刚才在冲凉时，听到933在说如果要维持一段感情不是一件简单的事。特别是性格相差十万八千里的人，不要说交往，甚至要做个普通朋友, 也需要费进九牛二虎之力才能把这个友情搞好。

我想了想, 发现其实感情是个很微妙的东西。如果性格不和, 就不要当朋友lor! 可是，人就是很奇怪。不可以了，还硬硬来。but i guess its because, we must have seen something good about the person that we like. or all of us have an innate "faith" that wants to beleive that everyone is good. OR! its because we are stubborn. and refuse to admit that there are just some people in the world that we cant get along. 就是这样。

然后呢。。就是感情吗。。有时候，吵架时， 一定会有一个人让步。 而往往都是同一个人在让步。可是，很多人不知道的事实，可能就是，其实，那一个看起来好像“坏人”的家伙，其实可能也有暗暗的在让步哦！例如，当他看见他不喜欢的东西/行为时，他忍！这也是让步哦！ 哈哈。

lols. i have enough of chinese typing. i came up with all these while listening to 933 in the showers. so the thoughts were in chinese too. but they are kinda "diluted" because i had no time to pen the thoughts down until after my biz law discussion. so yeah.
@ 11:32 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

if anyone says girls are more picky than guys, i will shoot them.
@ 1:31 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i am stressed. remember how terrible i was during the mugging period last semester? i am like that now. and its not even near exams.

the thought that it will be at least 3 weeks before the madness settles down, tires me out. 3 weeks. then what? 1 week of normal activities before the madness picks up again for the final stretch towards the end of year one.

i have been sleeping more than usual. even then, i am still tired.

and the fact that i may not even get A's again for this semester despite putting in more effort than last semester. is wearing me out. i am just a 2nd lower class honours holder now. 2nd is bad enough. but LOWER? fuck it.

sometimes, i really dont think i am cut out for university. its a place for the brainiacs and not the hardworking bumble bees. so then why am i still trying?

theres only one solution to this. but its not gonna happen. cause hes busy with his life. my sky is falling. you hear me? where are you?
@ 7:54 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

when my world is crumbling, when my insecurity builds up.

where will you be? what role will you play?

then again, i shouldnt rely on anyone to pull me up. because no one will be around all the time.
@ 1:49 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

was lazing and trying to motivate myself to start reading the biz law case study when i receive a sms from san, "shan, you free for a quick dinner tonight? ask zi hui along!" was still feeling unmotivated and sluggy. but knowing how busy that woman is, i agreed. and i decided to let myself off for the afternoon and declared tomorrow as biz law day. (note: BEWARE!)

as 7 pm comes along, i dragged myself out of the house and met the two girls at J8. had swensen and FINALLY! i cured my craving for fish and chips. *yums* i had strawberry sundae too! san made this comment, " this is the first time i am seeing you eat strawberry." haa! true true! cause i have had always been a chocolate kind of girl. but as everyone on my msn knows, i have a sudden love for anything strawberry. hehe. all thanks to the strawberry smoothie from coffee club.

ok, off to do my accounting tutorial.

one down, two more cravings to go. pastamania and sakae. and i am dreading wednesday night.
@ 11:15 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

at long last, i can finally blog~! but i think i forgot half the things i want to blog about.

lets see. ntu open house "training" session was a flop. once the chief student AMBASSADOR started talking, he offended me. he talked like we were idiots and hes the greatest of all. you must be kidding me to tell me that he's the CHIEF. gosh. and then theres so many things still undecided. okay, i understad that they have to wait for confirmation from the admin and yada yada. but cant you all at least give us an estimate or something? and the phrase mr wilson lee told my commitee in sec4, "buay zai act zai". which means, even when you dont know anything, act like you know. hahas. yeahs.

that said. i think these days i am rather critical. so i better try and learn to shut up before i shoot myself like someone i know. tsktsk. and maybe cause i used to be from student council and PSL , i am more critical about all these. i tend to take ANY committee and compare it with those two=) old habit die hard. and i am MISSING being in a leadership role!!! not in projects but in these kinda student welfare thing! no thanks to my friend who keep sms-ing asking me for activities to organise for the student body-.- maybe i will join the SU! who knows.

