been thinking quite alot. alot of random thoughts.
-
i think not taking science course in my jc life will always be a mistake i have to take with me. i miss biology. i miss physics even. i realise this when i was visiting the doctor and he was telling about all the science terms, and i went hey, i knew that. but eventually those will start to disappear cause the terms will start to fade away.
-
my sister my brother and i. we are really different people. study wise, my sis is the happy-go-lucky girl. she will finish her homework. but at the cost of her sleeping time. she goes out in the day and comes home ard 8 and do homework. thats about it. me? i am the 'studious' girl. dont mind me saying. i do my homework. i do assessment book or advance homework when i am done with homework. i read storybooks. i m 'hardworking'. my brother? ha. that lucky ass is born with brains. what can i say?
-
i didnt go school for 3 days and the bus route change. it nw stop outside mrt station/jubilee o.O. haha. anyway, being back in school is great. laughed alot today.
-
i have decided to adopt a new lifestyle. i will start doing homework latest by 7.30pm. and will end at 11.30. will sleep by 12.30. cause i realise my previous lifestyle was horrible. monday was the worst. i will sleep at 2+ every monday! haha. so i guess maybe thats why my body protest. so yeah. hope i can adopt it successfully.
-
ok. better go.
@ 11:16 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

been thinking quite alot. alot of random thoughts.
-
i think not taking science course in my jc life will always be a mistake i have to take with me. i miss biology. i miss physics even. i realise this when i was visiting the doctor and he was telling about all the science terms, and i went hey, i knew that. but eventually those will start to disappear cause the terms will start to fade away.
-
my sister my brother and i. we are really different people. study wise, my sis is the happy-go-lucky girl. she will finish her homework. but at the cost of her sleeping time. she goes out in the day and comes home ard 8 and do homework. thats about it. me? i am the 'studious' girl. dont mind me saying. i do my homework. i do assessment book or advance homework when i am done with homework. i read storybooks. i m 'hardworking'. my brother? ha. that lucky ass is born with brains. what can i say?
-
i didnt go school for 3 days and the bus route change. it nw stop outside mrt station/jubilee o.O. haha. anyway, being back in school is great. laughed alot today.
-
i have decided to adopt a new lifestyle. i will start doing homework latest by 7.30pm. and will end at 11.30. will sleep by 12.30. cause i realise my previous lifestyle was horrible. monday was the worst. i will sleep at 2+ every monday! haha. so i guess maybe thats why my body protest. so yeah. hope i can adopt it successfully.
-
ok. better go.
@ 11:16 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

you guys probably know i dont like a lot of things. but this are the things i really hate.

i hate lazy people.

i hate people who ALWAYS do not do their homework for no good reason.

i hate people who take my homework to copy without even attempting.
(unless they are really busy to have even no time to attempt)

why am i saying this? because my brother is getting on my nerve. again? YES! again!

he probably knew i wont help him in picking his subjects in sec3. that i wont even bother cause i told him that if he wanted my help he better start showing me some effort in his work. i told him, " i dont care if you hate the teacher. i dont care if you hate the bloody subject. i dont care if you dont sleep. but if you want to be the one choosing the subject and not the subject choosing you, you better get your ASS working NOW!" he didnt.

this is all he does when he comes home. reach home around say 3. he will switch on tv. watch it. use the computer at the same time. sleep from 5 to 8. wake up wtach tv use com until 10.30. attempt to do homework 5minutes. sleep. wake up. pack up. sleep. and then he will come to me and say, " My teacher cuckoo de. give us so many homework. i dont even have time to finish!" i dont know to laugh or punch him. cause i am the one working my ass off since 7 and i cant finish and i am NOT complaining. *rolls eyes*

anyway, he was at a lost as to what to pick cause he got the survey form already. so he approach me in a very discreet way. or so he thought. i was happily setting the tape for desperate houswife later and he went, " wow. geo very difficult. dont know whether to take anot when i go upper sec. my school got two department leh. one is sci and other is geo. i dont know.." haha. i knew he was going to explain to me and ask me to tell him the best choice. and i did this. "i dont give a damn. shut up." and he got stunned.

he is probably formulating some lame excuse so he can go whine to my parents and then my parents will come and bug me to help him.

