Thursday, December 30, 2004
i can just imagine nandwani's face and that tone of his voice.
"What are you trying to do, Huishan? I dont know what you are doing?" he will use that tone and give me that look.
and seriously i have no idea what i am doing! i dont know. i really dont know.
WHAT ARE THE ECONOMIC REASONS FOR THE CAUSE OF GLOBAL WARMING?
i just crap out 357words. i hope they make sense.
snoopy and gang. help!!!!!!! before i go bonkie.
i may just grab all of your report and copy them when school reopens.
@
7:46 PM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
my brian is filled with homework. as the day till school reopens draw closer, they start to cloud my brain.
i have finished maths. of course i have finish them. i love doing maths.
but, i still have econs. econs essays and report. i think i have forgotten how to write an econs essay! how? help?! i think from tomorrow onwards, i will be choi-ing econs. cause, it is really irritating when u r doing quiz and the homework and nandwani face starts to filter in like some ghost. it makes the story seem so dull. so i shall at least do some econs tml.
give me 2 more maths assignment anyday.
@
1:45 AM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
-Your crush suddenly asks you out?
you serious?
-You walk into an elevator and see a couplemaking out?
i will run and hide, laugh and sms my friends abt it.
-Your parents had another baby?
i will love the baby to death! haha. babies are cute.
-You're trapped in a building about to explode?
RUN! what do you think i m? stupid?
-You were granted one wish?
that i can have many more wishes.
-A guy (or girl if you're a guy) suddenly kissed you?
pull away and smack him HARD.
-You won a date with your celeb crush?
muahaha. i wun go. cause i will be too embarrassed to talk.
-You were given a blue car?
sell it! i cant drive and i can use the cash.
-You win a million dollars?
buy myself a laptop. give the rest to my parents. or kp it for my uni fees.
-Someone gives you flowers?
smell it. thank them. and then i wont have any idea what to do with it.
-You receive a love letter in your locker?
open it, see who is the sender. if i dun like the person, i will dump it.
-You fail your exam?
choi. i m a hardworking girl. and hard work pays.
-You get first in class?
feel awkward but secretly damn proud of yourself.
-Your computer crashes?
GO BONKIE.
-Your best friend betrays you?
ignore her for the rest of my life.
-You had to choose between your boyfriend(girlfriend if you're a guy) and your best friend?
geez. i take both. bluff them that i had break off all ties from the other.
or, make them choose between losing me or keeping me. ha.
@
2:07 PM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
something for you guys to laugh about. dont laugh!
i have a fear of sitting on chocolate. haha.
just now, i was enjoying the swiss dark chocolate my cousin bought for me.
then a piece fell on my sofa. and i sat on it. and it melted.
my sofa got stained and so did my shorts!!
haha. now i have a fear.
whee..i m a happy happy girl. i got a bar of dark chocolate.
a torbolone bar. a box of white fudge oreo. a packet of assortment chocolate.
a bar of dark chocolate(have i mention it?). and my sis gave me 2 small square of dark chocolate (which i finished within 10 minutes).
huishan is a happy happy girl. more chocolates please!
@
11:44 PM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
feel so helpless. seeing how wrecked the other countries are after the earthquake and tsunami.
whats the use of knowing why and how earthquake and tsunamis happen?
i cant help those poor people. its so sad.
i wish i can fly over and help. but i cant. even if i can, i wont know how to.
so all i can do is pray that those missing people will be found
ALIVE.
and those who passed away, may they rest in peace.
@
7:50 PM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
Monday, December 27, 2004
i have decided to go for braces. its time i straighten those teeth.
somehow, they are starting to bother me alot.
but, first, i have to study hard. get through A's. work awhile then pay for them myself.
so thats about another year or so.
sigh. by the time its off, i will be like 21? oh gosh.
