgeons during our interview. if i was asked with those qns, i think i will or at least be more confident. cause, i actually know the answer. DRQ is not exactly what i m best in ya?! i failed econs for fucking sake.

*sigh* maybe i m the unreasonable or just flaunting my "xiaojie" temper again. maybe i m the one in the wrong. but u know what? i m just so tired of everything. i just discovered i have make up lectures during the hols. what joy. well, i better pay attention to what they are doing to our OP presentation le. *sigh* shouldnt have shown my "black" face just now. even nandwani can see that i m pissed. thats nice huh? well, i dun give a fucking care. or do i?

@ 10:56 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

joy. thanks to ber i have actually found a book to indulge in. haha. i think i am going to stay up for the next night or two to finish up the book. so if you are bored in the middle of the night, feel free to sms me! *grins* glad to actually find someone who actually is obsess with books and magazines like me! whee! must borrow more books from ber. haha.

anyway, the book is amazing. makes me think about relationship. anyway, before i get to that, i actually know the ending when the Harry character appear. muahah..she will be with him in the end right?! (but is it the some guy?!) haha. knew it. and when i flipped to the last page, i saw it! URGH! that just increase my urge to hurry up and finish the book so as to find out what happen in between!! haha.

the first part of the book is actually about how the main character actually keep denying that her husband are having affairs. notice the s. haha. then it got me thinking. i mean if i m the character, i think i will probably be like her if anything like that should happen to me. deny the fact. you know, despite the many "criteria" i keep listing and emphasising that my future boyfriend/husband must have, i dont think my actual boyfriend will have those criteria. cause people always end up liking the total opposite of what they wanted. haha. aiya..i actually have a lot of thought while reading the book, now all gone. urgh. but anyway, be back later when i have the inspiration. hai

ber, i hope your best friend is okie.

@ 7:53 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

@ 1:48 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

huishan is getting boring. haha. all i can talk about and think about nowadays is PW..sian-sation..actually found two blogskins that i kinda liked. and i downloaded them in the hope that i can actually put them up when i m free. but, ha. nope. hai. OP OP and more OP! congratulation, a celebration..haha..nowadays only go home at 7+..haha. luckily my Pw mates are all very nice! haha..we all agreed to have a break on friday, saturday and sunday. i could kiss them. haha.

@ 1:33 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

You are like the snow fairy, she is very beautiful,
she has the power to make things beautiful, but
She is sometimes quite selfish, and spends most
of the time she should be using her magic
staring at her self in the mirror. Other than
the fact that she is vain and selfish. She is
a nice person, when she IS actually using her
magic, her powers are great, and she is very
helpful. Well that's most of the tings about
the snow fairy, can you relate to some of them?
You probably can, because that is what this
quiz is for!

**The ultimate Fairy quiz**(anime pics!) for girls, but if you are a guy you can take it too! !**being improved more**!
brought to you by Quizilla

@ 1:46 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

my life is fucked up. i woke up today not knowing what day it is. i have to review what event happened a few days before then i remembered it was sunday. then i felt happy. cause sunday, i dont have to study and theres no pw to come and bug me. but as quickly as the feeling came, it was gone. quickly, it was replaced with a feeling of dread, annoyance and stress. becuase, sunday means i have to go back to school tomorrow where pw is(<--dread). sunday because my OP is not done yet and judging from the past two pw meeting, somehow, i feel that i am there physically but i was not there, i feel like i m 'watching' my grp members working, i wanted to help, but then, somehow, i cant bring myself to it. i feel helpless and useless(<--annoyance). because i am afraid that my pw op wont be as good as we anticipated, that i will screw everything up for ingrid peihua and bernice.(<--stress).

but, anyway, i woke up. and then went to the toilet. the toilet was in a mess. the toilet seat was in a mess, the baisin filled with shampoo bottles, and the toilet bowl is filled with murky water and it stink of oil from the newly opened coffe shop 8 floors down. i got even more despressed. i cleaned up the toilet and went out and stare. after that, i was telling my bro how dirty and stinky the toilet was then he got all defensive. he thought i was accusing him because he used the toilet in the morning and he normally dun use the toilet inside. then he started saying i m the outcast of the family, that i m a clean freak, that i m a bitch. i didnt really retailiate. i just said whatever and told him, i m amazed by his vocab cause he always scold me those when we fight. then he said there i go again boasting about my english cause i passed my last two gp assignement and my promo gp. i was surprisingly calm. i just said whatever. then went to brush my teeth. he began screaming and told my mum who was dwnstairs. so i said, "oh, go ahead and tell mummy everytime we fight." then he started slamming the chair and crying. then he came over and hit me. of course i hit back. then i asked him to keep quiet and actually sticked to what he meant about wanting to stop the fight. then he just keep glaring at me while i washed my face. seriously, i dun give a damn.