*rolls eyes* parents. hai.
@ 8:45 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

ahh..i can finally stay awake long enough to use the com. its scary.my brother actually permanently logged himself in on msn cause for the past week i havent been using much of the computer.

for those folkies out there who dont know what happen this week, this is what happened. i was sick. very very sick. it started on tuesday. and it has not ended yet. *sigh* i missed like 3days of school! boy, do i have alot to catch up tomorrow.

anyway, its kind of sad that i have to drag my ass out of bed again. and i have to suffer bad canteen food. for the past week that i have been sick i get to eat food that my mum cook! yummy-licious. and i get to sleep for the whole day. not that i want(liar!). haha. everytime i try to read, 2 sentence is the furthest i can go!! oh well.

now i am under strict supervision to drink water, blow my hair after bathing, sleep early. cause the origin of my illness is still unknown. but it was rather scary cause we suspected it to be dengue fever. my fever was not going down. when it went down, it come back up after i take a nap. scary. better go.

medicine is acting up again.
@ 11:39 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

sick. and to show how sick i am, i didnt come online at all yesterday. and i didnt go to school today. wonder how much i have missed. ~worried~

i think i can just fail the geo test tomorrow. cause once i eat the medicine, i will be conked out for 6 hours. by then it will be time for the next dose. and that will be another 6 hours. geez. where got time?

my mum is nagging me. about how come i will be sick. the reasons are really irritating. never drink enough water. never sleep early enough. bathe too late. puh-lease lor. you think i dont want to sleep early is it? theres just piles + piles of homework to done. how to sleep early? bathe too late? harlow? i bathe at 9.30 not very late lor. others bathe at 1+ 2+ dun see them getting sick.

was telling her i am planning to skip my medicine once so i can be awake enough to study and she got mad. piangz. she nowadays very cranky. this time i sick all she do is nagged. say until like i dont want to get well on purpose. yeah right. you think i like the feeling that your legs are going to fall off any moment?!

i just wanna cry.
@ 2:00 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

wanted to put some pictures. so...



the first one: me in sec 4
the second one: me in J1
the third one: me in J2 (now!!)

haha. abit bhb. but hey, anything to prolong the time i go face the maths. haha.
@ 12:05 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

was watching the grammy. it distracted me from my maths. boo. from tomorrow onwards i think it will be go geo geo all the way. i have the essay(trust me, its gonna take the whole of tml) and the test to study for.

anyway, the tv is off now cause U2 was irritating the hell out of me. but i enjoyed Alicia Keys performance, and the combine performance by Maroon 5, Black Eyed Peas, Gwen Stefani, Los Lonely Boys and one more band but i forgot. anyway, it was really cool when they sing their own song together! really really cool! i think channel 5 should repeat the Grammy Award on a weekend night so i can watch without feeling guilty~!

haha. okie, i better go. book is calling me.

Some people want diamond rings.Some just want everything.But everything means nothing.If I ain't got you, you.
@ 11:45 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

woo... sweet! just heard a marriage proposal over the radio. aww...

hhaha. ok, i wasnt intending to write that. anyway, another year of valentine day spent alone with friends(eh..dont make sense? read it again. it will!) haha. and like last year, i will say,"this will be last valentine day spent alone!" haha. but this year its done alone. without san, cyn peiyu and those deyi first 3 mths SRJC-ian. cause cyn and peiyu are attached!!!(congrats!!! i heard cyn's from junni) and san is not with me now!

valentine is just like previous. well, minus the hetic+chaoctic scene of PSLs running around and knocking on doors to deliver gifts. minus the Sivan Cynthia Mabel Geksan. minus Lai Luyi Peiyu Sylvia. minus Juan Ling Dawn. minus alot alot of things. in short, valentine day this year IS quiet.

last year went out with cyn sivan and geksan to suntec for valentine day. wore a skirt. complain all the way, went back to change to jeans. haha. had fun that day. this year, ALL of us have school. so cant meet up. but we are meeting up on Saturday! dont you guys dare say you cant make it (besides we promise mrs ong!)! haha. i want go swesen eat ice cream and catch up!