@
9:27 PM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
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8:33 PM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
Sunday, December 26, 2004
in the past:
i was outgoing, spontaneous, cuckoo, crazy, i never bother with how i look and can talk until ur ears will drop off . but i have a fear of calling people. i have no cordless phone. friends call me. my life was filled with cca. i love it.
now:
my life is empty. i m in fact cca-less now.
i m vain. i m no longer spontaneous. i m not outgoing.
i m quiet. getting very quiet.
start a conversation with me, after 2 sentences, it will be dead.
i m over my fear of calling. i have a cordless phone.
no friends call me. i want to call but i have no idea who to.
because i feel awkward abt the conversation.
i hate it. why am i so hard to understand? i thought i finally know who i was. i was getting comfy with all my cousins.
then, i change all over again. i dont even know myself. it always happen.
just now at family gathering, i was just sitting there. i didnt smile while taking photo. didnt laugh with my cousins. 2 of my cousins keep trying to include me. but, i disappoint them(?). i love my cousins to bits.
i hate this. everytime i think i get me. i lost myself again. i dont need anyone. i just need someone who will help me understand me. or better yet. understand me for me.
@
1:57 AM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
Friday, December 24, 2004
i just love inuyasha soo soo much.
and bloody arts central is going to end it once the new year starts. shucks.
anywya, what inuyasha said to kikyo today was super sweet. even though kikyo hates him.
" u may hate me but never a day went without me thinking of you"
"u may hate me but the feeling is not mutual"
thats kikyo and inuyasha. that particular moment was sweet.
@
11:49 PM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
Thursday, December 23, 2004
when i was in primary six, me and 2 other 'best' friends had this huge crush on this classmate of mine. i have no idea why though.
now, the crush wont leave me alone. he keeps talking to me on msn. and bringing up stupid primary six things. like when i use to boast about how i play DDR at home and etc. it was really embarassing. and he is talking like i still have a crush on him. and that i will melt when i see him again. puh-lease. *rolls eyes*
hadnt he heard of the words "MOVE ON"?! oh my gosh. and last year, he even gave me a birthday present that is totally stupid. an ahgong and ah ma display item. puh lease. its those kinda gift you will give to those old happily married couple. he is talking as if he is god's greatest creation. urgh. i cant phrase how i feel and what he is doing. eww. wont he just leave me alone?!
i think only ber knows abit about what i am talking about.
and, i have no idea why i use to have a crush on him. he is SO not my type.
*drools at thought of josh hartnett*
@
10:41 PM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
here we go again.
and quizilla is down. haha.
@
12:32 AM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
woke up with fever today. felt like i just ran 2.4km for two times! legs were aching. hands were aching. even my butt aches. haha. and my throat felt like shite. i cant talk at all. swallowing salivia hurts like hell.
told mum i had a fever she didnt believe. thank MOE for the thermometer. i took my temperature and showed it to my mum. it was 39! well, i made it stop at 39, it was still going up. scary. haha. then she made me took panadol cold. ate and fell asleep again.
when i woke up, the fever was still there. so she told me to go downstairs at 3 to visit the doctor. haha. when i went to the doctor, the fever was gone. pft. haha. and i just got medicine for my flu and throat. i still feel sick. haha.
my fever temperature just reached a new high..last time the highest was 38. i think it did went beyond that at night, but i stopped taking my temp after i saw it keep rising and my parents were all giving me that worried look. so made it stopped at 38. haha. 39! oh my.
but having fever is kinda cool. bleh.
@
7:48 PM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
oh fuck(please excuse the language). i shouldnt have ate. my stomach is killing me.
when did the flu package starts coming with stomachaches. i m giddy too. and i still havent remove my contact lens.
i m dying. here comes the pain again. HELP!!
@
8:50 PM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
i m sick. i m tired. i m grumpy. i m having pms. all at the same time. it sucks to be me right now.
haha. but i am glad that i FINALLY got my darling com back. i went without internet, quizzes, blogging for 6 days. arent you guys proud of me? haha.
i feel sucky. i want my pc-link cable. i got tons of pictures to upload! those bloody men at the hp shop still havent called. should i just buy the cable somewhere else? i didnt pay them or anything, they just ordered it for me. damn.
haha. oh, new chocolate to try out! its nestle's double chocolate! its my new favorite. i like their motto/slogan/whatever. it is "chocolate matters". and they are damn right. especially when you are me right now. haha.
i have a mucus tap. eww....
