i've decided.

i will go get one of those pretty cakes from breadtalk!

ok, as fast as the thought came, it went away. they probably look nicer than their taste.
@ 3:24 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

looking at myself in the mirror, i feel disgusted.

you can tell that there are things bothering me.

i've been sleeping but the dark circles under my eyes are horrible. my whole body aches. i have this constant cravings for sweet stuff. wait. i just want to stuff myself with food, period.

then i stare at myself in the mirror. pale skin. sick skin. tiny tummy. ugly feet. disgusting skin.

welcome back.

whatever.

on the look out. anyone will do. seriously.
@ 12:00 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

the question.
while going through papers from other schools with my tutee, i came across this question:

so! we have this really BORED child called Henry (everybody, say hi to Henry). he started counting with his fingers in the way shown above. therefore, which finger will he count the number 402 with?

someone, pass that poor kid a PSP!

anyways, i was just thinking to myself. if this question was presented to me back in P6, i will most probably COUNT with my fingers till number 402. why? i have plenty of time! since i cant do maths for nuts then.

the tired feeling.
aching body. all over. from top to toe. especially at the neck and thigh areas.

i think i'm burning up >.<

and i have a bump (aka baluku) at the side of my head!! :(

the fyp tutor.
she abandoned us lahs! her reason? her friend helped her to apply for some exclusion thing. so now, she is allow to NOT take any FYP group this year.

URGH URGH TRIPLE URGE!

this is AFTER she told us to do a proposal for her!

*breathes* it's okay. we will look for another tutor with MORE interesting topics.

fyp group, we will get a A+, you hear?! GO GO JIAYOU!(:


AB214 homework.
got back the first homework. wonder if it's graded?

i got the highest ever score i ever obtained (too much ever in one sentence!) for my comms writing task! wowee. wonder if it's counted towards our grades. please please do.

can i say i am interested in communication now? like all kinds?! corporate, social and what have you(:

ohyeah. shitass shall henceforth be the name of that guy sitting with us.

well well well.
91.3FM are playing the same songs as last night! just that they reversed the play sequence. wth.

off to watch a little of my show before i sleep.

i will most prob mug tomorrow after tuition. wish me luck!

when flings starts to look appealing....
@ 1:26 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

totally suay. to the extremes.

was walking home and this maid walked passed me. at the moment of passing each other, she flicked something (no prize for guessing what it is). and it landed right above my lips. not on the lips. but a centimeter above it.

MAJOR eww-ness.

laugh and it's your life i am after. *glares*
@ 7:22 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

BF221 report completed. hopefully it's okay.

tomorrow - FYP report. *sinks/slides down her chair*

i freaking hate report. GIVE ME SOME PRESENTATIONS!

okay, this semester? too many presentations cramped before recess week and too many (much?) reports cramped during recess week.

my english is going down the drain. help help!

oh, did i mention i love SMU's Ngee Ann Kongsi Auditorium? you will never find yourself being the center of attention because your table toppled over and poured all the contents of your pencil case onto the floor. and most importantly, they have POWERPOINT BEHIND EVERY SEAT!!

if i study there, i'll be in heaven *floats*

what's your flavor? tell me what's your flavor?
@ 3:26 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

lunch with juan at that japanese pizza and pasta restaurant (?) at citylink after the aptitude test(:

we shared potato wedges, potato curry pizza and green tea mochi. yummy-licious. 13 bucks each! that woman ate most of the wedges and only 2 slice of the pizza. conversely, i ate most of the pizza and minority of the wedges. of course, the dessert was heavenly (all desserts are nice to me. whees~).

headed home after that. pictures!

there are more pictures in her hp than mine -.-

i cant wait for my fringe to grow! it has to stop irritating my forehead and causing all those pimples to pop! and stop making look like a shaggy dog! BAH!
@ 12:36 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

a list.
things that are very me :

1. my handphone (refer to appendix A)
2. my room (refer to Appendix B)
3. iPod (any kind)
4. MacBook (i use a Fujitsu!)

the aptitude test.
first, NBS people are way competitive. is it me or is it me? they actually circulate and ask everyone to wear formal for the aptitude test. the reason? because SMU people will most definitely wear formal and we shouldn't lose out to them.

let's do it together, "HUH?!?!" yeah. in the end, SMU and NUS people took their aptitude test an hour before us. competitive much?

ANYWAYS! the aptitude test was FUN FUN FUN! it's just 12 minutes! 50 questions. i did 43 questions(: when it was over, i wanted to take it all over again! whees~ i really should have taken SAT back in jc-.- hees~

results will be out next week. wish me luck.

pissed. a little?
i am working on my BF221 report as i am typing this.

i realised that the GUY piled everything on me without telling me. while distributing work, i asked him what my part contains and he said, "oh, just home renovation loans and the other simple maintenance cost for keeping a house."

but this was NOT what he told joanne. i think joanne found that alot of parts are missing and guess what the guy said, "oh, everything in Huishan's part."

WTH.

so now, i am stuck. i have to do the calculation of the mortgage payment as well when i have no idea how the figures come about. joanne told me to just sent what i have to her. but i feel bad if i dont do that part cause she's already doing the car analysis alone!

urgh. what is the guy's contribution to the group again? oh right. he DELEGATES job. *rolls eyes*

MSU (that's Miss Singapore Universe in short)
while waiting for the aptitude test to start, i told juan, "juan! i want to take part in MSU and Star Search. will you vote for me?"

juan: "i will. i will vote until my hp explode ok?"
me: "ok! then when i get the $10 000, i help you pay the bills!"

after which, i keep irritating the woman with the Star Search song.

hahas. okay, total randomness.

Appendix A

Appendix B
picture taken with me climbing on top of table and trying to squeeze as much of the room in as possible.

okies.
back to work.

i may be a young girl. but i know how to have fun.
@ 11:13 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i should be sleeping!

darn. my hands are tired from all the copying i am doing for my tutee. stupid printer! ran out of ink of ALL times.

the storm is rumbling. it sounds like a giant is hungry and his stomach is growling. silly.

kids make my day(: was storming down the stairs when i saw this two really CHUBBY kids playing at the stairways and they said hello to me! and the girl actually went, "so long never see you!" awww~

okies! best be off. wish me luck for my aptitude test tomorrow! and hopefully, i wont get lost in smu-.-

dig in. dig deep.
@ 2:20 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

found this in one of my old post from last year:

if you liken life as a journey, and we are the drivers. Then i must be a really lousy one. Because i keep taking the wrong turn at the same intersection. Hoping that someday somehow the road will lead me to a different destination. but it never do. it always bring me back to the same intersection.

not bad huh? i was soooo "poetic" last time. and i still like my hair back then. a $450 hairdo IS a $450 hairdo. nothing can beat that. opps. people, dont faint!

anyways, this lousy driver is taking a new route. hopefully it will work out.

dig in. dig deep. deserving what you did. dont you know the truth will set you free?
@ 2:54 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

oh right. i like this article from friday's mypaper.

click to enlarge.
totally agree with her. i hate the phrase, "sorry, i'm busy." and i think it's the lousiest excuse in the whole wide whole. no, scrap that. the entire universe.
@ 12:37 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

envy.
i totally envy people who can eat chocolates without pimple emerging like mountains:(

i popped two really small van houlten raisin chocolates into my mouth yesterday and *tada* emerging mountain alert on nose and forehead *cries*

and i just ate a packet of hello panda. chocolate flavor! *prays hard*

large appetite.
lousy mood = big appetite.

