The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

@ 9:06 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed.

With respect to money, you are a bit stingy.

You think good luck depends on maintaining good relationships with others.

The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort.

You have a tendency to overdo things, but basically you value your friendships highly.

When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you base your search on information from your friends.

@ 9:04 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Your IQ Is 95

Your Logical Intelligence is Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Average Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius Your General Knowledge is Average

@ 9:02 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i just found out something. my parents know my eye candy! they even know where he lives. and the parents probably know each other.

apparently, he lives in my neighbourhood for as long as i have. strange. how come i never see him before? maybe i had and i didnt think he is eye-candy material?

haha. he came to my dads shop today just as i reached home. luckily my dad didnt ask me if i know him or if he knows me not like he usually does. if not i will just die from embarrassement. hahaa. then while he was looking around, my dad told me that he grew up here and where he lives. hope he didnt hear. cause ultra paiseh. i just keep looking at the newspaper. hahaa.

oh well, eye-candy only what. anyway, he's not much of an eye-candy to me le. haha. looks really dont last past! hahaa.

anyway, my dad has a very weird way of thinking. he expects me to introduce myself to every NYJC-ians that enters the shop. cause he says we are schoolmates what. dots.
@ 9:37 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

guys. if u dont buy her world. buy it this month. its nice.

i found a chiffon dress thats very nice. but its 99bucko.O

oh and guys can actually fake the big O? hahaha.. interesting. theres lots more o!
@ 11:25 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

this is bad.

i am panicking. the 1st time in my life ever! i never panic during o'level, promos. why now?!?!!

i am suppose to be studying but i am instead here changing my blogskins.

i am so afraid of gettin 6/25 again like last year midyear. i am so afraid of this coming midyear. i feel like i have so many loose ends to tie up! i havent complete any of the core topics for physical geo and i havent touch maths in eons. i am so screwed.

its so hard to stay positive now.

tell me when have you seen me in this kinda state?!

on the other hand, i like my new blogskin. did someone have it before?
@ 6:38 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

it sucks to be me now.

hahah. why?

i am having my first day of my monthly cycle. and i have ran out of chocolate. i finish my half a bar in the last half hour. now i can go ahead doing maths! and today is my maths day!!!

i need more supply. becuase tomorrow is econs day. AHHHH!!!

help!
@ 7:28 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

haha.finally change the skin. but its still kinda weird. but have to do i guess.

is there any music? i have no idea. my computer cant play music cause i uninstalled the sound thing. something like that.

heheh. kids! okie..bah. back to the tv.

i am using uknymood again. hahaha
@ 9:42 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

You're like me! The intelligent loner. You're shy
at times but friendly, and you are never weak
and always independent. You are incredibly
intelligent (wise beyond your years) and have a
talent for many things (sports, music, art).
You have a kind and warm personality and enjoy
the simple things. Like hanging out with
friends and watching movies at home. But you're
sometimes quiet nature makes you a bit of an
outcast and a mystery to people. No matter how
pretty you are or smart or athletic, you just
can't seem to break into the crowd and be
noticed. Don't worry, try to be more outgoing
and speak out when you have more to say. Don't
hide behind your books and sports and computer,
get out there and get noticed. You also have
deep desires in life and feel vunerable and
alone at times. Don't feel sad either, What
helps me to express feelings and dreams that I
can't say to people, is through my writting.
Maybe you should try.
@ 10:01 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i have decided to save and buy a digital camera!! yeah!! i am looking for a...you guess it! pink digital cam!! i think olympus has it..saw it in some magazine!! not bright pink okay? i not that flashy..

but thats gonna take awhile cause the ipod drained my account.

my mum has sponsored to buy me my phone cable. but i cant decide whether to accept the offer or not since our finance situation not very good..

my mum has suggested buying pink curtains for my room! whee..i want pink bedsheets soon..hahaha..THAT will drive my sister up the wall.

but seeing how she is so desperate to redecorate the room, i dont think she minds. she even offered to colour my piece of wall pink ( i think pink wall is too much!) and blue..both my favorite colours and colours she cant stand. she likes orange and yellow i think..oh well. we have 4 walls in the room. so there.