@
8:06 PM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
i just realise something. girls in quizzes forgive their boyfriend super ultra easily. especially when the boys betrayed them or the boy didnt trust them. weird. the longest time that a girl have been angry with her boyfriend was 2 weeks.
is it me or is it short?
if it was me, i would give him hell before i forgive him. but if he betrayed me, i never want to see him again. and yes, i will give him hell too. haha.
sad. girls in quizzes are just too nice?!
p/s: my brother is still getting on my nerves. i just flick an ant off my fingers and he went, "WHAT WHAT?!"
hello?! i didnt even make a sound. fucker.
@
2:54 PM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
i need to get out of the house and get some girls company!
why?
my brother is seriously getting on my nerves. ALOT. he is acting cute 24/7. he purposely hum the music of his game loudly. ask me dumb qns. keep telling me things i dont give a damn about. its driving me up the wall.
thank god for the alumni meeting on sunday. a little get away. hey guys, shall we go out before that? maybe walk around abit then go meeting? i cant find any shopping partners. poor me.
shopping anyone? though its kinda 'difficult' to shop with me. haha.
@
11:24 PM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
Sunday, December 12, 2004
who says visting the gandparents can be a boring affair?
if you are the one, you obviously havent been to seen my grandpa.
he's 84 this year. refuse to step out of his house cause he feels paiseh to be seen with a walking stick. keeps thinking he is gonna be gone very soon. touch wood.
he is super healthy! can chat none stop. and i think he is funny. cute if u allow me to say so. haha. and you shld see him and my grandma. haha. for example, just now, my grandpa was telling me that he used to drive a taxi and etc. then right after that, my grandma said to me softly in chinese,"ta bu hui jia de lah(he cant drive)!". haha. it doesnt sound funny here. but you shld be there.
i love my grandparents. they are my only grandparents left. and i must say, i m guilty. i havent been to see them often. in fact, this is the first time i went to their house on my own with my parents. and to think we live the closest to them out of the cousins. haha. okie, i promise i will go there at least once a month. haha.
we got chase away by my grandpa after 1/2 hour today. the reason? he wants to read the newspaper. haha. cute. i will put up a pic of him once my cable arrives.
i m bless with a family who is close.
@
4:12 PM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
Saturday, December 11, 2004
Tilt ya head back
by Nelly and Christina Aguilera
Yeah, that's tight (uh)
Check it, drop the drum right (hmmm..yeah)
Put some horns in it..woo! (that's right)
Do it again (yeah yeah, ha oooh oooh alright, ha)
Give her what she want, give her what she want uh [repeat]
[Verse 1: Christina]
I see you lookin', uh
like what you see?
Boy, now don't be shy
and look at her face in opportunity
[Nelly (Christina):]
She's right ya know (uh uh), she's right (ah)
Man, she's right ya know (uh uh), she's right (ow!)
You stand there looking at me (at me)
I stand herre looking at you girl (at you boy)
You know exactly what's on my mind (yeah yeah)
*[Christina (Nelly):]
It's just so easy to see (to see)
You came here looking for me (but uh uh)
But I don't do that type of thing all the time, yeah
(You want me to)
Come here boyI got a little something for ya
(You got a little bit, can I get a little bit? yeah yeah)
And I don't know
(I don't know what it is but I just want to get to know ya, alright alright..yeah yeah)
**[Chorus:]
I need to daaaaaance
(Tilt ya head back, take ya head back)
All night
(Bring it back up slowly, that's right)
I need ya to daaaaaance
(Tilt ya head back, take ya head back)
All night
(Bring it back up slowly, that's right)
[Verse 2: Nelly]
Now situations, girl
They often change
Sometimes for the good
Sometimes for the bad, but who's to blame?
[Christina (Nelly):]
He's right ya know (uh uh)
he's right (oh babygirl)
He's right ya know (uh uh)
he's right, OW!
***[Nelly (Christina):]
You stand there looking at me (at me)
I stand herre looking at you girl (at you boy)
You know exactly what's on my mind (yeah yeah)
Repeat * and **
(Everybody says)
Hustle for me, hustle (hustle)
Hustle for me, hustle (hustle)
Hustle for me, hustle (hustle)
Hustle for me, yeah
[Verse 3: Christina]
So, you got some nerve thinking you're so
I got a little bit of that
A little bit of this
A little bit of back
With a little bit of *beep*
Repeat *** ,*, **
Hey!