what i had for lunch on sunday? personal pan pizza and half a garlic bread :S ok, i gave one-eighth of my pizza to my mum. but it's still alot of food i am consuming.

more than usual at least.

lousy mood.
my dad probably told my mum about what happened on saturday.

that's why she came home twice on saturday and sunday to accompany me. she will sit with me while i space out in front of the tv and then she will fall asleep(:

caught her looking at me while i was on my way to bathe just now. sigh.

i was having dinner and slurping the noodles when this HUGE wave of tiredness crashed on me. i just dropped my fork and stoned:( appetite totally disappeared.

anyways! thanks, abner (otherwise known as mokmok)! for listening to me just now.

and sorry, kelvin. for skipping your 21st. i owe you one treat lah. haa!

i like them tall with money.
@ 12:24 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

this is not how i wanted my term break to start.

i was supposed to meet the girls today, go for kelvin's chalet tomorrow and work on/catch up with all those school stuff that are gathering cobwebs in my cabinet.

but here i am. cried my eyes out at my dad's shop, came home, watched "Scoop" and clicking around on my lappy. not going out or to the chalet. with THAT smell in the air. i'll come to that later.

my mum asked me why i am home when i said i will be out. i didnt dare tell her the truth because she will tell me that i am stupid and i should have listened to her all along. and the water works will start.

but here is the truth. i have woke up. reality slapped me in the face. i don't have any friends.

those girls who i thought were still my friends, are not. what happened today was a tiny incident. but it woke me up. made me realised that no matter how i try, it's never going to be what it was 8 years ago. i'm the one with the wishful thinking. i'm glad i got on that bus and came home instead of going back to them.

i am not going to give a damn about what's going on in their life anymore. yes, i'm going to the extreme.

without the girls, i dont have any friends. but that's okay. i will survive. because why have friends and risk the chance of getting hurt when you will be perfectly fine on your own? besides, if i want to get hurt, there's flings and all out there. at least i know the outcome. at least i get something out of it.

without friends, i'll probably pity myself once in a while. feel sorry for myself once in a while. feel depress once in awhile. but that's nothing is it?

i'll be fine. i just need to cry a while more and that's it. hello to a friend-less me.

i am going to high tail out of this country the moment i have the means.

say hello to the wild side. maybe. perhaps.
@ 6:15 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

project runway season 4 reunion is so funny!

i was laughing and giggling on the train home:D

a must watch! highly recommended!
@ 6:46 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

2nd round of ab213 presentation.
last week was group 1 and group 2 (my group)'s presentation.

this week, it's group 3, 4 and 5 turns.

i am rather angry at the system NOT the people. because all 5 groups will be group on the same level BUT! group 3, 4 and 5 have the advantage of leeching on group 1 and 2's weaknesses and strengths.

and unfortunately, my group's presentation outline and idea was more or less"adopted". am i angry? hell yeah. cause i came up with some "bonus" ideas and points that was not included in the lecture notes! some groups just happily took up the idea and expanded slightly >:|

i wont be surprise if they end up getting better grades than us and group 1 and 2 end up at the bottom.

i am also pissed off witha presenter. what's the function of a Q&A session? to ask questions, right? me being me, i will shoot any questions that is on my mind. and i DONT MINCE my words. no offence or any of the crap.

so, i ASKED some questions. then, this presenter who answered my questions gave me ATTITUDE. i mean, fine! if you want to give me attitude, do it verbally not on your EXPRESSION. but this presenter answered my questions while ROLLING HER FREAKING EYES.

i think she did that because she thinks i am SHOOTING them and CRITICIZING them. or maybe she feels a little "做贼心虚"? But why?! i mean, ok, their presentation outline is EXACTLY the same as mine. but there's variation in their content. so erm, defensive much? feeling guilty, my dear?

thats not all, ok? after the presentation, she returned to her seat which was unfortunately behind mine. so she said down and declared in a very LOUD voice, "我就讨厌那些backstab other group的人。" (in english - i hate people who backstabs other group). WAＨ ＬＡＯ EH!

being me (again!), i replied in my normal voice (which is rather loud), "说大声一点，我听不到!" (in english - please speak louder, i dont think i can hear you).

one word - PISSED! MARAH! OKORIMASU! EN COLIERE! (okay, that's more than one. but technically, it's the same word in different language.)

totally primary school and childish. but put yourself in MY SHOES! if you spent 2 nights coming up with the presentation outline and deciding what should or should not be in it, you don't get any extra points and THEN it was just "pirated" like THAT *snaps finger*. would you be angry?

%@#%*@#&%@#$(@#)$!)$!%#%*

pen-pals? email-pals?
the last pen-pal i had was 10 years ago?

then 2 years back (when i was in JC), i got to know scotts from US. then we started exchanging emails. after awhile, we turned to msn. and now, because of the time lag and our schedule, we can't meet on msn and now rely on email. but the thing is...i havent reply him for the longest time (like 0.5 year o.O) must do that during term break.

recently, i seemed to have acquired another one? but doesn't feel like it. nah. it's not going to be as long as scott.

it's kind of nice to know someone from the another culture or background huh? i mean, in real life, you tend to attract the same kind of people. people who are like you. but in this kind of way, you get to know people with different takes on stuff(:

myspace account.
i am going to delete the account soon, i think.

but FIRST, i am going to retrieve all the blog post from myspace and keep it. anyone have any idea how i can do that in ONE click? *waves for help*

ok, class's over. heading home!

TERM BREAK!! NOT!
@ 3:37 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

working till 6am made me really restless today.

sat down. stood up. stare at my bed. went to the kitchen. came back. repeat-.-

but i managed to complete my options assignment. i still don't like them. *gags* give me futures and forwards anytime. sell a call? sell a put? can't we just stick to buy a call and buy a put? reversing makes my head spin! sell a call = sell an option to buy and therefore your payoff will be this this *faints*

AB214 quiz tomorrow. eeeps! hopefully it will be easy? i finished reading chapter 3. it's 50+ pages long! freaking loooong! but i finished it while watching 案发现场躲猫猫 on tudou. when i'm restless, the best way to settle down is make me multi-task. and the best way to multi-task is to watch brainless taiwan variety shows(:

off to bed, morning class tomorrow.
@ 1:57 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

fourth post for the day. usually happens when i am procrastinating. wahaha.

edison chen came out and apologised. quite nice of him i guess.

channel 5 "cashed" in pretty quickly on lydia sum's death. living with lydia is on in the afternoon again. this like the nth time they have repeated the season! the brother and mother unit were watching it just now.

then again, maybe the season was always at that time slot and i didn't notice? doubt so though. cos i remembered watching something else last week when i was trying to get a nice picture of that little wind mill spinning.

which makes me wonder. when will channel 8 "cash" in on the whole edison saga and start showing his show? or of the ladies in the whole drama?

i mean, there is a whole ethical and moral issue here. i think channel 8 is probably going to hold back for quite some time. just in case, the public accuses them of teaching the wrong "morals" to the teenagers and all the blahblahblah.

so when?

stop and stare.
@ 6:21 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i'm awake. and i am having cramps.

i am so going to pay for all the cold drinks and the late nights as the day goes on. craps.

i dreamt of dinosaurs again :( scary and i couldn't wake up.

okok, brain-dead me is heading off to complete my BF323 and read for my AB214 quiz tomorrow.

it was good when it's all pretend.
@ 4:33 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

it's 5.43am and i am still awake.