this, make me feel like running away more. i want to run away from everything. from school. from my worries. from pressure. i just want to be who i wanna be. from my friends. from my family. from myself. i just want to sleep and never wake up to this cruel place again. my life is fucked up.

maybe, the bottom line is i wish someone will worry about all this for me. take care of me and pamper me for once. i m sick of being independent. and i wish this someone wun be a girl because girls normally feel weird or become super sensitive. i wish it was a guy. who understand that i have my down. after everything, just treat me like normal. i wish i had someone who understand me better than i understand myself. in such a way that wun let me feel like running away.

@ 4:33 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Your Icon is "My heart is Broken." Are
you mourning over a lost love? Are friends
bringing you down? Is it family? For some
reason, you're heart is hurting greatly. No one
seems to understand you, you don't even
understand totally why you hurt so bad....Am I
right? I may be totally wrong, I'm not too good
at these things.

What's Your Icon? (With Pictures)
brought to you by

@ 5:34 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

haha. ber left the word that cause i said i "zhao gan" haha. thanks ber!

anyway, watch this space people! i am going to be posting more pics from ber's photo album/ camera!!!

@ 1:39 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

hhaha..just finish doing bibliography for PW and printing the few coloured pages of our written report. finally..at long last, our written report is done. and its like after 7-8drafts! *faints* with 4-5 this week! haha. and even though we havent quite finish/start our oral presentation, we have already got out a rough sketch what we want to do and what are the contents for each specific slides.meeting on sunday, monday and tuesday. 2 more weeks people! and it will be all over! and i should start studying for AO chinese! everyone is! so i should i guess. need a good grade cause thats like the only subject i am pretty happy with.

oh yeah. quite disappointed with myself though. the marks for my chinese compo is dropping! from 52 to 42 now. my goodness..i think i have a 37 one too. WU HUISHAN! buck up sia. you got an A1 for chinese de lor. your english is not good, and you want your chinese to be not good too?! haha.

nowadays, when you come online, most of my friends' status will either be 'Busy' or 'Be Right Back'. and everyone is either a) rushing Pw or b) studying for their poly semester exam. haha. damn. got no one to kajiao. haha. man, just now while compiling biblio i actually got alot of thoughts. but somehow, now i forgot what i actually felt just now. hai. getting super forgetful nowadays. white hair is coming out again! boo boo. haha.

thank goodness tomorrow is friday. even though i have to meet on sunday but hey, i dont mind that much. cause, we always end up chatting and eating junk food and then concentrate and then idle and the cycle continue. its kinda fun. i think ingrid and ber were right. our group is the only group where everyone can tahan each other for as long as 16hrs(thats how long we did PW at ingrid's place)..haha. the 16hours actually include slp time. but it goes like this. when 2 people sleep, the other 2 will be awake, touching up this and that of our PW. then we will switch. haha. yeah. okie. i think thats all ba. will be back with more thoughts. nowadays i have alot of thoughts. -_-'

@ 1:36 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

its almost two in the morning. i am now at ingrid's house together with peihua and bernice. we were suppose to start on our oral presentation but we ended up watching tv from 9-10.15 and touching up on our final draft of our written report. muhaha.. slept abit just now. then when i woke up was kinda shock that it was onli 1.45am! haha..oh well..ingrid is the only 'powerhouse' here. she didnt sleep at all. me ber and peihua all lied on the bed and i think at some point of time, we got drift in and out of slp.. haha. feel kinda guilty...go people! hopefully we can AT LEAST start on our oral presentation. i m still sick people! more later people! i hope.

@ 1:57 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

@ 6:06 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

very very slow com..haha..now in school waiting for lessons to start!! haha.. i super long never blog le..diaox..cause its either a) feeling not there b) too lazy or c) busy with PW...can u believe it?! even after promos i m STILL busy. damnit!! PW and Chinese A Level 'AO' Chinese hurry up finish!! haha..then its december holiday! and its near my bdae!! *hint hint* muahaha

anyway, just to update on the few important/significant event from last week:

hello huishan =) <---bernice

15 October, Friday:
Cynthia's birthday! haha.went out with SPP and Mary Ann!! hahah..then we went Seoul Garden! 15 bucks man. *points to pocket* got big hole! hahah...then we ate. but i super malu!!! didnt know i was suppose to grill the chicken de...i actually put the chicken into the small bowl of soup..haha..then the whole chicken turned "wrinkled" immediately!! man, malu...then after that, san keep stuffing chicken to me and sivan!! cause, we dont eat seafood or beef! haha..then its fishballs, chicken, ice cream, the 'transparent' noodle! haha..the both of us (me and sivan) like go back to sec 2 home econs lesson! we were trying very hard to 'cook' our chicken..sivan keep asking me whether the chicken was cooked or not, but then i myself also dun really know! so when i see got places chaota already, i will say 'yup'! hahaha...then in the end, the place where me and sivan grilled the chicken got ALOT of chaota chicken sticking to eat. =P so paiseh..then after seoul garden, we went bishan. walked around, took neoprint, and bought cynthia 7 slices of those nice nice BREADTALK cake..haha..yeah..thats abt it.. had alot of fun people!!

16th October, Saturday:

Grandma's birthday. supposedly, i am suppose to go to her house at 7.30pm de. but then, if i go, i will be the only girl there. sorta la. minus my 2 cousins whom i m not exactly very close to. then my mum also not there. so, i was sick and i dun think i can handle being alone there, so i took medicine and slept till 8. then when i woke up, i got that pukey feeling. like i was having morning sickness. haha. then after that, took temperature, was having a fever! damnit! too much seoul garden and chaota food! haha..then i was sitting right in front of the window watching tv, waiting for my dad to close his shop so we can go over to my grandma place. so waiting lor. i was freezing in front of the window but dun feel like moving so sit there and freeze. then i finally went to my grandma's house at 9.30. reached there mingled around and ate nothing. i was feeling pukey remember?! haha..then around 10.30 we were called out to sing song and cut cake. so we did. etc etc. then after that, i was staring at my secondary school which was directly opposite my grandma's house. then mrs ong came over. she asked me whether i m planning to burn down my sch not. then i was like yah. haha. then she told me to start from the staff room but i said i will start from the principal's office. haha. then she said she wil join me!! whee!! haha then we talked abit. in the end, all of us left at 11.30pm. haha..then i got talk to my grandad lah. but he cant recognise me. and when he asked me where i was studying i SHOUTED JC! then he cant hear! until my uncle came to my rescue! haha..he mention uni and my grandad finally understood! whee! haha..so cute..

anyway, thats all ba. better end le. be back later to blog about today. promise! haha..
anyway, hope my mum's checkup was ok. pray that she wun have to go for another operation again. sigh. she will be ok.i hope.

@ 12:26 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

saw the mtv for faith hill's 'there you'll be'. man, and they show pictures of the movie. though i have never watch before, i can feel that the love story is gonna be sad yet sweet. then i feel like crying. hais...

@ 11:57 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

hehe..am at home now. just now me heli and eileen went out of school so we can go home. but as we were walking towards the bus stop, this photography teacher came and called us back. urgh. ahah..then he called miss tang etc. then we walked back lah. then he was lecturing. saying how the school organised the LEAP carnival especially for us. then whether we want the school to change the LEAP thing because of the 3 of us. then, i got SUPER big urge to retort back. to tell him to catch every single people who didnt come or is leaving school now. but i TAHAN! haha. then after tat when we reached school, i felt like telling him, happy catching students yah?! but i tahan. haha.then straight after we reached school, we ran out of the other gate. haha. so here i am at home again! muahah..take that!

@ 10:18 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

*content was deleted by administration(me!)*

i m bursting now. thanks abusee! for listening to me. haha. and mabel too. thanks people. for being a part of my life. and containing my weird behaviour. love you guys!

some people worth mentioning, who have been there for me all along since sec one: juan ling dawn (esp for the toilet episode last year at speech day), lai (for everything. giving me a practical side of everything. we have been through ALOT!), prem sivan san mabel and cynthia<--otherwise known as SPP (for being my friends through thick and thin. even when we are in different class. and for still being my friends now), mabel(we are still alive after 5yrs of war!), susanto and kelvin (surprise! for bullying me and making me laugh with your lame jokes, esp kelvin. you guys, are almost like my gal pals! almost.)

@ 1:37 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

haha..did a quiz. and at the bottom left hand corner, is what the quiz is about. this blog is PG people! PG!

