i have a stiff neck and a sore throat. haha. and i want oreo!

i have something to say but i am having difficulty keeping my head up. haha.

in her shoes is nice.

i accepted the offer to do Business in NTU. i had my doubts by Juan told me this, "Want die we die together!" and that sorta comforted me. hahaa.

better go, my neck is gonna break anytime.
@ 1:11 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

its amazing how easily 'satisfied' i was in J1.

i keep laughing when i read my old entries.

so i guess..

"As a person grows/matures, the harder he/she will be happy."

its certainly true for me.
@ 2:26 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

was readingmy archives and found some funny things:

"..then we reached j8. kfc too many people. so we decided to search for heli's pencil case first. so walk walk walk. then weilin say she want go toilet. so we went to the 2nd floor's. it was right inside. when we were inside the toilet, the toilet suddenly black out. only left with those emergency kinda light. once the lights went out. guess what?! weilin said softly, "uh-oh" haha.she didnt expect us to hear but we did. me and heli and charissa was at the baisin we were laughing lor. then weilin came out. she was laughing too. then i asked her,"you go toilet le?!" she havent. haha. can u imagine?! she go inside the cubicle. about to use the toilet. but lights went out. she came out again. haha.. then we asked her to go back. weilin told us afterwards that inside the cubicle it was super dark cause no lights. then she was afraid she was going to see "things.."

"... this is what reagan wrote:"actually you are becoming prettier u know.... hope u dun kei gao wif me calling u 'airport' .... i declare u are one of the prettty girls that i know... hope u will find your prince charming 180cm de ok??? punchs and kicks... haha...ok la, hugs and kisses...bleah....0^-^0"haha.after reading this, i laughed like there's no tomorrow. haha. am still laughing now. cant think of what to write..."

"...anyway, stayed back to do maths promo paper 2003 with charissa, heli aka snoopy aka lucy, weilin just now. charissa left at 2.30 though. haha. then, was damn funny. we were in the student lounge right?! then the councilors super noisy lor. keep knocking on the walls from their side. you know what i did? i wanted to knock back lahx. but lazy to walk. so i threw my stapler at the wall and pouted my lips. haha. like some 3 yr old kid. then heli saw liaox keep laughing. haha. you should be there. it doesnt sound so funny now. then some people came in. played the piano. played christmas song(give me the feeling that my bdae is coming). then super noisy. then weilin suddenly "shhh.." then everyone turned. haha. it was funny. u should be there and see our expression.oh yah! weilin thinks that aerosmith's song, the Armageddon one is a christian song. bleh. ahaha.."

haha. but its all in the past le...
@ 10:34 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

@ 2:20 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Ashlee Simpson's "L.O.V.E" keeps repeating in my head and on my iPod.

i thought it was about love. but not really. its about friends.

hahaa.

"All my girls stand in a circle and clap your hands this is for you. UPs and Downs, Highs and Lows, No matter wht you'll see me through. My boyfriend never answers the telephone. I dont even know where the hell he goes. All my girls, we're in a circle and nobody's gonna break through.....*chorus* Say you'll be my girls for life. Girls for life!"

Love it. hahaha.
@ 2:10 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

going out with san tomorrow. meeting up with mabel later on.

i wanted to write alot of stuff. but i just forgot. hahaa.

i have finally locted my ipod! hahaa. it was in my sis bag for a whole week. hmm...
@ 2:19 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

At Billy Bombers last wednesday..

Sivan: (to san) " Where did you find her(referring to me)?"
San: *giggles* I*giggles* dont know!
Me: (normal. cause i was lost.) She found me when Mrs Ang put her next to me in Sec One!

*everyone burst out laughing*

till now, i still dont know whats so funny! haha. but it suddenly popped up while i was bathing. hmm..
@ 2:21 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i have another favourite!

whee~dazzling smile! cute! hahaa.

too much chick flick but its ok to be a little boy-crazy once in a while. hahaa.

@ 2:42 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

on wednesday, i woke up and decided to write a letter to lai since i havent talked to her for a very long time and i do miss her lots.

so i wrote a letter and sent it to her via snail mail. yes, the whole use a brown envelope and send it with a 25cents stamp mail. haha.

so when she received it today, her family was really comical. her sister thought it was a love letter and her mother wondered why i am still using traditional mail when we are living in a high-tech world. hahaa.