AHHHHHHH!!!

i freaking hate options!
@ 5:43 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

taking a break from my BF323 assignment.

rows and rows of figures since 6.30pm.

it irritates the hell out of me. but secretly, i like working with numbers (to a certain extent). maybe it's because i have been working with presentations for way too long. the grass is greener on the other side, no?

the upside of squeezing.
the good thing about squeezing everything before CNY is that i am slightly more free than the normal BAF students. thank goodness my BF221 presentations were before CNY. eeks. i don't know how i'll be coping if they were AFTER cny instead.

but as i was looking at my organizer, my deadlines are still pretty tight. which reminds me that i need to change the deadline for AB213. presentation is in week 10 and it's like week 7 now? *faints*

the mum is at it again.
my mum is again at it. stuffing me with food.

for the second day in a row, the moment i step into the shop, she asked, "want to eat ice-cream?"
heh? hahas. yeah.

she will bring snacks like cheese cake and what-not home and constantly remind me of their presence. she doesn't even mind if i eat them before dinner. ahh.then there's meals. she's putting MORE than my usual amount on my plate these days. and i HAVE to finish it because she'll get mad if i don't. bleh! black-mail! hahas.

currently, i have 12 Moo's ice-cream and 6 mini-poppers in the freezer. half a cheese cake in the fridge. 2 oreos packet. 1 bottle of kueh bangkit.

not working though. hahas.

coca-cola zero.
everyone knows i am a HUGE coke fan, right? RIGHT?!

my dad tried to hide this new coke flavour from me this afternoon. but he can't stand typing the name into the cashiering system so he HAD to show me. and guess what? i went home with ONE can (mum was there. so i cant get more or it's off with my ears)! whees~

i very kindly shared half a can with the brother unit. i put 5 ice-cubes into my cup and while i was placing the ice-tray back into the freezer, the mother unit fished out 2 and threw them away-.- my ice cubes!!

the drink is not too bad(: taste exactly like coke but without the sweet after-taste. oh, and definitely less gassy than the original. *slurps* 4 out of 5 stars!

the cost price of a can of drink.
do you know how much the cost price of a can of drink is?

$0.42. yes, my darlings. 42 cents! including GST!

can you imagine how much the coffee shops and cafes are earning? the highest amount i paid for a can of drink should be $2.50. WAH! earn like siao! but then again, their rent is probably high? but STILL!

the 25m and 5m sign.
while on the bus home from tuition today, i saw this sign that said, "Heavy vehicles turning 25m ahead". didn't think much of it.

then! i noticed that less one-of-me away (that's about 1.65m away), there's another sign that says, "Heavy vehicles turning 5m ahead."

that's not all! just 3 steps away is the place where the heavy vehicles are suppose to turn o.O

sorry for the weird way to describe the distance. hahas. i literally imagine myself lying down on the ground to measure the distance-.- WHAT?! hees.

and it's back to the excel.
back to work. wish me luck!

i will never give up on my calculations! raa! raa! raa! *roars*
@ 1:46 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

happy birthday, vincent, cheryl, susanto and michelle!!(:

4 people in a day! wow-wee.

back to BF323:(
@ 10:04 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

urgh. i almost couldn't blog. stupid stupid google. you are getting on my nerves! *waves fist*

anyways, time to count my blessings before the pms and emo mood sets in. i think they are coming soon judging from the mood swing i had just now. *shrugs*

the fyp group.
i don't know how the other two feels. but for me, i am rather happy and satisfied(:

at least we get along and everything(:

the friends(:
scotchey who i meet only twice a week this semester. but whenever we meet, we can yak like there's no tomorrow. wahaha.

juan whom (who?) i finally finally have a same class with after 2 years in NBS! lots of fun. even though she likes to call me 小绵羊 (direct translation- little sheep) on and off *hands bucket to reader* and she's always asking me to eat! -.-

the rest of the secondary school peeps(: i dont know. we haven't meet up for eons. but the mass msn conversation just now was fun((: but guys! asking me to "fetch" saran is not such a good idea! cause i am prone to being late as well, remember? hahas.

and there's ber who listens to me on msn and everything else. whees~

SPP too! 8 years, peeps! still going strong! *grins*

bestie lai! we exchange phone calls like once in a blue moon? but when we do chat or meet up, it's like nothing has changed? she knows how i feel, think and work. and she's probably the only person who worries about the "condition" of my skin/face as much as i do(: whees~

sometimes, i may grumble that my social circle is small. but then again, i rather have a small cosy group of friends than a huge social circle with friends that i am not that close with.

the family(:
things are okay here. the brother IS talking to me now. the sister is still living in her fairy world now and again. we all have our own rooms(:

the brother unit got into SP - Business. his first choice. but somehow, i feel that he is wasting his "talent". i mean, he IS the SMART one in the family. oh wells. as long as he starts studying hard in poly and stop playing that much game-.-

the parents and grams are healthy(:

now the bad parts...
the so-called term break is coming. and i have work piled on me:( when i think of term break, the image of a chain collision(piled up?) will pop up. you know, where one car stops suddenly on the highway and the car behinds bangs into it and the car behind this car bangs into it and so on.

fyp proposal due. BF221 report due. AB213 survey questions due. BF323 mid-terms. AB214 homework. gazillion lots of readings. tsktsk. and exams is like in 2 months? wow. oh no! hahas.

for today? heck lah! opps.

but! if everything goes as plan, i will be seeing my gurlies during the break. i'll say, even if it means i have to sacrifice my sleep, i am going to meet them(: before PA comes and lock me into a jail cell for summer.

the neon shoes.
remember back when we were young and there's this "fashion trend" that wannabes will follow? wearing mismatch shoes and slippers?

while queuing for 179A today, the girl in front of me is wearing this:

erm. ew? i mean, it's okay if they are mismatched. but neon colors? it reminds me of NDP-.-

but i guess each to its own. or something like that.

okies, i am tired. bed early. work hard tomorrow! i didn't do any BF323 at all. i end up copying maths question for my tutee. she's so gonna hate me for that. hahas.

from fool's gold - you married a guy for sex. don't expect him to be smart too.