@ 1:48 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

okie. actually was feeling kinda good. then my brother came and pissed me all over again. he was asking me if theres people born on december 31st, 1987. err..hello?! of course there is. then he was like.. haha. then if the person is born one day late. wont he be the biggest 17 in 1988. err...hello?! he will be biggest 16 year old in 1988 not the biggest 17yr old! when i tried to explain that to him. he came over, and attempt to shake my head with his mucus filled hands. eww..i slapped his hands away of course. disgusting. then he go and twist the story until he is correct. he say i am confusing myself. what he said was he will be the biggest kid in his year etc. then i m like. whatever. then he keep arguing. my sis heard him. so i looked at her. she gave me the "he's refusing to admit his wrong" look. then he keep screaming. so i said, stop rubbing ur mucus on the shirt collar. for goodness sake, theres enough tissue and toilet rolls in the house to use. then he keeps screaming. urgh. now,i m just ignoring him.

anyway, my brother is one disgusting pig. he rubs his mucus on the shirt collar. then use his mucus hands to touch the keyboard, the mouse, the playstation controller! ew...and he scolds me a freak when i wash my hands after i touch the mouse and keyboard before i eat! ermm..hygeine anyone?! and worse, eveytime, he will fart. and he is so damn proud abt it. the fart wull stink up the whole living room. and i cant go anywhere else cause my com is in the living room, my table is in the living room! AHH!! ask him to go shit, he will shout at you and ask you not to tempt him. hello?! if you want shit just go! urgh! disgusting! and his sch shoes! he never wash it! then when he takes it off, his feets stinks like hell. and ask him to go wash, he says he likes it. and when you are sitting on the floor, which i did once while wrapping my stuff, he will swing it ard so the smell will travel to your nose. thats not all, he eats like theres no tomorrow. he slurps like a pig. so disgusting. theres even more. i just dun feel like typing. urgh. i have a disgusting brother. can u blame me if i barred him from my room and from touching my things. and wanting to keep a seperate sofa?! oh by the way, his sofa stinks like hell. he sits in there when he is sweaty. so if u guys come my house, pls ask which one is his before sitting.

@ 12:24 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

what i am going to say next is gonna pissed some of you guys off. especially if you are from 04a4b. but why shld i care? i am pissed myself. i am just pissed.

remember we have a class contact system? well, normally its dysfunctional but this time, it is TOTALLY NOT working! the 3rd person from one of the links didnt even received the msg! shows how much our class unity is aint it?! come on people, dont tell me all of your handphone broke down yesterday! or all of the handphone provider screwed up. weird. then why am i still able to receive msg from you guys asking whether theres school tomorrow or not?! if the class contact system had work, i wont be receiving all this msg! come on man! i am sure it is always the same person who is not sending the sms. dun tell me you dont know who you guys are suppose to pass the msg to. i send each and everyone of you an email about the WHOLE contact system. do you know because of the dysfunctional system, some of our classmates actually went to school today. the firs thing i saw when i woke up to go to the loo at 8+ was about this. i was so damn bloody pissed. i cant even get back to slp after that. i wanted SOOO badly to come online and blogged about this, but, i know my mum will kill me. so here i m 5hrs later blogging about how i felt then. it has definitely been toned down abit. if not it would have been worse.

whats wrong with some of you?! when someone i think is mag was suggesting about class t-shirt and designs a few months ago, you guys only know how to grumble and complain. when another person come up with another idea, you guys just SHOOT it down again! if you guys are so GREAT and FASHION CONCERNED, why dont you guys comee up with the idea?! oh and, you may say, "i dont see any design or suggestion coming from YOU(me lah)!" well, i was not the one shooting down the ideas that people come up with. because i dont have any alternatives! so, if you guys want a class tee shirt and have a idea. draw it out. bring to class. show it to the class. it would definitely be appreciated. and if people dare to shoot/criticise you abt the design but refuse to give CONSTRUCTIVE comments, tell me. i will SCREECH at that person. which i feel like doing now. anyway, i may not be around to care so much about this clique filled class next year seeing how i screwed up my promos.

of course i wish to be ard to care next year. anyway, best of luck to the CT rep next year. sorry if i pissed off anyone. i just need to vent.

@ 1:18 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

haha. miss deyi alot. suddenly. maybe its because during promo week i didnt have time to feel. only have time to feel stress, to feel that i have no time etc. haha. then miss deyi. miss being able to go next door to kajiao ling and juan everytime a period ends. miss being "greeted" when walking pass juniors. haha. alot of things sia. lazy to list.

@ 9:21 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

after searching 840+ blogskins i finally found the one juan wanted. at least i hope it is. haha. anyway, found alot of nice one along the way. but i think i will stick to mine for now since i spent so LOONG to 'edit' it..muahah

@ 1:36 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

quite true wor.. about the feminist thing..but i m not an extreme feminist k?!the love choclate thing..and the insanely hyper at one moment and dead serious the next..haha..the rest ah? no idea..