anyway, received gifts! most of them, i should say, all of them are chocolates! except ber's! haha. hers was lots of lots of stars!! whee!! haha. must find a place to put it.

ok, as you can see i am not in the mood to 'narrate' so i better go get econs over and done with so i can do maths. haha.
@ 8:28 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

why is my friendster in pink?!
@ 12:20 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

happy valentine day to all single folks out there~!
@ 12:15 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

just realise its valentine day tomorrow. (due to the amount of love songs on radio now)

geez. avoid going town at all cost. kissing couples everywhere. PDA at its highest. been there last year and its horrible.

alone but not lonely.
@ 8:00 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

lala. been in a grumpy mood the whole day. not those outward grumpy. but its inside.

i have conflicting thoughts. alot alot.

read through the notes for "the application of integration" and found out, the topic is not that hard. all i have to do is listen. yeah. i must admit, i am prejudice against that new lecturer. maybe thats why i claim that i dont understand. i think its i understand but i refuse to accept it and apply it cause i dont like the teacher. aye. coomplicated thinking. but i have decided to move aside my prejudice and concentrate during his lectures. (but that doesnt change the idea that i think he dress very gay-ly)

haha..ok, better go. i am not doing geo essay. dont feel like going to school! still got that public holiday mood..

i dont care what you say. i'm loving you anyway. its the way you make me feel.
@ 7:50 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

my house reeks of mosquito repellent.

you know those mosquito coil that your grandma use to burn? those you burn during camp?

yup! my house have that kinda smell.

not that i mind. as long as it keeps the pestering mosquitoes from disturbing when i sleep at night.

so the next time you see me and i smell stinky/like mosquito coil, you know why. dont ask or you will get an earful because i will rant about the mosquitoes.
@ 2:20 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i am bleeding. haha. before you all go, "Ewww...why is she talking about her menstration?". i am not!!! i am bleeding through my nose. AHHH!!! its like i havent bleed from the nose for no apparent reason since 2-3 years ago.

this is what happen:

my mum woke me up to go to my dad's church this morning. my nose was block so when i felt fluid flowing out of my nose i tot that was mucus. so i took a tissue and wipe it. and i saw blood!!!

i shouted for my mum and she thought i was sleep talking (it happen alot to my sis). but when she came in and saw my bloody tissue she went and took a wet towel. so while she was in the kitchen wetting the towel, i made myself sit up. the blood was flowing like crazy. and my mum came back. she pushed me down. i force myself up. haha. and this repeat. up. down. up down. in the end, i was sitting at a angle of 45degrees..

AHHHH! but the blood was too much. and it flow back down my throat. ekk. i swallowes blood. scary. the blood filled up 3 think wads of tissue paper. sigh.
@ 8:30 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

stupid mosquitoes. i got 'disfigured' because of them.

as i was mostly well-covered, the mosquito attacked my face. my legs were under the blankets. hands were covered by the sweater. so it goes for the face. it bite me! between the eyes, under the left eyes, above the right eyes and at the side of my face. it even bite me on my right wrist cause it go exposed later on. man. the mosquito is desperate. i mean how much blood can u draw from the face?!

haha. my sis mum and i didnt catch it though. and my ancient electric mosquito coil burner is not working. damn. so its probably somewhere in my room or house. damn. haha. ANYWAY, i ended up with a 'swollen' face. i look as if someone have punched me under my left eye. urgh! and as if i got two super huge pimple. damnit. and i have to go church tomorrow in a dress. great! i will definitely end up looking suckier than expected.

oh well. just read finish "Shopaholic Ties the Knot" (at long last!). haha. and it was really nice. haha. Luke Brandon got the character i like in my future husband. hahaha. you should read their pre-nuptial agreement at the end. i just end up laughing!!

off to read my two other book. (and more scratching i predict)...
@ 5:50 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

frosted chocolate malt
my favorite ice cream! yummy-licious!!!

look at this!!

its ben adams!! he look so much nicer now!! oh man. boy crazy boy crazy boy crazy! hhaha. nah. but man...he looks cuter. haha.