little kids make me smile! on my way home, this little kid with a jelly in his hands sat next to me. initially, i was super afraid that he's gonna spill the jelly on me or kick me BECAUSE i am wearing WHITE shorts and god knows, what will happen if theres a stain. but after awhile, he kinda settled down and his mom took away the jelly. so being bored, he keep stealing glances at me! so cute~ and i keep making silly faces at him. hees. then when i was alighting from the train, he looked out of the window and waved to me! his sister too! that really brighten my otherwise dull day=)

anyway, i found one song that fits me. TOTALLY.
yups yups. that should be all for now.
@ 3:09 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

calamari rings are made of squid.

shit. my friend cheated me! and i ate those. yucks.
@ 2:30 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i scored rather badly for my psycho mid-term. as much as it hurts me to say this, i dont think i a going to minor in it.

in secondary school grading system, i would have just gotten a B3. so its probably a C- by uni standard.

i dont have the optimisn and the determination to push on any longer. back to the way i was before A's. and the difference this time, i dont have my grandpa to comfort me.
@ 9:48 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

幸福是骗人的。是一下下的甜蜜。他给的幸福是假的。 是我太小气了吗？我真的搞不懂。我不想懂。但却很想懂。重来没有这样矛盾过。

我几时才能解脱？
@ 12:56 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

2 written report, 2 quiz and 2 presentation. i plan to delegate one day for each subject next week. hopefully can finish by friday and then i can have like 2 day rest. note the word--> HOPEFULLY.

can comms studies topic get any more "interesting"? can they come up with something more fashionable? like fashion~! like pets! like hobbies~! instead of beer, phishing, spamming. sound so IT to me. so boring. so yesterday. can you tell i really dont like 114? i STILL find it a pointless subject even though what weijian told me seems reasonable. oh well.

i look like a SUPER panda. and its only going to get worse as the week drags on. in school from 8.30 to 8.30 tomorrow. wish me luck. *yawns*
@ 12:14 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i used to be a chili padi?

waahahhahaa.

asking me to be demure and let guys take the lead is like asking the sun to rise from the west. not gonna happen.

and if i cant get a boyfriend like this, then fine. so be it. i am not gonna pretend.
@ 3:18 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

while having lunch at pastamania on cny's eve...

*me having chocolate mousse*
cyn: i wish you grow fat.
me: what?!

hahahs-.-
@ 2:33 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

that was taken at vivo yesterday=) hees.

oh yeah. brought my family to visit the hall. the outside of the hall. and my mum and sis make me sound like such a wuss and failure for wanting to move out. great.

new year resolution: learn to stay mad!!

@ 2:35 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

somehow new year dont feel new year-ish at all this year.

maybe its cause grandpa is not around anymore. maybe its because its his first anniversary today. but somehow, the family seem to have dispersed. we didnt agree on the time to go to gramps house. so we didnt have time to sit down and catch up.

and my mum been throwing tantrum all day. parents are quarrelling. none of them want to pay for meals. dad keep screaming to go home. i really dont like new year this year.

i want to go for a spin in his car. but he will never take the bait.

and i realised, i want to get rich. i will work hard to get rich. i want to live in the lap of luxury. this renewed urge. i will.

该忘了你对不对
怕自己无法面对
无怨无悔
把一切留给纪念
受过沉默的创伤
它会慢慢
被岁月一片片填满
渐渐就习惯
不再想忘记
曾经最痛的地方

该忘了你对不对
我应该坚强面
对学会遗忘
不能像爱的挣扎
记忆会为我收藏
那些美丽时光
为爱付出过的力量
带着爱去寻找幸福的希望
@ 10:55 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

and then theres me. playing around with my camera.

then i pulled scotchey in for the shot.

then theres accounting lect. which is totally unprouductive. i have come to the conclusion that the fengshui on the left side of LKC is not good. me and scotchey didnt pay attention AT ALL. waste of time. and i only had 2 hours of sleep the previous night! can we please have that guy lecturer back?!! took pictures again! this time, during the break that was given.

hahas. thats it.

oh! wait. i dont like comm studies. my class is perfectly fine. but i dont like the subject as a whole. its just teaching us to be "fake". to be insincere(or unsincere?!). to lie outright. i mean, your tone will come across nice, polite and everything naturally! do you think the person is gonna say, " oh no! she didnt use you-attitude in her letter to me. i dont like her.not going to do business with her"? craps. and ok, so it exudes you-attitude in your letter. but what happens when you meet up with your client? i absolutely dislike the module. period.