@ 11:24 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

You are Ella, one of our most complex characters in
our story. You can rotate your role in life as
you choose, when you want the spotlight, you
bask in it, but you can also back away quickly
and brood in a corner. You love chocolate, and
can be insanely hyper one moment, then serious
as all hell in the next. It is difficult for
you to love someone, since the only person you
really cared for died when you were only three.
You are an EXTREME feminist, and you always
speak your mind. You have power over the water
(but you are afraid of the ocean o.O) and you
have mind powers (screw with someone's head or
read someone's thoughts) and you can steal
people's abilities, making you one tough chick.

If you had a personality disorder, it would be
Klepto and Denial. You deny the fact that you
do love someone, and you can burst out
uncontrollably when you had enough. You steal
people's items and tend to keep them for your
own intention. Overall...you're a cool cat,
and you know it!

Which character from our story are you? (Kinda resembes a personality tester as well)
brought to you by Quizilla

@ 11:23 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

my fucking asshole of a brother is playing final fantasy now on our playstation. and he is like blasting the sound. and i can tell you its not those kind of soothing music. not even nice. its those kind of thunder shock sound. then got those killing sound. its giving me a freaking hell of a headache. not helping my mood.

@ 7:02 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i feel sick. feel like puking. dun feel like going out for steamboating tomorrow. maybe it is just the thought of food thats making me pukey. being the super fussy eater that i am, i doubt i will have much choice of food tomorrow. even if the steamboat is vegeterian

and no one is replying to my fucking sms! even mr nandwani! see if i give a freaking care if we go movie watching or whether theres school on wednesday or not.

someone's feeling pretty perky huh? dun like my attitude now. well, get out of my blog. the sickening side of me will be back shortly.

@ 6:36 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

whheee..i loved baby looney tunes. haha. just watched their cartoon on kids central. every weekdays (except friday) at 1.30pm! damn, stupid school. i am like going to miss out alot! haha. here are some cute things they did in this episode, that i find so funny and cute!

they were suppose to bake a cake. so Granny told them they needed a third of a cup of sugar, a pinch of cinnamon. here is what they did:

-Baby Daffy poured out three cups full of sugar. poured the first two back into the bag and took the third cup to granny! hehe. so cute! but he was right in a kinda right. haha

-Baby Lola took the cinnamon bottle and started pinching it. and she asked Granny, "How long do i have to pinch this cinnamon?" haha. dumb.

-Baby Taz(my favorite!) started breaking eggs into a bowl. he thought the cake needs eggs. when Granny told him they told need eggs. he scooped them up again and tried to stick the eggshell together. Aww...haha.

-When it came to washing up, baby daffy was dressed in snorkelling gear! he wiill take a plate. "dive" into a sink full of soapy water clean it then pass it to baby bugs. Baby bugs was dressed in a raincoat as he was standing under a running tap. haha. so funny.

You guys should watch the cartoon. its cuter. not funny or cute when i describe it here. but oh well, i love BABY LOONEY TUNES!!!

@ 2:30 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

okie..on to how my day was..other than spending the whole evening in front of the com trying to do some changes to my blog.. i woke up at 12.17 today..aha.then had harshbrown and soyabean as breakfast while watching kids central!! hehe.still young at heart man. SMURFS coming back! every monday-wednesday 5pm! hehe..yupx..

then..had a depressing thought. i screwed up my geo promo paper BIG TIME. i forgot all about deep weathering! haha. and i even wrote that physical weathering is possible underground.*conks head* i think miss tang is like gonna kill me..hai..stupid sia! i was like rushing and rushing. cause when she said we were suppose to be on our 7th DRQ, i was still at 6th! hai..and my population essay! i got it all mixed up. Australia have low population density but not overpopulated! hai. thats another qns in the bin. congrats shan! hai. its over. i can only pray for the best. anyway, told kelvin about it and he was surprisingly nice..well, sweet if you guys insist. never knew he could be SOO nice..haha. told him how i screwed it up and he told me how he screwed up his chem paper. then he say he go play game liaox. then i was like okie..that was normal conversation. after that he came and say, you will be fine! wow. touched. haha. worth mentioning sia! haha. but thats like one in a blue moon. haha.

then around two plus went to lunch at the market. nothing much. then came back help mum in the shop so my dad could rest and get well soon. my mum was sick too. so i promised to cook tomorrow. haha. watch out tofu's! i m coming.*evil grins* haha. then came home ard 5pm. read my book 'Perfect Strangers' then fell asleep. woke up ard 7 plus. then came online. yup..