@ 1:13 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

lots to say. but lets settle today first.

the morning
was spent sleeping. woke up at 12.00 noon. half-recharged. weird. cause its like i am sleeping more than school days but i still feel tired. then woke up and read "Shopaholic tie the knot" for awhile before changing to go out with the family gang at 1.30pm.

the lunch
we went to orchard. my sister who just passed her driving test drove. it was cool but jittery. my dad was like, "flash your signals now" , "go slower" , "turn now" etc etc. me? i was just laughing all the way with my mum at the back of the car. went to crystal jade at taka but it was close. went to jack's place and it was close. in the end, we went to swensen at the crown prince hotel(<--think that was the hotel name). haha. i had fish and chips. and i ate "Frosted Chocolate Malt" which my mum thought was too sweet. but for a choco-holic like me it tasted just fine. lesson learnt: never bring the 'old' folks to eat ice cream cause they will nag at you for eating all these sweet stuff. and i realise, out of the 3 siblings, i am the one with the sweet tooth.

Singapore River Hongbao 2005
after lunch, the parents decided to go to the " The Istana" but when we drove pass it, the queue was super long so they decided to go to "River Hongbao 2005". me? i was happily sitting at the back of the car reading my book, feeling rather full and sleepy, and giddy. so when i heard we are going there and probably squeezing with millions of people, i sulked. and the folks just left me to walk behind. went to millenia walk. and the place was so windy and beautiful. the family took pictures but i sulked and didnt. regretting it now. reached the place and saw alot of chinese stuff. read my prediction for this year and it looks grim. career, love, money all cant make it. sad. it said its a year filled with bad karma. must do more community service. in the end, i was fine. quite enjoyed it. and we were laughing when we were walking back cause a string of cars got summons cause they were parking illegally and people are running pass us to 'save' their cars. haha.

the car ride
we drove around pointlessly after that. my sister got honked by a car. my dad was screaming at her. and she was screaming back. but it ws not her fault. the car didnt wait for her to turn and just cut her. almost banging into her. everyone was screaming. in the end, i have to screamed, " its over! let it pass" in chinese of course. and my mum cut in too. and everything was okie. in the end, we drove to the airport. changed driver and drove to J8 to have our light dinner.

Sakae Sushi
we wanted some chinese food. but all were closed. so in the end we had to settle for sakae sushi-the almost chinese food. the parents and me order udon with seaweed while my brother had ramen and my sis had salmon don. it was rather cool, we ordered through the computer!! haha. but then, 15 mins after we ordered, this girl came and told us we have to wait 45minutes before the udon and ramen will be ready so we cancelled our order. in the end, i had chawanmushi and tomago(tomogo? no idea. the egg thing). my parents and brother just ate random sushi that passed by. my sis was waiting for her fried tofu and salmom don. we waited and waited. the tofu came. the chawanmushi came. but the salmon don never. we paged for help like 3 times. and no one came. we caught passing waiters but all they said was wait. they didnt even apologise!! so, we just paid and left. jeez, the service sucks. serious. first, they just screamed at us to follow them. showed us to our seat. before we even reach our seats, the person was gone. when we asked for help, no one came. when the food was delayed, no one came and explain or apologise! and when we paid, the cashier just bite at us and talked to a fellow colleague. i dun think i will ever go back there. oh yah..in between waiting and eating, i was sms-ing frantically with mag heli snoopy charissa weilin ber about important issues. haha*winks*

to the school!
haha. after dinner, we drove home. but as my dad parked the car, i suggested that we drove to school. yes, to nanyang junior college. why? so that my sister can practice! she will drive me to school eventually! haha. so, we did. but then, we stopped at a sloppy stretch of road in the private estate area and let my sister tried stopping and moving on. ahaha. she almost didnt make it!! she almost cause the car to roll all the way down the slope. my bro mum and i was screaming!! and laughing..haha. but in the end she made it. haha. and the ride home was smooth.