*i have a problem with my spellings nowadays.
@ 11:12 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

its weird. practically every blog i go to. i see a list of what people have study. its as if everyone is trying to show off what they have done and instill a tinge of panic into their fellow classmate.

either that or they are trying to tell themselve that, " i am doing well.." kinda stuff.

i am guilty too. ahaha. but its more of comforting myself.

i shall do the comforting offline. cause i know how irritating it can be.
@ 10:16 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i am going to be cave woman le. not becuase i want to study.

yesterday i screw up the video and the tv.

and guess what i screw up today?! my com!!! now it got no sound!!! HOW?!!! i uninstall the damn thing.

i am going to convert to snail mail when i want contact people le. and the radio for entertainment.

dont be surprise if you receive a letter in your mail...

dont know to laugh or cry...
@ 11:51 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

guys, it takes 4.5days to do tourism with my speed. so if you know my speed, you can guage ur time according to that. the 0.5days is for the case study of thailand. so yup. any slower than then you have a problem. oh and, study according to ng kim teck's list! u will realise we have alot of ADDITIONAL information.

hehee. just thought i would let you guys know.

i have ALL of physical geo left and 5 econs. NO MATHS!! i am so dead. wish me luck yah?
@ 11:05 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

found a pic. more info at la senza's website.
@ 6:04 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i just spent the past 3hrs (which is supposedly to be use as mugging time) fiddling with the VCR, the TV and the whole chunk of cable that comes with it.

why? i tried to set a new channel to my VCR and BANG! the whole thing disappeared~! and so did all the TV channels! i was panicking! fiddle fiddle fiddle. and my brother was no help. he was there laughing at me. pfft. some help he is.

then i went and dig in this dusty cupboard for the instrution manual and found it! after much AHH! OHH!-ing, i got everything back and i got to record my show "Hope Floats". Phew~ IMPORTANT LESSON: never NEVER throw away your instruction bklet.

anyway, i am exhausted. pondering whether i should study today. but the answer shld be no ba. i got 4more TOURISM to go and ALL OF physical geo and 5 more sets of econs. screwed! and i have not touch any maths at all. but i am beat! see first lah.

anyway, La Senza got a PERFECT bra (sorry guys!). it can be worn 5ways! the normal way, criss-cross, one side, lower back and halter! *whistles* but it cost $55! i am going to start saving sia. definitely a must have bra. i mean you can wear it when you are wearing halter, barebackand sleeveless without worrying that your strap is showing etc! whee~! cyn interested? haha.

okie. i am tired. be back for more.
@ 5:39 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

decided to give myself a break from night time mugging today and tomorrow.. studied till 2+ for the past week and after some reading i sleep at 4+everyday. siao~

dont care if i can finish studying le. so tired. fever everyday. hai.

anyway, i beieve with my restock junk food storage, the afternoon studying pace can speed up. grrr~i can only hope.didnt do much. finish industrial geo. and 3sets of tourism. hmm..and 5sets of econs. more to come more to come. i have 14episodes of anime waiting for me! thats 7hrs! hahaha
@ 11:41 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i dont know whats wrong with my dad these days.

he is controlling the time i sleep. the time i logged off from the computer. the things i do. the amount of time i spend to read the newspaper.

sheesh. give me a break. and who put him in charge of MY LIFE? and what spur the sudden 'i-am-the-dad' craze?

i just finish watching LOST. not a bad show. polar bear in a tropical island? weirdy~ thats the sci-fi part guess.

and guess what? when i sat in front of the com, my dad was like, "eh..just after watching tv then still use com ah?" its so hard to not to be rude. pissed, i just rolled my eyes and said, " if its not the com, it will be the work. whats the difference?" and he just back off.

i cant stand it. first my mum thinks i am REALLY holidaying. that all i do is laze around and enjoy when in fact, i am trying to psycho myself to start working, and i am working and i am trying very hard not to cry (the urge came back.). and when i am studying, my mum will come in and ask me to go out and rest and enjoy.

then theres the whole dad thing.