i dont know why i still use snail mail but somehow it feels more sincere than email. i mean when u write an email, you can be watching the tv, listening to ur songs and clicking away on another website. whereas, when you are writing on paper, theres less distractions. and theres always the unexpected surprise of receiving a mail from a friend! haha. anyway, she said she will reply soon:)

also on wednesday, i went out with sivan san and mabel to celebrate mabel's birthday. we ate at billy bombers and it has officially become my favorite restaurant even though their servings is HUGE! and AMAZINGLY, mabel almost finished her food. the rest of us didnt eat quite a huge portion of ours!:S i wanted to write on the feedback to say that their portion was huge but san said it will damaged the 'market' so she forbade me to write it on my feedback form. hahaa.

and of course we talked quite abit. which was really nice. and i agreed with what san said about stuff. haha.

oh and i feel so grown up when we talked about our GDP growth and the stock rates. even though it only lasted for like less than 5 minutes. lol.

friends i cant live without:)
@ 12:20 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

your signature color is Pink Chiffon

There's nothing saccharine about you — your sweetness is one hundred percent natural! A gentle, thoughtful romantic like you must be paired with a color that's soft and warm — but still has a subtle sophisticated sheen. That's why Pink Chiffon is the perfect color for you! You're probably known for making the most of every situation and trying to see the best in people. But while you may be cheerful and innocent at times, you're nobody's fool. You may see the world through rose-colored glasses, but you can still see, after all.While you make wise insights time after time, it's probably your good nature and perpetual optimism that are what you're known for and what make you a joy to be around. Even those who sometimes make fun of your Pollyanna-like proclamations will turn to you when they need a friend and some cheering up. So keep pink, Chiffon. With you around, the world's a better place!

Brought to you by Tickle
@ 1:57 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i feel guilty suddenly.

i was calculating my expenses for university. and i realise it actually amounts to alot. especially in the first year. how is my family suppose to cope?

i really have no idea. all i can do now is have a little faith and pray. cause god has a plan for everyone doesnt he?
@ 3:32 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i watched 2 movies in a row.

"Freaky Friday" and "A Cinderella Story"! nice nice:) Chad Michael Murray looked good in one but nt the other. BUT! hes gotpretty eyes! i love lindsay lohan! hiary duff nt that bad too..

waiting for my mum & sis to come back frm the hospital. my sis had a really high fever so her boss brought her to A&E. yikes.

her colleague quite funny.
@ 2:48 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

first thing first! Aras is so HOT!!!! lookie!



hahha. i was watching survivor:exile island in the afternoon. and guess what he won! hahaa. i knew it! anyway, nobody watches survivor anymore. hhaha. but i do! haha. actually i only watched the last few episodes. starting from the time that i was unemployed. hahaa.

oh yeah, i was thinking about math on sunday when i was home alone. my brother went out to study and my sister and parents were working. so i was sitting there watching "Jie D a Huan Xi" (which is pretty hilarious but lame) and this thought struck me. for odd numbers time tables like 3 time tables and 5 time tables. every other number is a even number. that means its always odd even odd even odd even...for example, in 3 times table- 3 is odd, 6 is even, 9 is odd, 12 is even! wow! haha. so there i was feeling pretty good about myself.

and then as i keep on thinking. ANOTHER thought struck me. of course every other number is a even number! do you know why? because they are all multiplied by even numbers! so of course they have to be even numbers! hahaa. then i felt so dumb. but i laughed. cause i was really bored.

so in order to prevent such things from happening again, i have been helping my mum mopping the floors, folding/ironing clothes and around in the shop. hahaa. and i take a break on saturdays. lol.

anyway, i was thinking about the past quite alot these days. haha. so is my US friend. haha,
oh well. anyway, i remembered i had this weird habit in secondary school where when i sneeze once, i will say, " aww..someone misses me. ok, i miss the person back." hahaa. and my intetntion then was to make the other person to sneeze too. but sometimes, i will say this instead, "aww..someone misses me. ok, i miss the person back. unless he/she is *insert name of person i dont like then*.." hahaha. i wonder if any of you remembers that? i laughed when i thought of it. i also remembered singing during maths lesson with reagan while miss lee was teaching roght in front of us. hahaha. we would be singing stephanie sun's songs. haha. and i also remember switching places with susanto all the time during science lesson so that cynthai and me can sit together. and we had to force susanto to sit with reagan even though they dont like each other. and and! i remebered that we girls will flood the 2nd floor toilet to change out of our PE shirt! we will close the door to the toilet and some of us will be changing in the cubicle whereas the rest will be changing outside. haha. nice memories.

and then my thought went to the JC part. i realised, i dont like the person i have changed to in JC. i am always complaining. always ranting on and on about people. i was never happy. and i bitch about people almost all the time. i dont like that. i guess thats why my JC expereience was rather sucky. because i wasnt being myself in JC . i was just acting on defensive mode. which means, i just go yes, no, maybe or go with the flow. i dont process. i dont think. this and plus another reason. which i think some of my friends will know. so to all my JC friends, sorry if i have bitch about you guys in a way or another. cause i know i did. bitching is not me. i dont think i bitched at all in secondary school..

on to other stuff. i realise that the true me. the secondary school me was still lost when i was working. and i am only starting to get that person back. and admist the process when i was lost, some people came along and tried to change the way i am. albeit unintentionally or sub-conciously. and i hate that.