@ 12:34 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

the heels incident.
the GUY sitting at our table is so going to get it from me on friday. sarcastic comment will be aplenty.

to all guys who thinks that all girls SHOULD know how to walk in heels, please approach me. i will GLADLY lend you my heels and we'll see how you walk in them. well, provided that you guys dont FALL flat on your face.

pompous ass.

cattle abuse.
i was watching CNA on 179 this morning. there's this cattle farm in the US that kicks, forklift and do all kinds horrible things to cattles that are too weak to walk.

urgh. FREAKS. when they are too old to walk, someone should kick them. URGH!

clumsy much?
my mum made breakfast for me and put it in a lunch box. and it's just a SIMPLE lunch box but my fingers got "giap-ed" by it. and i ouch-ed very loudly in class. BLEH.

and i walked into the door yesterday-.- even though weilong was holding the door for me-.-

it's the clumsy season again!

the eraser thief.
3 weeks ago, juan messaged me and told me that she took my eraser by mistake. sotong-ly, i thought it was mine. so she returned it to me the following week.

then TODAY! while stoning and spacing out during BF323 seminar, i saw this really clean and new eraser with the price still intact. curious, i leaned forward and realised that the eraser that juan returned me was NOT mine.

she took someone else's eraser!! oppps.

banana ass.
yes, our favorite character is back to haunt me again.

why not just block him? i'll explain in the next part.

blocking vs. ignoring (applies only to people who are thick).
when you block this kind of people, they will just think that you are NOT online.

but when you are online and IGNORING them when they come to disturb you, sooner or later, they will know that you dont like them or something is up.

which one is better? i like the latter.

but as banana ass is an exception, someday, i will just yell at him when he comes to talk to me in msn or even "virtual hug" me. oh, remind me to tell him how much he disgust me as well.

hugs.
i used to be the kind of girl that believes that hugs can solve everything. no matter how tired you are or how upset you are, a hug is the best cure.

now? nopes. i dont believe that anymore. what do i believe in now? no idea.

and i dont give a damn either.

the edison saga.
is it over yet? *whines*

he is good-looking. he has that bad-boy attitude. him being a playboy is NOT that much a surprise right?

and so what if he took all those raunchy pictures? everyone has their own quirks and whatnot.

shouldn't the blame be on those unethical technicians who spread the photos?

it's been a month since the whole thing started. time for it to stop eh?

phillip capital.
they set up a booth in J8 o.O erm..wrong place? wrong time? wrong target audience?

transition lens.
appropriate or inappropriate?

inappropriate to wear it for work, me thinks. cause what if you happen to be in a sunny place AND you are talking to your clients? rude!

tiffany.
i will never look at tiffany in the same way anymore.

risk management ruined it. BAH!

okay, i better pay attention.

baby, i must say your aura is incredible.
@ 10:18 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

fyp status.
consultation with the fyp tutor went fairly well? ultimately, it boils down to our proposal.

haa. another ab213 again *faints*

meeting next monday. please, can we please dont meet in school? it IS recess week. if i can, i want to avoid school at all cost.

what did i do today?
hmmm. hmmmmmmmmmm. hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

went to school. came back home. rot in the shop. paint my nails. dinner. read. that's about it.

craps. i have to work double-ly hard tomorrow. at least one question for my BF323 assignment! at this rate, i might have to skip my AB213 lecture again.

NO! NO! NO!

hopefully, my AB213 meeting will end early so that i can at least come home, take a cat nap and then rush my work tomorrow. in this way, i won't have to skip lecture.

that's all.
nothing much to talk about today. not emo = nothing to talk about. that's good right?

oh yeah! i saw 2 primary school kids playing "ji gao ba" (you know, that game. where you cannot have the same item as the one your opponent is saying?). BUT! instead of calling it that, they called it, "PO-KE-MON"! so instead of rock, paper and scissors, they will use things like thunderbolt, thunder flash and so on depending on what pokemon the winner pick. inventive!

bedtime then(:

i'm not going to write you a love song.
@ 2:22 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

AB213 Research Proposal
After 7 hours of editing, i am done(:

i seriously hate APA format. i cannot believe that i still have many many reports that needs to conform to their standard. the most important one being FYP.

luckily, i have microsoft office 2007. it helps with the citation. one click and it will generate your references for you(:

FYP project
i have no idea what i am suppose to do? so i just anyhow search. we are meeting an hour before we meet up with the professor. so hopefully, we will make some headway before that. fingers cross, people!

i am pretty determined to get this professor as our fyp tutor because she sounds quite zai? unlike the other professor we emailed. seriously, i think he is just using us to generate some possible topics. look at our CVs? total crap-ness.

that's about it.
had a long chat with the bestie on the phone. to the point where i am have a sore throat now-.- i dont know, i tend to talk rather loudly on my hp-.- because when i talk in my normal tone, everyone goes, "i cant hear you!" . so yeah.

off to bed soon.

cant believe i have to go to school on my off day. please make it worth it! ACCEPT US!

interviewer: what do you wish God will say to you when you go to heaven/
cookie monster: COW-WA-BAN-GA!!!!

@ 3:27 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i've just been brain-picked by my AB214 table mate?

hahas. hope it helps though.
@ 3:32 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i have work piled on me. but i took today as a "Project Runway" marathon session. theres something different about project runway. i guess what makes it different from ANTM is that they have guys! well, most gay ones. but hey! all the designers are funny(:

i have one funny quote!

i know nothing about football. except that it is probably the one time that spandex is acceptable.

i dont know. it just made me laughed when that desginer said it.

i took this picture from my POV:

i have been lying down and watching my shows sideways-.- bad for my eyes, i know.

it's craving season and i AM getting cranky + grouchy.

my AB214 tutor replied me but i have yet to read the email.

sometimes, i really feel like i should go look for a job in COMMUNICATIONS. because i like presenting and i like being with people. well, most of the times. more than i like finance? but i like maths as well! teacher? maybe.

my mum threw away my empty shokubutsu bottles! so i cant refill them and it was too late to go out and buy. so i ended up pouring the contents of the refill pack into these:

yups, old water bottles of mine-.-

i am a little angry with my mum. she threw those bottles away but she keep insisting that the ones she threw away were not my shokubutsu bottles! she keep saying they are GREEN, WHITE and CLEAN. well, my shokubutsu bottles have a GREEN cap and a WHITE bottle and they are CLEAN because i washed them last night!

but oh wells. at least she came up with the idea of water bottles *shrugs*

okies. off to bed. i promise to be up early (well, early being a tentative word) to do my AB213 report(:

wish me luck!(: oh yeah. the CW "Be Free to Be Green" ads are really cute(:

swing it, shake it, move it, make it. who do you think you are?
@ 2:11 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

structure or tone?
so theres this whole huge emphasis on the importance of structure in a presentation. i understand and agree to that but then i cant help but wonder, " structure vs. tone+non-verbal signals. who will win?" and it's bugging me quite a bit.

my argument is that if we have a fantabulous structure but our non-verbal is so-so (say, we just stand there and talk in our normal voice), will our audience pay attention to our structure at all? wait, will they pay attention to us AT ALL?

conversely. theres the presenter with the so-so structure (structure present but just a little jumbled up) but the non-verbal signals are good (voice texture, eye-contact), what will the audience do? no doubt that they will pay attention, but the question is will they understand? i think they will understand what the presenter is saying more or less.

i mean, how many times have we found ourselves falling asleep in lectures despite the lecturer having good structure? and how many times have we sat listening to people who are really engaging and after everything, feels like you may have gained very little but you had fun?

which one leaves a better impression?

somehow, i feel that this problem is kind of like my impromptu questions, " to be entertaining or consumer-informative"?

and also, my tutor told me that you do not need to have a fantabulous opening in a impromptu presentation. but i beg to differ. even though we may already have the audience attention (since they are the ones who wanted us to present to them), i believe that a strong opening is still necessary to bring the focus point to you and your topic. hmmm...

and now i find myself emailing my tutor about all these. ohmy. me? active in comms class?

now thats a first.

picking which module to take.
i realised some of my friends like to "check out" a module before deciding whether or not to take them.

if the course appears difficult in the course outline and exam papers, they will NOT take the module. i know it's only natural because everyone dont want to put their GPA into jeopardy.

but the thing is! the course outline and exam papers look difficult to you because you have yet to take the course!!! after you take the course, the exam papers might look easier!!

and whats the point of taking a module where the exams paper look easy even before you take the module? if it's easy, it probably means that you already understand the mod quite well. so whats the point in taking it if you are just going to learn the same thing?

hmmm..

alrightys.
very exhausted. off to bed after my 5th episode of project runway!

blahblahblah.