home at last
reached home around ten. rest abit. took off contact lens. bathe. now sitting here typing away. dad watching "Romance of the Three Kingdoms" which is quite nice. but seriously, it is just too confusing for me. so many names to remember and so many war tactics to remember. haha. probably going to runaway to read later. cause i dun think i will eb able to sleep considering the amount of green tea i drank.

random thoughts about...family
its like once in a year where all 5 of us get to be together. cause my dad will always be working. my sister too. so i think thats why we kinda appreciate this period of time and push off all other events. and its really nice. eating together. laughing in the car. haha. and its rarely that you can see 5 of us awake at home. cause my mum will be asleep by 10. but my father and sis comes home at 12 sometimes even later. so i will most probably be asleep if they come home late. so, yeah, its nice.

random thoughts about...weddings
hhaha. cant blame me. i am reading a wedding-y book. this is like the second time i read in books that most groom refuse to help in planning the wedding. all the do is appear at the wedding and during the choosing of gown and suit. seriously, if my husband do that in the future, i will kick him. if he choose not to care, i will force 'feed' him with information. or i will not care too. which wont be nice. hahah. watch out my future husband!

random thoughts about...dragon-boating
while we were standing at the kallang river just now, i told the parents about the crazy idea nandwani is having about bringing the class to learn dragonboating. you know what my dad and mum reaction was? "in this kind of water?!" and i nodded. they went "you cant even swim! cannot lah! very dangerous!" and i said my teacher say it doesnt matter. and this is the best one. " i wont sign the consent form de!" hahaha. my parents are worried. cause seriously, they know how scared i am when i am around water. cause i cried when they tried to force me into a sampan when we were in indonesia touring. and i almost fell into the sea when the corner of the 'port' (mad of poor wood material) flipped up. haha. they sorta got protective of me after that.

random thoughts about...childhood
the folks were just telling me and the siblings about how bad the business was these days. and how the shop wasnt doing well. and then my mum was telling me when i was 2 months + old (after i was just born) the shop was so busy that they had to left me in the pram beside the counter while they tend to customers!! oh my. i must be really guai then. haha. i was 2mths old and i didnt cry?! hhaa.

okie, the show ended. and i am ending too. its rather long huh? haha.

@ 11:45 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

fuck. what the hell. its the eve of lunar new year and i think i got molested.

i was standing with my dad and brother at the lift just now. then this indian guy was also standing there. my back was facing him. suddenly he banged into me. and i felt a touch on my butt. i m not sure whether he did it on purpose or something. i wasnt sure if my butt was touched.

but as i went into the lift and the guy walked away, i was +ve. because how could he wait at the lift and not take it? fuck. i told my parents. they didnt react until i slammed the door. fuck him. but i hope my parents especially my dad wont get into trouble with him. i will let this pass. i hope theres no problem.

but, i m not just to let him get away. everytime he try to pee, he will find it hard to piss. everytime he try to fuck, he wont be able to get his penis to stand straight. may he drink himself to death. may he have a rotten sex life. fuck off.

@ 10:16 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

charissa said, " self praise is no praise"

and weilin said, " no praise is dont praise at all"

we started laughing. hard. haha.

@ 11:03 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

woo woo. forgot to mention. i fell in love with a bracelet from the biz club store!! too bad its 21 bucks.

and i am starting to like the valentine day gift i bought for someone else more and more. ahaha


@ 9:29 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

urgh. fell asleep for like 1/2 an hour and i got bitten by some thingy.

all my sis fault. after everyone has cleared up their mess and the house is spick and span, she starts cleaning.-_-" so, she took down a ancient box that has been on top of her cupboard since forever today. and all the dust came flying down. i bet there's where the thingy came from.

and she want to clean some more tomorrow. so i have to wait till tomorrow before i can change the bedsheets.

so, pray hard that i wont get bitten again. itchy itchy.

@ 9:14 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

okie, the way Luke proposed to Rebecca was sweet. really really nice.

i should stop reading this kinda book cause my future boyfriend can just die. ahah.

i m told i have high standards for guys(?!) twice in a day. do i?