@ 2:38 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i didnt realise how true that sentence was until i said it out loud to cyn.

i just want him here.
@ 2:10 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

valentine's day. another one single.and YET another time i am going to say this. next year, its gonna be different! hehes.


scotchey and i saw lotsa guys holding flowers today. there were no girls around the guy! we saw two guys with a bouquet of flowers in the middle. then theres 3 guys with one bouquet each walking in a straight. omg. whats wrong with the guys in NTU? lols.


so me and scotchey went back to hall to check for the last time if we left anything behind. i went to the toilet while she stayed in the room. when i came back, the door was unlock and but i cant see her! so i felt weird. i mean why would she leave the room and not lock the door? and then i thought she went and boil water! but then again, she took all her stuff home! so how can? then suddenly i hear her, "cant take out eh!" i was shocked! so i went in look at the cupboard until she popped out from under the table! she was trying to take her lan cable out the whole time! omg. i must be really blind or shes "hiding" real well. hahas. oh wells.

and while on the way back to S4 we walked through the staff office. we were like "tourist". "thats jenny goh! the lady who keep sending us email!" and then " thats loh mei ying who keep sending us mail!" lols. not funny then but come to think of it, it is a little.

and scotchey, you forgot to hand in ur FM!!!


not too bad a day i guess.

@ 11:18 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

why do i have such a big mouth and go around telling people about me and him? i think i have jinxed it.

we were getting on so well last night. 2 hours of sleep was nothing. and i was surviving on the conversation and sms-es from him. purely.

and THEN i go and tell people that we are talking again.

its Valentine's Day. so why is it that i have the urge to tell him to fuck off?

i just want to cry.
@ 1:17 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

@ 7:00 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

me and bestie agreed that no matter how messed up lindsay lohan's life is we still love her! and we dont know why. i know sivan dont like her!! lols. blehs~!
@ 9:26 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

went to get my hair done at reds.

never going back there. because the hairdresser basically have no opinions or suggestions as to what kinda hairstyles will suit you.

so i am going back to my hairdresser after her maternity leave.
@ 11:40 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

if i could, i would skip school for the whole of next week. and i would not do any of my tutorials. but i cant.

i have done accounting and half of FM. which means i still have half of FM and biz law to do. *faints*

tomorrow still IS psychology day. hopefully by the time i finish psycho, i will still have time to fiddle around with SimNet for my access test on monday.

and i realised, its never a good time to break up with another. or to tell someone that you have fallen for them.
@ 1:31 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

shopping with cyn and lai yesterday.

a color thats not what i wanted initially. but i fell in love with it anyhow. lols. yipees~

hair tomorrow! wonder how i am suppose to squeeze in time for psycho mid-term. helps~!

@ 8:31 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

ok,i think i postedmy AB114 presentation video. wonder why it still has appear.

dont laugh when u see it! i stand until so ugly -.-
@ 4:38 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

@ 4:12 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

=)
@ 12:39 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

been meaning to say this but i keep forgetting.

AB114 presentation. strange feeling when i stood in front of the class. i remembered smiling at scotchey and my eye-candy. then thats about it.

i think i just blabber through the presentation while looking at nothing in particular (or did i look at the camera? eye-candy? eye-candy group?). i dont find the need to think about my speech like when i do marketing presentation. dont feel nervous BUT my legs shook like mad when i moved. lucky no one noticed (i hope). and then *poof* its over!

cant wait to see the video~ i know i am going to look horrible but STILL!
@ 2:51 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i almost gave up on accounting.

but i didnt. hahas. BUT! my account/bank reconciliation thingy dont balance. and i cant find out what went wrong (though i have a strong suspicion that its because of the initial book value)! blehs. monday! i will pay attention on monday.

and sleep early on sunday. dont laugh!
@ 2:38 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

when i think of him and of our little situation, i can feel all of my energy flush out. so tired.

turns out most of them cant make it tomorrow. theres only me and cyn. what can i say? but disappointed. i guess everyone is busy with their life. i'll just keep your valentine's day gift with me for now. get it from me as and when.