(Give her what she want, give her what she want uh)
[repeat 'til end]
oooohooooh, oooh yea, ha!
Oh Nelly!Nelly, Nelly, you make me so sweaty
babyyeayeayeayeayeayea OH!
@
1:59 AM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
Friday, December 10, 2004
dont promise me things if you are not going to do it.
if you dont feel like it, just tell me.
-
i miss my old self. but no matter how i try, i cant find it.
and it scares me.
cause when i change, will my perspective of my secondary friends change?
sometimes, i cant stand the way they act.
but it icks me when i find myself thinking that way. cause i love them. really.
-
i feel distant from the people i was closest to in the past.
people who are my close friends.
pride, i hate you. i miss them. alot. alot.
but i dont want to be the gundu organising stuff.
-
people around me have best friends. my cousin have 2.
me? zero.
when will i find mine?
someone whom i can relate everything to. and vice versa.
someone whom will understand what i am feeling now.
-
i wanna cry. really. but everytime i want to.
i just stare back at my maths. and i pushed on.
but, i think i will when i am left alone with my thoughts again.
after seventeen years of life, my life is this.
empty. nothing.
-
and frankly, i am
NOT looking forward to my birthday.
cause i hate the way i spent this year.
if i am like that now, what will i be when i cross the line?
-
maybe what i want is just the feeling of protection.
the feeling of secure-ness.
will i find it. maybe i never will.
@
1:25 AM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
Thursday, December 09, 2004
i m glad i went today. actually was quite worried abt my new phone because it cant bloody download the pictures into the com. in the end, i realise, the person gave me the wrong cable. now, i have to wait for my cable to come. and my mum is very nice! she went with me back to the shop. *phew*
anyway, today was
FUN FUN FUN!there is no other words to describe it. met up with cynthia, mabel, geksan, sivan and ranjan. well, sharon was there. but, hey, even though we are primary school friends, we dont know each other. nada. zip. so anyway, i wanna say..
THANKS RANJAN! haha. he came despite Susanto, the very old uncle, tempted him to go out with him. haha.
it was fun talking to them. about anything and everything! it was really fun! and we are going to
SEOUL GARDEN for ranjan's birthday on the 31st. well, hopefully. hahaha. oh well, thanks guys! lets do it more often.
anyway, this is to Ranjan and anyone else who have any doubts.
I DO NOT LIKE KELVIN LIM! yes, i do talk about him rather often. but thats because he is always kajiao-ing me and etc. u know, we chat online! i dont even do that with sivan! haha. and its not possible between us. why?
1) He is not interested.
2) I m not interested.
there, isnt that reason enough. ha. stupid ranjan. and stupid kelvin. stop saying, "go to your ranjan lah.." i know both of you like each other. dont use me as an excuse. =P bleh.
@
9:00 PM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
my brother wont admit it. he is replaying Final Fantasy 9. then as you all may know, yours truly never NEVER completes the game. so we were arguing how far i got in the game last time. i was sure i was at the last part. but then, he said i was still somewhere in the middle. which is seriously untrue.
then i asked him why he say i m still in the middle. he said its because my characters were all poorly equiped with low levels. so its impossible. but, i told him, i alwya splay game with strategy not brute strength. haha
and you know what i said. i told him in Final Fantasy8 i killed a GF using my strategy while he cant by using brute force(ie good weapoms and high levels). and he just shut up. haha. take that! =P
@
11:38 PM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
Monday, December 06, 2004
Karma by Alicia Keys
Weren't you the one who said that you don't want me anymore
And how you need your space and give the keys back to your door
And how I cried and tried and tried to make you stay with me
And still you said your love was gone and that I had to leave
Now you're Talking bout a family
Now you're saying I complete your dreams
OhNow you're sayin I'm your everything
You're confusing me
What you saying to me, don't play wit me, don't play wit me
Cause....