thats about it. but actually lots of thoughts came into my mind today. but i m just so lazy to typed it out now. hehe. must understand. been looking at the screen for SUPER long time. haha. then i just saw a crusor from another blogskin that i like alot! its a star! whee..will try to poach it over when i feel like it. haha. thats it for now! i m going to retreat back into my room and read my book. *waves white flag at computer*

@ 11:59 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

*phew* haha..got the new blogskin from blogskins.com..haha.but did somethings to it. i lengthen the box..and squueze the width..so that the side with my entries will require less scrolling and more easy to view. and the other side will be smaller. though the left side looks abit cramp but i m just so tired...haha..been trying an error to get the size to change. haha.then the crusor was actually a clock and everything that will make reading my blog difficult..so i deleted it away! all in all i m proud of myself!! haha

@ 11:53 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

heheh..so proud of myself..shifted the add...that was easy! then found out that my tagboard at the old site is still updating itself..so i changed my blog add back to the old one..delete away the tagboard's html and save. republished..then changed the add to the new one again and then paste my old template back! bravo! haha..maybe there was a easier way.but man, for a IT idiot..i m not bad! *grins*

@ 6:55 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

testing testing..

@ 9:07 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

haha..diaox..the results make me sound like some lovesick sicko..and like i m super fragile. yeah right*rolls eyes* haha..but as compared to the other results, i like this one the best. haha.

@ 9:02 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

You have a heartsick soul! Youre the type of girl
who always has a crush and is writing their
name on all your books. You are a hopeless
romantic. Waiting for that prince charming, you
take love seriously, but still play any chance
you get. You can have a lot if boys who are
friends, but waiting for that perfect
boyfriend. Sometimes you are discouraged
because there are no sparks but even if the
smallest thing happens, youre on Cloud 9. You
believe in true love and wait for it. Just dont
be afraid to take a chance. Love is all about
risks.

@ 8:59 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

List of to do list (before i start choi-ing PW and CLAO on 18 Oct):

1. Watch Amazing Race Season Finale
2. Watch all my taped show which should only be:

- The Wedding Planner

- Vertical Limit

- And one dunno what show

3. The vcd my sister bought, which has now become mine.

4. Read finsh 'Perfect Stranger' the book.

5. Play 'Harvest Moon:Back to Nature' on PS. started 3years ago, didnt have the chance to complete it cause i keep losing the memory card.

erm..i think that should be all ba. hm..

@ 9:46 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

firstly, ber, dui bu qi! i know this is rubbish lahx. cause we did say we wanted to go wimbledon-and-steamboating-ing but in the end, it was all bullshit. sorry. i wont promise anything though. but i do hope to go out with you heli weilin charissa yuting etc before we return back to school on wednesday. ok?! and i promise i will plan de. we will go out out and steamboat. okie? sorry!! have fun tomorrow k?!

@ 8:53 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

"I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away

I keep your photograph

I know it serves me well

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain"

haha..love this phrase/verse from "Broken" by seether feat amy lee! haha..song is stuck in my head! been hearing it like more than ten times since i downloaded it last night. come to think of it i dwnloaded the downloading software cause of it!

"I can let my hair down

I can say anything crazy

I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground

With nothing but a T-shirt on

I never felt so beautiful

Baby as I do now

Now that I'm with you"

haha..like this chorus from jessica simpson's "With you"..muahaha..it just sound so comfortable!haha..

@ 10:47 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

hehe..going out to watch Resident Evil 2 tomorrow with joshua vincent sherry juan! haha..juan is kinda like kana dragged along by me. haha. cause no one can make it from my batch. hope it will be fun and they wont throw popcorn around. haha. heard once from dont know who they threw popcorn everywhere. err...haha. i have very good juniors! go deyi student councillors! okie, i shall not be biased. go deyi PSLs! =)

@ 9:15 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

haha. no school today. but..i still had to wake up at 6.45am to go and collect my new passport. note: i m not going anywhere.my old one expired.okie? haha. had to go so early cause my dad want to come back and open his shop in time. haha..yeah. so i guai guai woke up once he called me. but my sister lazed in the bed. however, in the end, i was still the last one out of the house. what can i do? haha. i need to wear contact lens mah. my sis just stick to specs. say it makes her look more mature.