GIVE ME A BREAK GUYS! I WANT MY LIFE BACK! ITS MY LIFE! I HATE STUDYING!
@ 12:00 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

while studying(more like copying the notes..i am making a colourful ECN out of my plain ECN-_-") and listening to "The Best of Disney", i remembered quite abit of secondary school.

i remembered sitting in com lab 4 and laughing/trying to laugh out loud with Lai, Peiyu, Luyi and Syliva as we watch the air con flap plonk down every few seconds. and my funny pronounciation of "ad-nore" when its suppose to be "ig-nore" (or is it the other way round?).

i remembered being in the PCCG room having the alumni meeting on the ONE and ONLY combined camp. how we were trying so hard to come up with themes for the camp and how i brilliantly (ok, sivan and cyn, you can hit me) came up with the theme of "Distorted Fairy Tales" where the villians of all the tales has come together and mess all the stories up. and then how we tried to come up with games for the selected fairy tales, and how we keep drifting off (including Mrs Ong!) and started talking about the fairy tale instead. i think we almost drove weiming up the walls. and chee yong and yongkang happily sleeping in the corner. waking up occassionally to ask whether the meeting had ended or not?! and stuffing ourselves with potatoes chips after our late lunch at the coffee shop opposite deyi.

i remembered sleeping at the fitness area during the last councillor camp i went to while gaya santo juan ling tracy and weiming were talking. and how we all crammed into the council room after our juniors woke up and then we were unconcious for the next hour or so. oh, and how me and ling saved joshua vincent weishun and pius from being sabo while they were sleeping (great seniors arent we?)

i remembered me and sivan went all the way to the 4th floor and bathe at the teachers' toilet near the labs during camp. it was so ulu that we had the whole place to ourselves. and poor sivan always had to wait for me while i bathe slowly in the toilet. haha. oh, it was also then we found out we were both using the samea deodarant! haha.

i also remembered having champange, vodka, coke, chips and lots of pizzas during our personal coun committee farewell party. how i was also sick and everyone resticted me from drinking coke and vodka cause i just ate my medicine. i was only allowed a little champange and it was caused we opened it with our cups below and i manage to collect some. haha. and we themed ourselves, " the Horny dynasty". hahaa. i remembered crying too cause my mum called from the hospital and i was so angry with myself for not being able to take care of myself when shes away. and making her worried. and saran was comforting me in his funny way and made me laugh. and susanto's "you are gonna be okay." ( i swear he doesnt know any other comforting words). and how as everyone cleared the coun room i was allowed to sleep at the fitness corner. tracy even gave me a massage(the always caring ah ma!). how we dont want to go home. and how we ended up playing "truth or dare" and susanto had to carry me and spin around. and i had to hug saran. oh, billy carried me too. thats the problem for being the lightest! haha. and susanto and gayathri was dared to kiss. but did they?! i couldnt remember. oh, and the girls cheekily made me revealed a little that i liked susanto. gosh. and he was there! i had fun.

strange that all this things happened during the last mth of my secondary school life. but yet, they were my clearest and happiest memories. but now, i am barely in contact or close contact with any of them. talking to susanto is still like talking to a horny devil but he seems to be caught up in his world. the last time we talked was at the first day of this year and i believe he was drunk. the rest i still see them here and there. i guess i kinda miss susanto (ranjan, if you are reading this, i DO NOT LIKE susanto) cause i used to complain to him all the time. he was my abusee. ahah. THAT was pure lameness last year and he actually went along -_-"

oh well.
@ 1:21 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

wheee. GREAT day today!

went studying with mag, yuting and charissa today. though i didnt do much but the progress is MUCH MUCH better than the progress i have at home with/at the same time. we keep getting distracted so mag wrote a BIG "focus" with subtitle "studying is what we do" and place it up. so malu. but it was fun. at least i get to clarify my doubts=)

then went to watch movie with san cyn. actually mabel and cher siang suppose to come de. but something happened. so yeah. i guess something never change?! oh yeah. i like our group the way it is =). oh oh. madgascar is SUPERB. even though it 80min only, it worth EVERY SINGLE CENTS OF THE 7BUCKS!! its super funny. i like the gloria and the penguins~!

ohohoh! i bought another book! "The other side of the story" by Marian Keyes. and i bought two more comic! 11books away from the ending. hahaha. so in total i spent like 60 bucks on books+comics in 2 days o.O! haaha. oh well, at least it helps me de-stress! OH NO! i have become a book-a-holic?!

oh well. i am going to play game le. its my rest day AGAIN!