@ 11:02 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i just want to shrink into a corner and be left alone.

and watch the world pass me by.

@ 9:42 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

mood swing mood swing.

how is it fair that people get to upload their pictures from their phone and not me?

and i have to go around deleting my pictures to take more.

@ 1:22 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

whee.went out with san cyn today. i finnaly saw san and cyn! i miss them so much. haha.

we went to IKEA! walked around woo-ing and ahh-ing at the sofas and the kitchens. seriously the kitchens are all so cheerful or sleek. i love a particularly sleek kitchen~! we even sat down at one of the kitchen's table top and started talking about 'desperate housewives'. haha.

had lunch at the cafe(?!). they had meatballs i had chocolate mousse and milk! yummy-licious. the chocolate boost my mood and soothe my crams. hehe. heaven!

then we walked to some complex. no idea whats the name. but theres lots and lots of guys there. rather scary you know. cause we are like the only three girls there. i think the ratio of guys to girls is probably 1:30. haha. cynthia got a nice bag!! make me feel like buying too. haha. but i tahan. then geksan left. bleh.

ahaha. so me and cyn braved ourselves and started shopping. and boy, did we find good stuff. cyn bought a wrap around skirt! which is very very nice! i want!! but my mum will probably kill me cause it was short(will explain) and a tee! haha. then we went to this shop which sell really really cheap stuff. a tee that can be found in Ice Lemon Tea cost only 10bucks etc. oh my! i bought a halter top for 12.90. and a B.U.M skirt for 19.00. haha. not a bad deal huh?!

anyway, i was feeling rather good. until i came home. my mum thought my halter top was rather revealing. and my skirt was short. which is not. my skirt was like the length of my school skirt! my halter top was not revealing. it shows my back like this.

the black part being the top. and the beige part is my back right below the neck.

my mum is pestering me to go wear a jacket over it. jeez. i still need a top for new year. gonna get that one from blossom. snoopy and gang go with me k?!

tired as hell. but tutorial 5 is beckoning me. and i just touched the com! its not even 5mins yet! there goes tutorial 5 again. geez(jeez?). feeling like cindergeek-the geeky version of cinderella again.

@ 11:44 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

oh!! my sis passed her driving test. hurrah! finally! this is only her 2nd attempt. now she can drive me around town on weekends. hopefully.

@ 10:56 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

jeez. nandwani suggested that our class go for dragonboating. i think i will die. dont tell me its not scary ect ec. cause i am seriously afraid of large pool of water.

try taking the bloody 2-3hr long ride across a super big river to tanan negara(<--forgot how to spell) with nothing beside you except endless forest and buffaloes in a simple simple super low sampan. with all your heavy heavy bags piled up in front. and the fact that you are weraing a lousy life vest and the only one who cant swim. everytime a boat pass, your boat will shake. scary.

not scary enough? try the rapid boat ride. i forgot the name. but anyway, they will drive the boat over small rapids really really fast. it feels like your boat is gonna topple over anytime. the guys are spraying water into the lousy sampan. and some poor guy is trying his best to scoop the water out of the boat. and then a super fast and high quality boat came and crash into ur boat. and ur boat is short of sinking cause it went under the boat. and you are nowhere near land with many many rapids and strong current. and you cant swim. and ur life vest was torn and tattered.

then they arrive at a deep end near a small beach. its really small. its like smaller than ny's grandstand. and they ask you to jump into the water. the waves were big. the 'port' where the sampans are porting at is swaying with the waves. i freaked out. it surprise me how i manage to get back in. but i remember ling juan kexin yuting and gary low(ithink) jumped into the shallow side of the water and all got blue black on their legs. the water was chest deep but if you jump in, you will hurt yourself. and i was crying (yes, crying) and laughing at the same time.

so, enough reason to fear large pool of water?

no? how about having a recurring dreams of going on a holiday with your family and you guys ended up having to brave the stormy sea to get home? and it was really scary cause everyone was holding really tightly and someone fell overboard. everyone's screaming and you were scared out of wits and constantly checking the number of people onboard. i always wake up breathless.