@ 1:01 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

after the misunderstanding cleared up, i feel slightly better. well, until the next project rolls by.

i am glad that my fyp is making some headway(: *fingers crossed*

the thoughts.
and just because it's valentine's day, the thoughts are about what else? BGR.

was telling juan during lunch on tuesday that i dont want to get into anything yet because i am afraid of being the one giving more than the other. what i want is a 50-50 relationship. of course there will be "unbalanced" times but in general, i want it to be a equal relationship.

i dont want to feel trap and 委屈. realizing that i dont like to feel that way but cannot bring myself to walk out of that relationship. because when i put myself into a friendship and especially a relationship, i wont be able to JUST WALK OUT. i cant. no matter how bad the relationship is making me feel. because i have already put my heart and soul in.

do you know what i mean?

oh wells.

21st single valentine day(: my mum dragged me to look at the flowers that are selling in the market when we went for dinner on tuesday. we were pointing our the ones we like. hahas. quite cheap? flower+bear = $20 but small bouquet lahs. but quite nice(:

IF i do get attached, i guess i am not the kind of girls that like flowers and chocolates on valentine's day. i like things to be sweet, special and from the heart(: doesnt matter that it is cheap or ugly. thought that counts? littlest things that counts(:

oh wells. off to bed.

HAPPY BELATED VALENTINE DAY, Y'ALL!!
@ 2:03 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

okay, things are okay between us le.

i guess we were just both tired.

thank goodness.
@ 11:02 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

slept at 6am last night. finally, i feel awake enough to stop falling asleep.

ab213 project.
i dont know. it's really a shitful project. my group mates have practically no idea what to do for the upcoming presentation on friday and they dont really seem to be making an effort to try. ok, fine. someone needs to take the first step? so, i did. i came up with the presentation and research proposal outline. as expected, no one have ANY objections. then i asked around and realized the one i proposed was not in line with the one the lecturer wants, so i changed. and again, no one said anything.

then on tuesday, i was damn pissed off and worried cause one of my group mates couldnt make it to the meeting and didnt have the decency to tell me until monday. craps. FINE. so the rest of us met up. i sat down with them and told them what i want in each part and where they can find the information. NATURALLY, if you came for the meeting, you get to choose the part you are comfortable with doing right? besides, i assigned work according to the first proposal that i came up with.

so, since the one who didnt came worked on Ethics and Validity in the first proposal, i thought it's only natural that she continued to work on that part. BECAUSE when i assigned people to parts that they should work on in the first proposal, i did mention TWO TIMES that if you are uncomfortable with your part, please let me know. and she didnt! so i thought shes okay with the area. then she told me, " can i dont do that part?" . of course not! cause i have already briefed everyone else about theirs and they are already working on it. if you have mentioned that you are uncomfortable with that part, you should have made some noise in the beginning!

okay, so i thought maybe i should help her. so i scanned my psych textbook from last sem and told her that she just need to use the information there and apply it to our research. easy peasy right?

i also specifically told her that i need the POWERPOINT by 3.30pm yesterday and the WORD document by 3.30pm today. guess what? she DID NOT send me anything at 3.30pm. so i msged her and told her again that i need her POWERPOINT. she didnt reply me until 7plus and told me she just sent her stuff to me. FINE. as i was still editing my own parts, i didnt check what she sent until 10plus.

when i checked, guess what? she sent me WORD document. crap. i am still editing some other parts from the others so i msged and asked her to do her ppt and send to me. it's okay if it's going to take until 3am or something cause i am going to edit the presentation till quite late anyways.

this is what she replied, "I think most of the points are in the report. You just copy and paste some in point form can liao?"

WTF. you want me to read your report and decide for you what you should put in your presentation? if i do that, i can dont sleep le lor. so i msged her and told her to be fair to me and ask her NICELY to do the ppt herself.

this is what she replied, "If you think it is not fair, then who was fair to me when doing wealth planning?"

WTF. first, that is another module, so please dont bring it into this module. second, i wasnt really fairly treated during wealth planning as well, was i? we assigned her and another guy to do the car analysis. but somehow or another, the guy came over and helped us in house analysis. not our fault right?!! it was THE GUY who was unfair to you NOT me. and if you REALLY want to talk about fairness, then what about me? i had to do a) house analysis, b) do the ppt presentation TWICE because you guys changed the format at the last minute and c) i have to read all your compiled research and PICK OUT THE FUCKING POINTS you guys want in the ppt. do you call that FAIR DISTRIBUTION of work?

compiling is not easy. and i contribute MORE THAN SINGING in that freaking presentation. which is really all that you guys give me credit for! i did the house analysis part too. i was the one who did all the housing grants and NOTICE the mistake the guy who was supposed to be doing car analysis made. i was the one who stayed awake till 6am to do the presentation on TWO nights because you guys CHANGED the presentation format?

tell me, is that FAIR?!

anyway, she sent me her ppt that night and when i opened it, guess what? it was just copy and paste directly from her report. it's in FREAKING chunks. urgh. i had to redo it for her.

the feeling.
when i saw that message, i was literally at the brink of tears. i did so much work and yet now i am accused of being a SLACKER.

when i was about to cry, i saw a cockroach at the foot of my bed. i screamed and ran out of the room. i think my mum knew i am stress about work so she didnt make any fuss. just got out of bed and helped me caught it. she even chased me with it after she put it in a plastic bag.

thank goodness for that cockroach. or i will be crying like nobody's business.

i hate being myself.
sometimes, i just hate being myself so much.

why must i be so freaking responsible all the time? why? i should just let them all drown and die. do my part and leave them to die on their own.

when i am doing compiling, i should just do what the word means. cut and paste all the separate documents into one document. NOT editing the points. NOT beautifying. NOT doing the animation. but i cant.

i cant. i cant. i cant.

i FEEL responsible for the goddamn project. i FEEL i OWE them to do it nicely. besides, if i let them die, i am also letting my grades die right?

ber and juan must be so tired of hearing me repeat the same thing over and over again. of telling me to just let them die over and over again.

i cant just let them die and feel okay about it. my brain wont let me.

can i stop? can i stop being me?

i am so tired. so so tired of having the same problems over and over again.

i hate myself even more now. because i actually want to patch things up with that girl. because we still have to work together in other projects. if things carry on this way, it's not beneficial to everyone right?

is it my fault?
every time these kind of things happen, i will blame myself eventually.

was it because there is miscommunication?

juan said it's because i made my group members feel too comfortable.

but i'm like that.

i cant be all serious serious with the whole i-mean-business thing. even with my juniors, i wasnt like that.

it's the way i work. the way i function. the way that got me into leadership positions in all my CCAs back in secondary school.

so why isnt it working now? why why why?

because, like what juan said, they dont appreciate it? they just kind of take it for granted?