"i like to move move it! you like to move it move it. i like to move it move it. you like to......MOVE IT!"
@ 8:47 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

did i tell you guys i have a habit of dancing around in my living room with my ipod crank up high?

haha. it helps me relieve stress.
@ 10:24 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

had a pretty good day yesterday.

make-up lectures were LONG. it was till 1.30pm~! anyway, i made it through with a tiny-weeny nap during econs lecture. hey! Nathan was monotonuos and THAT makes me drowsy.

anyway, after that, me and charissa were suppose to study until 5 when our tuition will start. but then, i mention that i have 20% Kinnokuniya coupons and tada! we decided to go to kino! haha. we had Old Chang Kee and doughnuts from that doughnut shop in Taka for lunch. and its off to kino! i spent a lot of time in the fiction section contemplating what books i should buy since i cant find ANY books in my booklist(yes, i have a booklist!) (ps: borders is still the best!). so charissa was there standing and looking at books and going, "this one sounds nice.." and me going, " maybe this one.." and pass books around. in the end, i decided on buying 2 books. "The one you really want" by Jill Mansell and "The Party Season" by Sarah Manson(<--that was in my OLD booklist and the FINALLY have it).

so charissa went to the ou xiang ju section while i went to look at kids chinese books. hahah. in the end, she cant decide what to buy. so she offered one of her 20% coupon for me to buy my shaman king 11 (yes, i have decided to complete the series! i foresee me going broke in the near future.)

haha. then we went to enjoy our doughnuts. charissa decided to go back and buy a book call "Little White Lies". but then she saw J*Star magazine that her friend wanted and she only got one coupon to spare so she bought the magazine instead. so guilty! but no fear! i am going to get more coupons so we can go back there!

HELI~! therefore its absolutely important for you to cut tose two coupons out of the Wednesday paper! heheh.

yeah. then we were late for tution. haha. tuition not that bad ba. but throughout tuition, i keep having the urge to read the 8-days i bought and the books!!! and guess what? i wanna buy more=P. hahaha.

okie. and once i reach home, i slept all the way till one today. haha. then i only started doing geo at 8. shit. a week gone and i did nothing.
@ 10:05 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i did nothing today.

tried tutorial 17 and i think i could faint. so yeah. didnt watch tv or take any nap. was doing econs DRQ and essay outline. now all i want to do is to curl up in bed with a good book.

but then. sigh.

my hair is damaged! my sifone has stop producing so i am trying out some new shampoo. being the picky hair it is, it doesnt like it. so my hair are clump toogether as if i have put too much gel.-_-"
@ 11:40 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

ok, this is the thing that irks me and irritates the hell out of me about christianity.

they have this idea that if you believe in Christianity, you get to be brought to heaven. and those who dont, well, you can rot in hell. not literally. but you know, kinda like you are left to fend for yourself.

this is the idea that was translated to me ever since i went to church(not just one church). and when i talk to people of that belief. its either they have a MAJOR problem in phrasing, or they truly believe that.

i believe anyone can go to heaven as long as they have a good intention. they have a good spirit. a good soul. a intention to do good. and when God comes, it doesnt matter whether you believe in him or not, as long as you are good then He will accept you. because He is that "kuan rong". that giving.

i think thats what Christianity is all about. very few Christians i've met share the same view. so, stop thinking that you are a notch above the rest just because you are a Christian. and please, do away with all the quotas/goals and the persuasion of people to follow you into the belief.(heli, i am NOT talking about you in this statement. i am talking about those who are on the streets collecting numbers.)

in the end, aint all belief the same? arent the moral of the story the same?

i like the idea that was taught in sabbath class when i was young.
"..theres is only one god, what differ is just in His appearance.."

i may have offended some people by saying this. so sorry. its a free country. i am entitled to my own opinion.

but then who am i to say anything?

stop treating like spare tyres. i believe thats what everyone wants to say. lets be frank about it. you're a gd friend. but that doesnt justify your actions.
@ 12:42 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

cyn, its ok ba.

as long as you guys dont bail out on me the last minute. cause i didnt go watch star wars cause i wanted to save the money to go watch madagasca with you guys. and i REALLY wanted to watch star wars (anakin skywalker *drools*) ahaha.

yeah. so hurry up and send me the date and time u guys are free by this weekend. and when the date is set, i dont care what comes up. you guys have to come! if not i am pissed. you know how irritating it is when everyone expects you to tell everyone else? no one offered to help! and i have to go online and keep checking the timing.
@ 12:34 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.