@ 10:39 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

guess what? i am sick again. woke u at 5am today with a stomachache. it was as if someone is inside my stomach pinching me. it was so painful that i woke up. and i was groaning abit. i was in a fetues position until my dad woke me up.

wanted to skip school but thought about the GP block test and i had to go. cause, i dont want to sit alone outside staff room and do. the i practically suffered and stone throughout the day. luckily the day was short and i had a 'third instinct' about GP (you guys shld know what i am saying).

anyway, even though i was sick, i still went to orchard cause i was desperately dying to buy more storybooks. so while the gang ate, i was stoning. while they design the neoprints, i lean against the wall and stoned. but i think i came alive when i reach borders. i found all the books i was looking for. but i can only buy 2. so ber helped me narrowed it down to 3 and i called sivan who randomly picked 2 numbers. so in the end, i bought the princess bride and agent provocateur. hahah. spent 22 bucks. but it shld be more de but i used the gift card heli gave! thanks! but the lady asked me to key in my pin number twice. weird. i hope she was honest and i only paid ONCE.

so now i have 3 books with me (including shopaholic). haha. do u think i will get any homework done?

@ 4:55 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

my gosh. just saw something on channel 1.

do u know what the china people do to get the animals skin? they pluck it out alive. and then they slam the animal against the floor. the animals are not even dead. can u imagine someone plucking out your hair?

imagine the pain.

@ 1:02 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

my right eye is bloody itchy. think tomorrow cannot wear contact lens le. then okie, i m wearing specs to orchard. haha.

today was rather a good day. haha. during pe, we were divided into our new game group. i am in NETBAL! which is kinda fun. but, its still in the beginning so, lets not speak too early shall we? anyway, heli eileen amelia are in the game. and so is my primary school friend(pohsi) and secondary school friend(junni)..and i was kinda awkward? but theres alot of smiling. haha.

anyway, my dad came late this morning. and i went down early. i went down at 7. and he came at 7.10. i was fretting that i will be late. and VERY late cause the traffic at the junction was really bad. i almost cried. i was screaming at my dad in the car. i know its not his fault that he is late and i should be glad that he is driving me to school and as FAST as he can(i swear i almost died when he zoom past the traffic lights and turned out the opposite way to get me there faster). but, i guess i screamed cause i was feeling so helpless while waiting.

and, i worried that he will be thinking abt me being late so much that he wont concentrate on driving. so i was relating all this to heli and gang. thankfully, he arrived home safely. phew. i wanted to apologize, but i chicken out the last minute. but i swear i will be nice to him.

apparently, my sis and my dad quarrelled last night in my room. but i didnt even noe-_-" casue i was sleeping like a pig. my goodness. thats always the case recently. i sleep like a pig at night. not knowing what happen. gosh. i think if got fire i sure the last one to know. *sigh*

better go. the channel 1 got nice show!!!

@ 11:49 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i have to admit. i admire people who actually takes mc when they are sick.

i seriously cant do it. everytime i get an MC, i will still go to school. why? cause, i will think of all the assignments i will miss, all the lectures notes i must copy, and that spring geo test might just spring up and i will miss it and have to do it alone outside the staff room. geez. haha.

yeah. so, i always go to school no matter how bloody sick i am or how much i want to sleep. *sigh* i want that MC i sooooo deserve! running a slight fever again. dun remind me.

seriously, i think my body hates me. everytime i want to go see the doctor, she will be all fit and healthy. and when i reach home, i will fall sick. sick sick sick. sigh. better go. i need sleep badly. if not this fever wont run away.

@ 11:17 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

woo..thought i didnt have homework. econs!! haha. aye..i am lazy. see how later ba.

cracking my brains for valentine's day gift. damn. since some of them are reading my blog, i cant reveal it. but anyway..i dont think i can get the presents ready in time!!! gosh. headache ah..

no idea why i am actually starting to take note of valentine's day. normally, i will just treat it as another day. but then, its like a EXTRA friendship day to me now. and its time i give something back to all those who has beeen giving me pressies since sec one. haha..

right. i need to part with my money to get the pressies. get used to girl!

haha.