when can i escape from all these? 19th valentine's day alone. and i think i am getting soft. theres this stall selling flowers and bears at J8. i melted when i saw it today. i even went "awww~". hahas. darn. i use to think that these kinda things are sappy and corny!!! whats happening to me?!! this is bad.

more than ever, i am waiting for a surprise to actually surprise me. really. and its NOT because of valentine's day. i mean, for the whole of my life, i've never been truly surprised! ever. so you see, i am beginning to think that theres something wrong with me! is it me or is it everyone else? (i know scotchey will say, "its you"-.-) hahas.

anyways..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SCOTCHEY! BIG 2-0 !
@ 10:44 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

eye-candy~! or should i say eye-candies in this case! wahaha. 2 in my class and 1 not (but i keep seeing him around). much better than last sem where i only have one! lols. and yes, most of them have tiny eyes and looks like "ah-beng" (according to hanwei). hahahs. who cares!

as long as i dont feel tired, i wont think about you. but now i am.
@ 11:32 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i know i am not suppose to apologise because its not really my fault in the beginning.

but like degen said,theres something about guys and their ego.and that i shouldnt sleep on the problem for too long.

so i apologised to him. and he ignored me. i am guessing he had dragonboat training today and hes tired so he didnt reply. but if he really dont want to forgive me, then he might as well delete me from his msn, friendster and myspace. save me the agony.

the funny thing is, if he really did all those, i will probably cry till theres no tomorrow.

and i know you guys are sick of hearing me harp on and on and on about him. because its always about the same thing. no matter how many times i say i want to move on, i always go back to square one. its not that i didnt try, i did. but one sweet word from him and i am goo. seriously, has anyone seem me in this kinda state before? no. the answer is no.

ok, and some of you out there are angry at me for god knows what reason. maybe its cause i didnt tell you guys that i am withdrawing from hall. or that after all the shit i said about staying for the entire semester,i ended up withdrawing. or for some stupid things that i dont even know about.my words or something. read my lips,i dont care.

if you are angry with me, tell me what i did wrong and why. so i can explain. so i ca understand and if i am really in the wrong, i can apologise. but if you dont do that, then fine. bugger off.

i have enough on my hands as it is.
@ 2:17 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

我是真的喜欢上他了。

even though its normal for us not to talk for two days, i just cant stand the thought that we are "fighting".
@ 10:54 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

my block number. hall 6, block 33.

the security gate.

after climbing 4 floors. finally reaching mine.

the view outside my door.

the dustbin and the shoe rack we never use.

our door (stuffed full with ads!!!).

my bed! with all the baby pictures=)

my table.

one shelf of food.

one shelf for pooh and eyeroe.

one for bottles, shampoos, toothbrush and such.

my desktop cram full of pictures. (try spotting yours!)

the bathroom where we brush our teeth.

my favorite cubicle to bathe in. the one in the middle!=)

paper bags for girl stuff.lols.

it used to be a guys toilet!

yups. thats more or less it. maybe i will miss hall life. but i chose commuting! so yups=) whats important is that i do my best this semester. but i cant help but feel a little sad. because theres still so many people i want to bring to my hall. SPP. my mum. my sis. my brother. him. but i cant. i miss him.

@ 6:43 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i just reached about an hour and a half ago. thats like 14hours plus of non-stop travelling! well, non-stop being a relative term.

went back to hall to get some stuff then had my 7 hours of marathon lessons. couldnt pay attention during accounting class because my laptop was being used for presentation. so what with my tutorial being in the lappy and this and that, i kinda got distracted by the thoughts in my head (you so dont want to know who the thoughts are about). so haha! but IT and psychology was good =) i love psychology~

after that took train back home. chatted with colleagues at J8's perlini and dad+gramps in the shop, climbed 8 floors home. took my stuff and left again. off to the library to report my loss of book and to pay my fines (total:$52!!!). helped my sis looked for some books. then its toodle-loos to the dentist AGAIN! waited for quite some time and FINALLY fixed my bracket that came off. now i have to avoid chewing and brush SOFTLY. oh and try not to bite my teeth when i sleep! lols.