stop. stop. stop. someone please stop me from behaving so stupidly. please.

i am so sick of being treated this way. that everything i do for people is taken for granted. so so sick.

so sick of being responsible. of always working for the big picture. of always the one taking the initiative.

this morning.
i was awaken by the sound of many sms coming into my hp. woke up and saw that they are sms-es from the other 2 group mates.

they are asking me things like what are the page limit for the report, if we can present early tomorrow. i dont know i dont know i dont know. if you want to know the answer, ask the tutor! do i look like a babysitter?

i need someone to rely on now.

stop relying on me. please.

for ab213. for bf221. for fyp. for every little gritty things.

no wait. i dont mind being relied on. but please dont take me for granted.

many thanks.
many thanks to scotchey for listening to me rant on tuesday.

many thanks to ber, juan and weilong for listening to me last night.

that little thank you for sending the email to our fyp teacher really did made me feel slightly better. i can be so petty at times huh?

conclusions.
i dont need to be thanked all the time that i do things for people.

but there's always this fine line between being too polite and taking people for granted? if you know what i mean.

what caused me this whole episode?

a summary: too many people asking me questions and they expect me to know the answers. being accused of being a slacker when i am not. not being appreciated in my groups. and more recently, one of my close friend. i feel that shes changing into something like one of them. then again, maybe it's because we are drifting apart and i am the only one standing still.

it feels like everyone is running after me. asking me for things that i dont have.
@ 3:38 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i told my mum i have a craving for the twister fries from macs.

guess what?

she bought them for me for dinner(: yums *licks fingers*
@ 9:11 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i got a B for my impromptu presentation. am not very happy with it. but seeing that she graded us purely on content and structure, i think i deserved that B. because my structure is practically non-existence-.-

but she circled high and high for my verbal and non-verbal(: so maybe when those two come into play, i might score better? at least a B+?

i need to come up with a structure fast. in prepared presentation, i have structure because i have time to write what i want to say, read it out then write from the POV for the audience. but in impromptu? nah-ah.

but i'm wondering, maybe i would have done better IF the impromptu is in mandarin. hahas.

oh wells. JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU! handed in the persuasive writing on monday. pretty proud of myself. no asking for help or reading other people's stuff(: it's purely my work(:

nothing else i want to say. off to bed early cause i have to chiong AB213 tmr-.-
@ 1:38 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

dear fyp mates(:

please send me your time-table this semester.

if not, my hp sms limit will explode this month.

because ah..everytime we want to meet up ah. one of you will sms me the day that you can make it, then i have to sms the other person to ask and you know how the cycle continues-.-

so yes! to be more friendly to my pocket, please send me your timetable and i will send to everyone else.

xie xie.
@ 9:29 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i dont know about you but i am sick of hearing myself say, "i am doing most of the project/ppt presentation again."

i know i should be firm and all. send things back to my group mates and ask them to re-do until it is satisfactory and whatnot. but do we have the time? why waste the time in asking them to re-do it when you know there's a high probability that they the work will come back unsatisfactory? then you realised that time is running out so you are left with 2 choices: a) be satisfied with the unsatisfactory work or b) kill yourself and re-do the thing at the very last minute.

knowing myself, i know i can never be satisfied with the first choice. so i rather kill myself. but then again if i choose option b, wouldnt it be a little oxymoronic? i mean, just re-do the whole thing yourself in the first place then maybe you wont have to kill yourself. right? RIGHT?!

then again, maybe i should have a little faith in my group mates. trust that they will do a job the second time. but, judging from how some of them seriously dont care about presentations in general, i really dont have the courage to have the faith.

the only people who knows what i want for presentations are probably just my marketing girls? hmm.

in other news...
there IS no other news. great.

oh right.

the sister unit came home screaming, yelling and feeling all excited because she met her favorite singer - stephanie sun.

and i am like, "okay...so?" besides, i am preoccupied with my research project. presenting on friday and still not making any headway. and a whole lot of other tiny problems.

besides, my gaa-gaa over celebrities days are over. it was over the day i went to A1's autograph session, wrote a letter to the members, look like an idiot when shaking their hands and ran after their bus screaming. that was 6 years ago.

seriously, the sister unit will be 24 this year. and she's acting more my age than i am?!

morning class tomorrow. wish me luck.


@ 12:28 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i spent the whole day reading and dozing off. overwhelmed by tiredness again.

but seriously, i think it's a serious bout of inertia. hard to stop, hard to start. the whole physics thing. and of course cognitive dissonance. i know i have to start hitting the books, but i am reluctant. so a compromise? reading. haa.

studying partner any?

i just realised, the suckiest thing about having your birthday after everyone else's is that you seriously dont know what to expect for yours. will your birthday be as nice, cosy and happy as your friends? or will it be spent alone again? what will it be? and me being the i-just-want-to-get-it-over-and-done-with attitude, this is rather hard. especially since it's the big 2-1 this year. hurhur.

of course, the best part is you get to laugh at your friends who have turned older. a favorite past time of mine as you all know.

can we celebrate my birthday earlier? like 10 months earlier?

apparently, my single status are baffling many of my friends, relatives and acquaintance. this is no news. but it always reaches a peak during the festive season-.-

yesyes, i am single. no guys on my radar. blahblahblah.

i have been thinking actually. IF mr prince charming does roll by, and proclaimed his undying love to me, will i say yes? i dont really think so? because i cant imagine myself having someone to report to? having to ALWAYS take the other half into consideration? and of course, i am not ready to take on the risk of being taken for granted. it's bad enough with my friends, so i dont want to risk that in a relationship too.

the kind of relationship that i am looking for? something more ad-hoc? how to put it? low-maintenance? maybe. those kind where you just meet up on weekends and once a weekday, sms-es each other on and off when interesting things happen. someone to do things with. like an activity partner plus best friend kind of thing? craps. i am not making sense.

this cinderella is confused about what she wants.

everyone i met but am not so close with said that i look like those kind of girls who aspire to be a tai tai. i do?

sometimes, when i am really tired of the financial situation at home, i do find myself thinking, "why not just adhere to those stereotypes and actually ASPIRE to be one?" you know, go with the expectations and all that crap.

i mean, it wont be that bad, right? stay at home and laze around. doing things that INTEREST you and not worrying whether the money is enough for you to survive through the month. having a car. a maid. and all that hoity-toity stuff.

then i feel like slapping myself. where's your backbone, woman? and i will probably die from suffocation because being a taitai comes with plenty of strings attached! and wheres the satisfaction in being given a car?

to be a taitai or not to be?

off for dinner(:
@ 8:37 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i slept the whole day. saturdays are now officially my sleeping days(: let's see how long that can remain true.

let's do a little trace back(: bare with me? hees.

cny eve.
had tuition in the morning. was pleasantly surprised because my tutee was rather attentive and cooperative throughout(: and! her grandmother and father gave me hongbaos(:

after which went to thomson plaza to meet with sivan. she needed to get a shirt and cake for her uncle's wedding anniversary. so yups. we walked around, juan came to pass sivan some stuff and then we sat down and talked while waiting for cyn.

we waited for almost an hour before deciding to sms cyn to asked if she was already on the way out. it was then that she told us that she cant come cause her mum was a little angry with her-.- i think if we didnt message her, sivan and i will most probably die from hunger.