@ 9:17 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

So proud of myself. Even though i was tired, i accompanied my mum in my dad shop till 3.30pm. and when i came home, i didn’t rest, i dug out all my worksheets and filed them.

Ahhh.... ....

now its some much more organized. Took me a jolly good 2.5 hrs. i am dead beat. Having a fever again. And the achy feeling again. Sore throat still there as usual.

i seriously cant take anymore things than homework.

My mum went to the doctor together. She have to go back two weeks later to see if her swollen arm is better already or not?

I think my English sucks. But I am too tired. The thoughts are just coming word by word.

Have thoughts of quitting PSL alumni.

@ 5:58 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

here is what i think. maybe its because i was never good in anything in primary school other than chinese. and when i got into deyi, my so-called 'best friends' then sort of condemned the school. i was so bloody determined to make it. and i did. my maths became one of my best subject and my chinese too. so i was happy.

until they rendered chinese as a non-university requirement and placed more emphasis on cca and gp. i fret. cause my english sucks. and i have no cca now. and i am thus dependent on my maths to get an A. to get the A to hopefully impress the university 'screeners' that even though i am from arts, my maths was good and my other subjects are fairly okie.

and, do you know how a king is always afraid that someone will still their throne? well, thats how i am feeling now. even if its not true. but i got that pricky feeling that everyone is fighting to get an A. they cant wait to see me fall from my 'A' throne. cant wait to see me shut up during maths tutorial. yeah, so that explains my touchy just now.

i haev to say sorry to ber heli mag yuting weilin and charissa. cause all i ever do these days is to flare at them for no apparent reason or for minor stuff. and they have to bear with my crap. i seriously cant relax you know. when i see them playing and joking around, i was like "err..arent they worried? hello! its time to get SERIOUS!". yeah. but sometimes, i dont think that way. but i can tell you the former is occuring more and more.

and i have to say i am sorry. cause i think i have lost something after i got that 'A' for maths and my merit edusave bursary award. i think i became cocky. sometimes when you guys ask me maths, i might have been a tad impatient and rude and agressive. i am sorry.

and i have a fear. everytime you guys ask me maths question. i m afraid that i may teach you all the wrong stuff or the wrong way of looking at the question. and sometimes, when you guys ask me question and i explained but you still dont understand and ended up more blur. i get guilty. i get worrried. and i will feel so helpless.

seriously, something is re-occuring again. i think i am going through 'depression'. thats what miss lau called it. i can tell you, i can cry but dont know the reason why. i am having this sore throat and flu for what seem like forever. and i m starting to question my sainity. maybe the illness is not actually there.

anyway better go. the bloody radio keep repeating the commercial about AIDS and the usage of condom. urgh.

@ 11:22 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

this is what i wrote during maths lecture:

i may have gotten an A for maths during promos but that doesnt mean that i am god.. that doesnt mean that i wont make mistake or i understand every fucking thing the 'very-easy' maths lecturer is making me copy down.

i make mistakes too. dont think that whatever i write or say is correct and scramble to change your answer. and when you got it worng, you guys go and make a big hoo-ha abt it. even if its jokingly cause when i get a maths question wrong, i am already fretting about how i dont understand. how can i get it wrong? am i not paying enough attention?

i am scared that if my maths start to disintegrate, i wont have any srong subject anymore. and i have been making alot of mistakes recently. my tutorials look clean and nice, but i only get the answer correct after i make a page full of mistakes. how can i not worry?

so, please stop assuming that everything i do is the correct method, correct answer. challenge me if you think i am wrong cause i may just be wrong.

and i let heli and weilin see. didnt manage to pass it to charissa and yuting. cause the other maths lecturer was hovering around. anyway, weiling was very nice. even though she did type the message into my phone painfully slow. she told me she was under the same situation when she did well for econs in the middies and all the expectations were piled on top of her and she was so determined to score well in every single assignment cause she was expected to be good. and heli messaged me too.

it was nice. refer to above entry for my refelction.

@ 11:14 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

You like the sweet, shy type.

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@ 6:13 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.