[Chorus:]
What goes around comes around
What goes up must come down
Now who's cryin', desirin' to come back to me
What goes around comes around
What goes up must come down
Now who's cryin, desirin', to come back
I remember when I was sittin home alone
Waitin for you til 3 o'clock in the 'morn
And when you came home you'd always have some sorry excuse
Half explaining to me like I'm just some kind of a fool
I sacrificed the things I wanted just to do things for you
But when it's time to do for me
You never come thru
Now you wanna be up under me
Now you have so much to say to me
Now you wanna make time for me
Whatcha doin to me, you're confusin me
Don't play with me don't play with me cause
[Repeat Chorus 2x]
I remember when I was sittin home alone
Waitin for you till 3 o'clock in the 'morn
Night after night knowing something goin on
Wasn't long before I be gone
Lord knows it wasn't easy believe me
Never thought you'd be the one that would deceive me
And never do what you're supposed to do
No need to approach me fool, cuz I'm over you
[Repeat Chorus]
Gotta stop trying to come back to me
[Repeat Chorus]
It's called Karma baby and it goes around
@
11:34 PM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
Sunday, December 05, 2004
i must be getting...sad? boring? ahh..i cant find the right word now. *sigh* but you know, in shows, only those desperate lonely old woman cry while reading a book?
well, thats me. i re-read "P.S. I love you" by Cecelia Ahern. and i cried. not ALL the time. but at times when the main character read all those notes her late husband wrote for her. the times where she remember all those things she and her husband shared. and the way she buy her husband's favorite aftershave and put it everywhere just to remember his smell.
funny though. i dont remember crying when i read the book back in july. its really nice. really. i guess thats what happen when i am free and i let my mind wander. well, holler me if you want to borrow that book.
@
5:46 PM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
Saturday, December 04, 2004
its times like this i wonder if i had made the right choice by going to a junior college.
it will take me at least 4 more years before i graduate. before i start working and stop living off my parents.
and that means 4 more years of financial burden to them. and i cant imagine how they can mange the 3yrs of university fees. it's not cheap. and i m not that smart to obtain a scholarship.
and my dads shop isnt earning. he cant make enough manage to hold the shop. close the shop you say?! he doesnt know any other skills. and thats the only job he had been doing for 45years of his life. i cant stand it. seeing my dad worry. my mum worry. i overheard a conversation they had one morning before my dad went to open the shop. it worries me. i hate to see them worry.
my dad wakes up early and sleep late. my mum juggles home and helping out in my dad shop. everytime i offer to go down and help, my mum just says,"you do your work."
but hey, who am i to complain? i have a happy family. at least my parents dont fight over the money problem. at least my grandparents are healthy. at least i have great cousins. at least if anything happens, i have my family around to support me. i m bless in some kinda way, i guess. and i am thankful.
@
3:49 PM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
Friday, December 03, 2004
to ber, weilin, yuting, charissa/leader lai and snoopy/lucy/heli(seriously, this gal have to many nicks. we need to decide on one!):
thanks for everything today! i seriously dont know how to act just now. i m shocked, happy, touched. but i dont know how to show it?! thanks alot! i love my cuppie! be assured that next time, if my husband wants me to throw it away before he lives with me, i will kick him. and i mean it.
snoopy/lucy/heli, thanks for your gift. its really too much. but, thanks! i love it.
guys, snoopy/lucy/heli birthday is next!*winks*
yuting, can i have the pictures?
@
10:43 PM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
10 minutes in my room and i got 7 mosquito bites. yikes.
stupid sister. open window and dont put back the 'shield'. now the mosquito is in my room. i just killed the one responsible for my bites. it aint pretty. my bro sprayed and i hit. haha. *sinister laughter*
i hope there is no more though.
@
2:39 PM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
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1:01 AM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
Thursday, December 02, 2004
my mum is nagging at me to go shopping for new year clothes!
so i have decided, i am going to buy at least-
- a pair of jeans (i only have 1 pathetic one)
- 2 tops
- maybe a skirt
- new shoes.
haha. shopping anyone? i seriously got no idea where to start looking.
@
11:21 PM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
i must be getting stupid. i cant do a simple maths question. i give up.
@
7:38 PM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
this is what i learn to do with photoshop!
and this
haha. i'm proud.
@
1:41 AM
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wished.hoped.
waited.dashed.
shans 