so it was off to kfc(: DO NOT try their cheese-ey melt (unless you are lai)! because it was so spicy that it killed all my appetite. hahas. after which, it was home bound.

spring-cleaning time!! i realised that i have a lot of nail polish. SEE!

took me 3 hours to clean the whole room-.- quite satisfied though(: ohoh! this is probably the best invention EVER!
i bought this in IKEA. it's basically a huge roll of sticky tape. so i just rolled it over my table/floor/cupboard top and VIOLA! all the hair, dust and whatnot will be stuck to it! and when you are done, just tear the layer away! hahaas. i sound so auntie-.-

after cleaning, i turned from cinderella to manicurist! i helped my sister colour her nails-.- i asked her to do it herself and her reply was, " what for? 有人帮我弄， 又不用给钱!" thanks ah. hahas. she keep complaining that i colour out of line-.- blehs! hahas.

had reunion dinner after that. kind of. 3 out of 5 families came. we ate and watched tv. nothing much. but it was hilarious watching the cousins trying to catch a beetle(:

cny day one.
okay, let's keep this day short since i updated it(:

it was off to the grams place for a major gathering. all the far-away cousins came. but we didnt really mingle cause they are rather hostile? one of them even brought a laptop and played game. sheesh! but i was happy enough cause my sister and i "monopolised" baby chloe(: the cousins chatted and joked around as usual(:

after which, movie at PS. my sister had a small accident. while exiting the carpark, the car banged against the wall and the side mirror curved in. she gave up driving after that. hahas. so yeah. after movie, it was off to suntec for dinner. not much places were open so we had swensens(: after that, it was off to T3.

ohoh! my sister and i were kind of glad we dressed up this year. cause everyone else did. here's how we look like!

my mum took the picture. shes still new to the camera. hahas. i am standing in such a weird posture-.-

we took a family picture as well(:

nice nice(: and my sister forced me to take a picture with the red "disco" lights.
right after the picture, the lights changed and we waited quite awhile for it to reappear. but it didnt. hahas. *shrugs*

fun day(:

cny day two!
we didnt have steamboat this year. instead, we went to vivocity to have sushi. sakae sushi sucks! i miss sushi tei:( had some lousy lunch before heading to sentosa(:

this is the first time the whole family went to sentosa together in our CAR! hahas. we wanted to visit the flower exhibition there but the car park was full and we dont want to wait for the bus! the queue was scary. oh! there was traffic jam in sentosa-.- total crap-ness. hahas. we just drove around sentosa-.- then we left. wasted 12 bucks-.-

we cant decide where to go so my mum suggested that we go to "visit" my grandpa since next week will be his 忌日. thats when my sister made a really silly mistake. she went, " boon lay is in the east and airport is in the west right?" lols. tian ah. thank goodness, she was not the one driving that day! hahas.

anyways, the dad decided not to go because it was rather late:( i miss my grandpa.

but! the whole family went kbox-ing at cine instead! it was fun! i lost my way in kbox while trying to get back to our room after getting food from the buffet-.- throw face! hahas. the parent sang really old songs while the 3 monkeys (us) sang plenty of sun yan zi's. of course, i sang i forced my sister to sing SHE songs with me(: nice!



@ 12:02 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i fell asleep after watching the countdown show and left my msn on-.- i guess cleaning the room really did wear me out. it took me 3 hours to clear away all the dust and mop the room. i bet the dust are already back on the cupboard top-.- oh wells.

the gathering.
woke up around 11am and read in bed(:

went to the gram's house around 1pm(: we were the second to arrive. thats a first! had lunch and basically just laze around the house.

ohoh! i played with baby chloe today(: my sister and i kind of "monopolized" her. well, she came to us and stayed there(: even refusing to go home. hehe. took some snapshot(:



@ 1:43 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

today. the "mee-pok" post.
nightmare about vampires. eeps! and when i woke up, the left side of my head felt so heavy that i was walking diagonally and banging into walls/doors/chairs. i cant even stand properly-.- my braces hurt too:(

went to school and almost fell asleep towards the end of BF323. ohoh! i passed my first quiz. not really fantabulous but i got 14.5 out of 25! not too bad for a person who took a quiz AFTER her first class huh? *grins* hey, dont judge me! i have to count my blessings as they come! hahas.

had lunch with juan at the quad then waited for the fyp people to come. not too bad, i guess. hopefully the professor will accept us! *roars* it got me all riled up about personality psychology again((: i miss having a psych mod this sem! i wonder if i will feel the same way towards BAF mod next sem. *scratch head*

skipped AB213 make-up class because half of my group mates are not coming (all sick! haiyo!) so theres no point going since we cant have a proper discussion with the tutor. yups. so skipped to borders and spurlge-.- like ALOT.

bought 3 books - Microtrends, Wicked and Quirkology. Nothing about finance. *dry laughs* spent about $50 bucks on 2 books and the 3rd book was a super belated birthday gift from jianchong (thanks, dude!). BIG HOLE in wallet. but then again, after one year of not buying books and going to bookstores, this is acceptable ok? AND! the thrill and comfort i feel when i am in Borders or Kino is *blissful sigh* the smell too! i'm a BOOKWORM! i admit! *waves white flag*

i also bought shu uemura loose powder. cause after a short BUT nice discussion with the bestie (who is sick) last night, we have come to the conclusion that i can we can live without foundation and just stick to loose powder. especially since both of us are a)lazy and b)we value our skin quality! yesyes. so thats 80 moolahs down the drain.

took a look at my bank balance and the conclusion is...I AM GOING TO STOP SPENDING. PERIOD! no questions asked.

here are my short-term financial goals (at most 1 year):

1. Have at least $2000 in my bank account by end of year.
2. Buy a new ipod(:
3. New handphone

the priorities are as follows (ranging from most important to least): 1,3,2.

my attack strategy? try to save at least 20% of whatever that comes in per week and NEVER look down on COINS. *determined*

can you tell i am kind of addicted to wealth planning? seriously, i might just give up taking my corp finance mod and used that one last BAF prescribed on some mod in wealth planning. portfolio management perhaps? or maybe i should overload? hmms.

the scary scene.
was on my way home when i saw a group of people clustering outside the barber shop below my block. i walked in closer and got a shock.

a man was having a fit right at the doorstep of the shop. he was on the floor, shaking uncontrollably. i just stood there like the rest of the people and stared. i was shocked. i should have done something. maybe asked if anyone called the ambulance or just hold the door so that his legs are not stuck in between.

my mum was there too. she shoo-ed me away after awhile. the moment i reached home, i msn-ed ber. and after awhile, i heard the ambulance. hopefully, the man is okay.

my mum tried to make it sound like no big deal afterwards. it pisses me off because it IS something serious. but then again, maybe shes just trying to make me feel better? so that i wont have nightmares about it.

the sotong me.
back to something lighter.

yes, i have done it AGAIN. i have accidentally deleted away all the messages in my hp! including those birthday messages:( and i have to agree with scotchey, i am super BLUR!

again, scotchey and i came up with the conclusion that the girls in our comms class dont really like us. ah well. the feeling is mutual? hahas.

scotchey! hope you like the bag(: and yes! we still have to meet for your birthday lunch! pizza hut lunch express? tell me when you are free and i'll coordinate with the other pig (aka kl) ;p

cny is up. and i dont feel cny-ish at all. i am just so drained of energy. sometimes, i even catch myself wishing that cny is not coming and i can nuar at home! beh!

off to bed. tuition --> spring cleaning --> help out in shop tomorrow.