had dinner while watching tv. i miss having dinner in the living room surrounded by my parents and my brother. lols. cause me and my brother will be trying our hardest to explain the story to my parents. hahas. oh wells. i will be getting those alot =)

anyways, i sms-ed lai and told her, "lai, i feel miserable. and i managed to make him feel miserable. but why is it that revenge is not sweet? that i dont feel any better?" lai being lai. and this is the one thing i miss most about her. she talk sense. she replied, " if revenge feels sweet, then you wouldnt be huishan le right? and it would mean that u dont really like him to begin with right?" and after asking so many people the same qns, this is the one answer that made an impact. thanks gurlie! =)

i am abit brain dead. so what i am saying is about random. gah!
@ 11:30 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i thought i need to stay at home.

but when i stepped out of my dads car in the middle of the road, the wind hit me and i felt good.
@ 11:53 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

maybe all i want to do is to make someone feel as miserable as i feel right now.

maybe thats why i am being unreasonable. i am being bitchy. i am being the person that i was in secondary school. trying to hurt people just to make them show that they care. just to know that i exist.
@ 2:09 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i wanted to continue to not talk to him. but in the end, i am so desperate for someone to comfort me that i just unblock him and replied him when he msn-ed me.

he wasnt much of a comfort. he knows i am feeling awful but he just ignores it and carried on as per normal. well, its better than nothing.

i guess everyone is afraid of me right now. i have had so many breakdowns. but this time, this is the biggest i have ever felt. i am so unsure of all the relationships around me. i realised that my life is built on empty promises and empty friendships. my insecurities are building.

all i want to do is stay at home. and mugged. but in order to mug, i have to go to school. and going to school means coming in contact with people. means having to put up the front that i am okay when i am not. means keeping the emotions at bay.

ad now he has meet up with another of his new online friend. and hes making me feel like shit. i wish i didnt unblock. i wish i had kept up my ban. i wish i didnt exist. maybe someday i will give in to the urge, the temptation to just cross the road when the cars are moving or jump down the track while the train is a minute away and see how far i can run.
@ 1:43 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

happy people stay away from me.

i cant stand reading another happy blog entry. cant stand hearing people having a great day. cant stand seeing happy people. i just want to wallow in my own misery.

sometimes, your own life seem to go perfectly that all you can see is your own happiness. that you forget that people around you may not be feeling your happiness. albeit intentionally or unintentionally, you tend to ignore the sad people around you. maybe what you are trying to do is to pass your happiness to them. but its not working. its irritating them. thats how i feel.

and attached people (other than cynthia and mabel) stay away from me.

i am so looking forward to next week when i will meet cynthia and san (hopefully sivan, lai and mabel). i am so looking forward to seeing them. because i just want to be silly. i just want to blabber on and on. even when they dont understand me, they dont look at me in a weird way. they will have fun trying to deciper what i am trying to say and always get it right in the end.

i need you guys.
@ 8:21 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

stupid jonathan. didnt call me since J1? and the moment i picked up my hp today, he said, "can i speak to 亮的?"

so of course, i said he got the wrong number! cause i forgot i had that nickname (see! proof that my sec school people piles me with so many nicknames that i cant remember!)! then he scold me stupid! gah! hahahs. oh wells.

been weird and nice talking to him. but now i am "laden" with the responsibility of helping him to find out how to get the NTU scholarship. gah~! hahas.

if its so easy, why do i feel like crying?
@ 3:34 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

stop counting the days. then maybe it wouldnt be that hard to get by.

you can get used to this.

and if you are so similar to her as he said you are, then take a leaf out of her book.

away with people who are pulling you down.
@ 1:09 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i finished FM. plan to do AB107 and HP101 tomorrow. can you believe it? my psycho mid-term is coming up. yikes. but at least mid-term is/are (plural or singular?) all MCQs.

i dont feel like opening my mouth and talk. my ulcers are strategically located such that once i move my lips, *tada* it hurts. and not to mention the metal ends are poking me at the back of my mouth. so yeah. been pretty silent since i came back home. not that it makes any difference. i mean, no one seems to understand what i am saying these days cause i am always mumbling and i cant form my sentence fast enough. especially when i try to speak in English. shucks. i have a presentation on wednesday. not good. needs to make a trip to the dentist to have the ends snipped off and to get more wax for my teeth before cny. gah gah gah.