ANYWAY, so we got there just when they opened. but surprise surprise..we were not the first! haha..so we got there. then we went to counter 19 to collect lahx. haha. then everything went smoothly for my mum my dad and my sis. then, it was my turn. the lady asked friendly-ly(is there such a word?) "you have no ic and old passport right?" then i produced my ic and old passport. she was shocked and say i didnt look over 16! haha..then i thought it was a once off thing cause nowadays people can pretty much guess how old i am..but when we went to another counter to collect the subsidy, another lady was there. she needed us to sign some document first. so, she took all the forms and gave it to my mum dad sis and me. when i took up the pen all set to sign, she stopped me and asked me if i was over 16! my goodness. two in a day. do i look that young? haha..thank you! i can never grow old! haha.

so, we piled up in the car. and my dad missed a turn and got 'lost'. haaha. then he was panicking. my sis was panicking. cause she was suspose to direct us home. then my dad was like "stop pressing on your hp and look out for directions!" my sis was saying something that(cant remember)..then, they were panicking lor. haha. then my dad took another wrong turn and we ended in this private estates.lots of private houses. everywhere we turn cant seem to get out. haha. then my dad and sis panicked. haha. then, i was like, " aiya.relax lah. sure will find way de." then i just lean back and stare. then came a crossroad. my dad stopped and dunno where to turn. my sis didnt dare to say anything just in case she got us more lost. so, i just said turn right lah. and tada! we got back onto the main road! haha. always follow the girlguide man! haha. you will never get lost. (yeah right. *rolls eyes* i can get lost in orchard lor!) haha.

but we came back lah. haha. anyway, my neighbour bought a dog! so cute! anyway, its bettter than the stray kitten they had previously! i m less afraid of dogs. at least they dont suddenly pounced out from the door and block your way and then causing me to stand there like an idiot for 5mins cause i scared it will scratch me. almost late for school that time. dogs are friendly. it was waving its tail like mad just now! kawaii. haha.

@ 4:28 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

haha..yeah..one more day till promos over. today had maths. as miss ng had said. the paper WAS quite straight-forward. More straight-forward than middies. haha. but, as the tortoise as i always are(is?am?), i cant finsh. 29 marks gone. hai. thats excluding all the careless mistakes i hope i wont be making. haha. sigh. this is what happen you dont have EXCESS practice. so i dont think i will score this time. but anyway, had the urge to do more maths when i came back home. the adrenaline rush was still there. i love maths. haha. strange. i use to hate maths to the core and i sucked at it. now, i like it ALOT..and i kinda can do it. haha.

okie, will stop here for now. abit lazy to continue. but i got lots to say! haha.anyway, to the guy who posted my my pic, its okay.yup. and thanks for removing it. to no name who posted on my tagboard, alikado..i m strong! *flex arms* err..nothing there..haha..

@ 7:33 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Beauty queen of only eighteen

She had some trouble with herself

He was always there to help her

She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles

And wound up at your door

I've had you so many times but somehowI want more

I don't mind spending everyday

Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Look for the girl with the broken smile

Ask her if she wants to stay awhile

And she will be loved

She will be loved

Tap on my window knock on my door

I want to make you feel beautiful

I know I tend to get so insecure

It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies

It's compromise that moves us along

My heart is full and my door's always open

You can come anytime you want

I know where you hide

Alone in your car

Know all of the things that make you who you are

I know that goodbye means nothing at all

Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

Tap on my window knock on my door

I want to make you feel beautiful

I don't mind spending everyday

Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Look for the girl with the broken smile

Ask her if she wants to stay awhile

And she will be (x3)

And she will be loved

[in the background]Please don't try so hard to say goodbye

Please don't try so hard to say goodbyeYeah

[softly]I don't mind spending everyday

Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Try so hard to say goodbye

@ 11:34 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

haha..actually i already shut down my computer already..but suddenly got the urge to blog..urgh..lack of self discipline..haha..oppsy..one of the 4Ds of deyi..sigh..wonder if any new deyians know what our 4Ds are?! after we moved to the new building, everything seems to be about work work work..when change principal..worse..hate that principle. i miss deyi. but i dont want to go back. why?! haha. cause she want us to go and report to general office first. hmph. miss yap welcomes us back for your information. stupid sia.