365 days a year, 24 a day, 7 days a week. somebody, hit the lights!

@ 3:05 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

sheesh. there goes my early night.

the brother and father unit was squabbling and arguing about (what else?) the shop and money for his education and the future.

the sister unit and i had to play middle-man.

zzzz.. here's to a great tuesday!*raise pillow*
@ 2:10 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

the shopping trip.
between (among?) the 3 of us, we spent close to a thousand. the sister unit spending the most and yours truly spending the least.

but we got what we wanted. tops, shoes, bottoms and all. the sister unit and i managed to get a different kind of top for the brother unit. we forced him! he needs to move away from the uncle image, i say. hahas. so yes(:

it was a nice BUT short trip. and be warned! shops in far east do not open until 1pm-.-

interesting topic on the tyra banks show.
came home and watched some tv before rushing off for dental appointment.

the tyra banks show was on and the topic today was (is?) rather interesting! it's called, "What Men Really Wants?" so basically, tyra separated the audience into guys and gals. then each group were asked to describe the dressings of 2 models on-stage.

the things that women and men observed are REALLY different! there are many more mini-quizzes and basically, we can conclude that guys only notice things that are necessary for them to survive? i am pretty sure that if you change your fragrance to meatballs frangrance, i bet they will notice it more than if you changed from fruity to flowery.

and according to tyra, guys get turn on by the smell of pumpkin pie?! heh?! of all things, pumpkin pies? tsktsk.

the bus driver(:
the bus home was packed to the doors (since i cant say brim) today! but the driver of the bus on my way home is really nice.

if you have been on a crowded bus (especially 179), you will know that when the bus turns, it will be a wonder if you can stay in one spot and NOT sway AT ALL.but this bus uncle today is (was?) damn good! the journey was so smooth-sailing that i don't even have to hold onto the hand grips even though i am practically standing at the door.

that was nice(:

long day tomorrow.
starts at 8.30am and ends at 7.30pm. by the time i reach home, it will be 9+ *faints* the program is like this --> class, fyp meeting, ab213 meeting, ab213 make-up tutorial. someone pass me some coke. lols.

oh and thanks to jianchong who volunteered to help me get some books from kino/borders(: well, provided he pass by those places. hahas.

okies, off to bed!

if little blue birds can fly to the sky, so why cant i?

@ 12:11 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

too many (much?) deja vu today.

first, there was the one while reading gossip girl.

then again!

then now, the one while uploading pictures.

*shivers*
@ 3:04 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i am done with BF323 assignment. thank goodness! hahas.

juan and my answer differ by alot. cause she choose to short then long while i choose to long and roll the hedge forward. all these longing and shorting is making me nuts. hahas. at least it's over. for now. *phew*

made a weak attempt at the bonus question and question 2. i mean, it's better than leaving it blank right? (:

nothing much today. just 3 songs i kind of like(:

亲爱的，那不是爱情 by 张韶涵


你说过牵了手就算约定
但亲爱的那并不是爱情
就像来不及许愿的流星
再怎么美丽也只能是曾经

太美的承诺因为太年轻
但亲爱的那并不是爱情
就像是精灵住错了森林
那爱情错的很透明

i dont know why but i just like this song. kind of sweet and sad? i like the phrase, "但亲爱的那并不是爱情". hmmm(: ANG 5.0 is a rather good album. catchy tunes and all. i'm hooked(: it got me through my BF221 presentation preparation and my BF323 assignment. it's been on constant replay(:

Here In Your Arms - HelloGoodbye


I like where we are,
When we drive, in your car
I like where we are.... Here

Cause our lips, can touch
And our cheeks, can brush
Our lips can touch here

Well you are the one the one that lies close to me
Whisper's hello I miss you quite terribly
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms

a little techno-ish feel. a bit repetitive. but it's nice to hear it once in awhile. heard it on the radio just now and it's nice!(: hees. i came to know about this song when i was leeching someone's playlist. cant remember who though.

Don't Stop the Music by Rihanna


Do you know what you started
I just came here to party
But now we're rockin on the dancefloor
Acting naughty
Your hands around my waist
Just let the music play
We're hand in hand
Chest to chest
And now we're face to face

this song is so good, it deserves a third (fourth? fifth?) mention on my blog(: when i am tired and no coke is around to give me a boost, this usually gets me moving. well, a little. so yups!

你说过牵了手就算约定. 但亲爱的那并不是爱情. holding hands is not a promise.

@ 1:56 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i should be working on BF323 assignment because according to juan, it's rather difficult. AND it's due on tuesday. but instead, i snuggled up in bed and read another gossip girl book. this time, "Gossip Girl: All I Want Is Everything".

my plan is to finish all this teensy fiction book before CNY and return them all.

of course, i need to clear my fines too. epps!

alrighty, back to attempting to work on my BF323.
@ 6:51 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i slept the whole day. i planned to read the whole day. but in the end, i fell asleep:X

AND! i had a nightmare during the nap. whats the nightmare about? i have no idea. it just left me with a scary feeling :S i woke up feeling really sick:( pukey and giddy. i tried to force water down, but cant:(

bleh! went back to sleep and woke up at 9.30pm. feeling slightly better now(:

hospitals.
relatives, friends, friend's relatives .... too many people are entering the hospitals this year. for small stuff and big stuff. i'm worried.

people, please stay well and healthy, okay? and if you guys need a shoulder or listening ear, i'm here, okay?(:

the memories it brought back.
i dont know. it brought back memories from sec 4. that horrible period.

calling bestie and crying to her over the phone. going to school the next day trying to pretend i am okay. when prem came, i broke down again. then somehow juan and ling heard about it. which got me started again. then my committee heard about it. mrs ong came to look for me after assembly (where i made the morning announcements), asking if i was okay. and i cried AGAIN. like REALLY. she missed her first class because of me. coming home to an empty house. trying to be the strong one. comforting my sister because she was scared. breaking down during council farewell because i was sick and unable to visit her in the hospital. and saran telling susanto, "eh! say something! she's crying!" because all of the others said something except him.telling SPP the last.

unpleasant memories as they are. but i am glad i have these people with me back then. if not, i doubt i will be able to get through those days and actually study for my olevels(:

everyone, please be healthy!

the shopping trip that will never occur.
my sister pang seh me! she promised that we will go shopping for cny clothes on monday. but now, she told me she cant make it. great.

so now, i have to wear old clothes for cny? how lucky is that? angry and sad at the same time.

sometimes i feel kind of pathetic? because other than my sister and SPP, i really have no one to go out with. and SPP are all so busy. gosh.

so how now, brown cow? shopping, monday, anyone?

gossip girl.
reading gossip girl now. the book is rather different from the show. the characters are more one dimensional. more stereotypical. more messed up. and gossip girl is gossipy to the point of bitchy.

i prefer the show.

"..你说过牵了手就算约定
但亲爱的那并不是爱情
就像来不及许愿的流星
再怎麼美丽也只能是曾经.."
-亲爱的，那不是爱情 by 张韶涵

@ 2:29 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.