i miss helping out in my dad's shop. so when i came home on thursday, i stayed in the shop until it closed at 9pm. i forgot how to use the cashiering machine! ok, maybe its because they installed a different software(which totally sucks by the way). hahas. i guess as it gets closer to the new year, i will be going down more often to help out. =) hopefully business will pick up and my dad can rest for 3days this year.

maybe i should try to learn to stop putting myself in other people's shoes. maybe i should stop being so aware and sensitive to what my friends likes/dislikes. maybe i should INSIST that the world revolves around me for a day. maybe i should behave like people owes me stuff. that when someone knocks into you on the street, its their fault and not yours. that when you stepped onto poo, its heaven's fault and not you. that when things happen, you blame it on external factors. because maybe if i stopped acting the way i am acting now, everyone will stop taking me for granted. and because everyone around me are acting like i owe them (direct translation), like the world's owe them. and they seem to be having a happier life than me. so maybe i should start taking people for granted, will that make me feel better? will that stop making me feel like shit?

i really dont like the word "lah". it sounds rude. and it sounds like the person couldnt give a damn. it sounds uncivilised. period.

i probably came online for the least number of hours today. i didnt plan to come online at all. but because i need to charge my ipoddy, i need to switch on the lappy. so there. FLAH!

i have no recollection of who came to talk to me last night (thursday night) because i was dozing off in front of the computer. so seriously, if i ignored you, i didnt mean it.

it seems like everyone gets into relationship with some kind of long term goal in mind. be it to get married. be it to do this and that. and if they dont have a long term goal, they will look for one. wonder if cyn and mabel feels the same way? or am i the only one whose goal of getting into a relationship is NOT to get married? that i will be just happy with the company, with the presence of someone who will look after me more than i will look after myself (vice versa), someone who will declare a "treat-huishan-like-a-princess-day" when he sees that i am in a uber pms-y mood (vice versa) and someone whom i can just be silly with? is that wrong? why is it that all couples around me are not happy with their relationship these days? maybe because i am still naive. maybe. just maybe.

glad to know you. i havet used this phrase for eons. and i guess i havent felt this way about knowing someone since secondary school. i thought i felt this way recently, but then again, i am doubting it. do i really feel this way about them? oh wells.

my insecurities about my relationships/friendships with people are increasing all of a sudden. and i have no idea why. someone help.

headache that i dont deserve. will my "wish" come true? i doubt it.
@ 2:09 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i dont know how to blog anymore. once this screen pops up, *poof* everything goes away like they dont want to be documented. dont want to be remembered. but i need to write it down to process it. and think about it.

sometimes, i get so sick with my thoughts of him. that i just want to delete away his friendster, his myspace, his hp number and his msn. but whenever i scrolled to his number/msn/friendster/myspace, my finger will hover over the delete button. and i chicken out. cause i really cant stand to know the truth. fuckit. wimp.

maybe its pms. but i want to cry. not just because of him. i just want to cry and cry and cry. the dam of tears are building up. theres nothing sunny and cheery in my life to evaporate them. i need to let them out. if not i will be feeling horrible for god-knows-how-long.

on the side, i bought valentine's day gift for SPP and besties =) shall we have our usual v.day gathering this year? i wont be staying in hall that week! so please? pretty pretty please? hees. meeting some of them to go cny shopping next friday! so far, only san and cyn has confirmed. cant wait. but i think i better hold on to their vday gift =)

i love psychology. i really do. the lectures, the readings (mad huh? how can anyone love readings?!!), the tutorials. just that sometimes i wish i have a better tutorial teacher. not that the one now is not good. just that shes a little flustered? hmms. i love the way she laughs. super funny. its like hurhurhur. like the way i go *acho0* before i really sneeze! =)

and i love accounting, love bizlaw(though i hate it when melyvn has pms) and still dont get FM. and considering what degen said, maybe i should seriously consider if i still want to specialise in banking and finance in Year 2. went for that hospitality talk with hw on wed, and it got me more determined to specialise in Hospitality. and of course theres marketing. but seeing my grade from last semester, i feel so letdown. GAH! i am determined to buck up in my FM. which includes, trying not to freeze to death during the seminar, not falling asleep, reading the questions from tutorial and etc. yeahs~!

righto. this are just shallow-processing stuff. so there.
@ 3:18 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.