anyway, discovered that i can be a good housewife and daughter-in-law! haha..not because i can cook. but i sure can help. ahaha..if you want me to cook, be prepared to eat food that is over cooked on one side and barely cooked the other side..haha..asking me to fry tofu is gearing yourself up for a good laugh.. i will keep flipping the tofu. insisting that it is cooked or chao ta every few minutes.then when i finally flipped it over, and discover it is still uncook, i will try to flip it back. but it will take me super long. haha. so when this process repeats, one side of the tofu will be overcooked and the other side is still okay. i wanted to cook the other side some more. but my mum will always insist by the time i flipped over, the overcooked side will be inedible. *grumbles* haha. and i can do housework! but like most of the things i do, i tend to take super long. hmm. let me see. mopping my kitchen will take my bro 3 mins tops, my mom 5 mins..me? 15 mins ++!! haha.. why?! cause i mopped by the rows of squares/tiles.. i will mop 3 rows, walk all the way back to the toilet, clean the mop, mop the next 3 rows and so on and so forth..hha..then i will mop 2 rounds..but my mum will always say its so clean that she cant bear to cook cause it will dirty the floor and my effort will be wasted..*proud* haha..

anyway, i got 2 more paper to go before promo ends. GP as usual, after doing i was emotionless and feelingless. haha. then econs was writing as quickly as i could. but still cannot finish. hope at least i will pass or get a AO pass at least. then CLAO was not bad. which is good, cause thats 1 definite AO subject i can not worry about. so i just need another AO and A subject. err...and of course GP..*sighs* why cant they take chinese as a promo critirea! okie, i know ber heli charissa etc is going to kill me.. okay, why cant they take either GP or CLAO as a promo criteria! happy?! unfair!! and they still dare say they want to improve the chinese standards in singapore..booboo..

@ 7:24 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

hehe..cute animation..go to www.cunicuni.com! super cute..aww...

@ 6:14 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

just discovered that i will be having CLAO promo paper at 0346..the classroom with the floor that is covered in a layer of dirt/mud..super sticky floor. worst, theres ants! ARHHHHH..how do you expect me to concentrate in that kind of atmosphere!!! I DEMAND A CLEANER CLASSROOM..just in case, you all dont know, i m afraid/easily creep out by every insects..my hair will stand..AHHHH!!!

@ 10:36 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

tomorrow is THE day..nono..not my wedding day*rolls eyes* *see lots of small raindrops beside ur face*..haha..tomorrow is promo!!! haha.. i will pass people! i will be there next year to be the OGL to go and kajiao my juniors. yesh! i will be there.

@ 10:31 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

hahah..recently i was told that my blog was funny because you guys can actually imagine me in front of you ratlling and muttling away abt the unfairness of life and etc. haha.. i guess its true ba. and sivan, actually says it makes her laugh when she reads it. hha..glad to be of service people!! keep on reading and laughing! bleh! =X

@ 8:59 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

oh and after you read my blog dun go all touchy feely with me. i m still me. the cuckoo girl k?! especially guys! thats you son! i think you are the only guy reading! i m still the cuckoo mum k?! hahaha...i will keep complaining abt my life..hahaa...

@ 8:26 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

*sighs* my mum might need to go for another operation. they found a lump of flesh in her body. the doctor gave her some medicine. it is supposedly to help remove the lump. i hope it does. if not, she have to go for another op. which is going to be horrendous for everyone. and i dun think she can take it. she did say that if they find anything wrong with her again, she will not go for the op. can u imagine? she has underwent 3-4 operations since i was in primary school. 2 last year. sigh. i hope she is okay.

she is sick now. i hope she gets better soon. i feel so helpless. i want to help her. but when i offer to go and help, she just ask me to and study. my siblings say she had been crying cause she sounds weird. but i thought she had a flu. but i admit. when she woke me up this morning, i think she just cried. mum, everything is going to be alright! god promise me that you will. people, if you are reading this, pls pray that my mom need not go for another operation. meanwhile, i m going to act normally ard her. to add some sunshine into her life. since, i m supposed someone's sunshine. *shivers* lame attempt at making joke. i m no one's sunshine except for my family and friends! people, pls pray! thanks!

@ 8:15 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

AHHH!!!! no one woke me up!! and someone shut my handphone up when it rang!! i just woke up!! AHHH!!! but, the slp was shiok! ahaha..*guilty*

@ 1:33 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

hate smokers. haha. especially the one living downstairs. he just like to smoke at the window. and i actually study at the window! can u imagine when he smokes, the freaking smell will actually travel in my room. thats not all. he likes to smoke early in the morning. especially on sunday. which pisses me off totally cause i like to slp in on sundays! but once the smell comes into my room, i will start having runny nose. urgh. and he likes to smoke in the middle of the night too. which, again pisses me off. cause as a growing lady i need my beauty sleep. haha. i swear, one day, when he smokes and i cannot tahan any longer, i will just take a bucket of water and dump it out of the water. and hopefully, it will pour all over him and stop his little fire. *glares*

@ 11:18 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.