Remember the phrase, " Dont act like you understand me very well. Cause you dont. And you cant. How can you understand me when i dont even understand myself"? i think sivan and gang should have a vague impression of it. cause i always write in my letter when we quarrel. and till now, i realise, i still stand by that phrase. i dont even understand what kind of person i am. whether i am the think-ahead kind of person or the think-while-you-do kinda person and such. so its impossible for you to understand me. so dont act as if you understand me very well and try to..i dont know how to coin that action. but yeah, i hate it.

i realise people's been trying to change me. to change the way i live my life these past months. albeit unintentionally. the food i eat. the way i dress. the number of times i go out. to these people. bugger off. you might not realise it. but what you guys are doing are getting on my nerve. its my life. so let me live it the way i think i want to. you have your life so if you want to change something. do it to yours leave mine alone. i like to eat chocolates. i like to stay at home. i like to dress simply. i dont like fancy clothes. so LEAVE ME ALONE. BACK OFF. i am me. and please try to stay out of my life. cause you guys make me sick. i am not going to tell you guys anything about me again. never. well, not more than what a normal acquataince should know. personal thoughts and such are exclusively for myself and my gurlies.

thats another thing. i realise i have been pouring out the whole deal about myself to people. people i have just met and such. and due to this, these people know every single little thing about me. my thoughts on relationshups, family adn such. crap. how stupid can i get. so now on, they are all gonna be kept private and confidential. just the way it should be. and back to the way it was before.

shopping. i realise i can never get psyched about shopping. you will never hear me say, "i MUST have that piece of clothing!" never. because to me clothes are just clothes. i dont know how to explain it. but they are just...things. i will never obsessed over such things. and SPP, if you guys ever do see me do that, hit me on the head ok? because i think its just a little bit -_-..thats why i only go 'shopping ' with san, cyn, lai, mabel or sivan. because they understand the way i think about clothes. and thankfully, they dont pester me to go shopping for clothes with them. i mean, they do ask me out to walk walk. but not all the time. not "lets go out and buy pretty clothes. you must buy" kind of way. i just dont know how to explain it. so, people, forget about asking me to go shopping with you all. cause i only go buy clothes with my gurlies. and thats that. nothing else.

ha! so people, you cant say i am going to torture my future boyfriend! look at the incentive! he dont have to go shopping with me! wow! hahaha..

oh and my friend was telling me that some of his friend are like that. as in they go, " AH! i MUST have that top! its calling me! its so pretty!". and they are guys! omg. girls i still can understand. but guys? eww. major eww. hence, metrosexual are definitely not the kind of guys i like. i dont like guys who obsesse about their looks. please, just leave it to the girls alright?goshh. i dont like health freaks too. those who stay of ice cream and chocolates and exercise all the time. eww..stay away please. hahaa. my US friend actaully laughed when i told him these. he thinks its hilarious. but hey, seriously, i have been meeting quite alot of health concious people lately. whats with that?

oh well. loong entry. and a potential offensive one. sorry if i offended anyone. i am not pin pointing anyone ok? just a genereal summary of people i have met recently and stories i have heard.
@ 2:39 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

lunched at fish&co with my mum dad brother sister and my granny.

its funny how we only lunch with my granny after my grandpa is gone. my grandpa would be very happy if he is still around. but its nice, nonetheless:)

my sister spent $20 playing arcade today at PS. omg.

ntu tomorrow for hi-tea. urgh.
@ 9:10 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

its the same thing again.

she got a job before me. its really everyone for herself.

so why am i always so stupid to think of people when i am out seraching for a job?
@ 9:27 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

so TIMES havent called me yet. so i wonder whats the uniform for? on the prowl for job again.

but i am reluctant to do so.

cause i like being at home. a small percentage of the reason why i am reluctant to go out to work is that (i have to admit) i am lazy and that i like having THIS much of personal time to myself.

then again. a major part of the reason is...

i want to spend as much time as possible with my family before i enter university. and (even though its not confirmed yet) before i go and live in a hostel.

because once i enter universtiy, i am afraid that i will change. i will change into someone who dont appreciate my family members or change into my ugly self. you know, the me when i am tired and stressed. the me who will grumble at my folks for every single little things they do for me. yeah.

so hence, i want to spend more time at home to let my fmaily members know that i am here for them and i appreciate every thing they are doing for me. before i go into university. before i start to change.

change is inevitable. because the me from primary school, from secondary school and in nyjc is slightly different. its called growing up. but not all parts of growing up are goos. haha.

you get what i mean?
@ 9:14 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

"Indecent Proposal" is a nice movie (and i thought it was a porn movie in the beginning).

"The Parent Trap" is a very very nice movie (even though i have watched it for the umpteen times).

i went out with my primary school friends on friday night. well, two of them. bernice and shu ping. haha/ but we met rebecca at the MRT station! haha. we took neoprints and had dinner at swesens. yum yum. all 3 of us had "Frosted Chocolate Malt" for desert without prior 'collaboration'. hahaa. its a fun but weird night at the same time. hahaa.

i got hired as a part timer at TIMES the BOOKSHOP. but then i think its a very unorganised company. because apparently (i think) they will only call us when they need people on that day. ie that morning they need people, they will then call you in the morning.-_- well, thats what i think is how it works lah. but then they might surprise me and call me on monday to inform my work schdule for next week. if not, i think i am going to look for another job again. *sigh* lobang anyone?

i spent $50 to buy 3 books. "Angels and Demons" and "Da Vinci Code" by Dan Brown, "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen. AHHHHH! and i am suppose to be saving because i am 'unemployed'. hahha. but then, the world must be changing. because san, who (like me) used to be a saver like me, also spent a huge among of money to buy books AND shoes. she bought a pair of URS Inc shoes(which they do not have the same pattern in my size), and 4 books. 2 harry potter and 2 dan brown. AHHH! hahha. SAN!! we must STOP spending! haha.

one of my ex-close friend refused to come to a group gathering. the reason? she feels awkward when she joins us. and she prefers to meet up with the other group. and this comment totally pisses me off. i mean, YOU are the one who REFUSES to give us your new contact number. and i must say. for the first two years after we graduated, i have been stupidly sms-ing you on your birthday to wish you "Happy Birthday" to your old number. and now, you say you feel awkward beeing with us. i dont exactly know how to put it in words. but BUGGER OFF. i dont give a shit whats happening to you anymore. read my lips, "i dont care". and to the rest, do not mention her name in front of me. and what are you trying to imply when you refuse to give us your new number? that we are not pretty enough to be your friend. fuck off.

but, thanks for the memories anyway.

psychology seems fun. but so does hospitality. which which?

sometimes i think that i am too much of a perfectionist. i want things to be perfect. i dont know. maybe perfectionist isnt the word to use? hmm.. i havent geot that thought formed yet. am i a perfectionist? am i proud? am i inflexible?

and sometimes it doesnt pay to be sensitive to people. because when you are nice to these people, you somehow, in a way of another you expect them to be sensitive to you. i mean, doesnt the phrase go, " do undo others as you would they should do unto you"? in my case, this phrase is crap half the time. this was spark off by something i saw on a blog.

oh yeah. one of the candidates from the opposition team actually mixed up a english phrase. he said, "Make a molehill out of a mountain" ! its suppose to be " Make a mountain out of a molehill". Right? and he actually used it in a rally. crap. hahhaa.

its called a toilet bowl for a reason. it holds water. so after you pee, it is not alright for you to just add water in and declare that you have flushed the toilet. especially for the sitting ones. and for the squatting ones, by adding 2 drops of water is not considered as flushing. gosh. i have to teach my family members, namely my sis and my dad , how to fkush a toilet. and i have to keep nagigng them to TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES before coming into the house-_-.

alright, i think thats about it.
@ 11:56 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

My inner rock star is.....



Your inner rock star is Britney Spears!


Feel it, sweetheart; the rock star in you is all Britney—the envy of cheerleaders everywhere. One part girl next door, one part naughty sex kitten, you're definitely not as innocent as you look. And that is why nobody can get enough of you. You are the ultimate American girl with some serious staying power. Unlike other success stories, you and Britney are more than just a pretty face: you've got talent, confidence, and the brains to back it up. With a talent list like yours it's no wonder you're at the top of the popularity charts and young men's hearts. We love you. Shout out your inner Britney!

Who's Your Inner Rock Star?
Brought to you by Tickle


haha..omg.
@ 12:54 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i cant believe it. i actually said GP lessons were fun last year.

what was i thinking?!

and i miss laughing with snoopy gang.

i miss my grandpa.
@ 1:38 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

@ 12:43 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.