time adds fluff to memory(:

Thursday, August 31, 2006

i dont get it. i really dont. if she really irritates you with her so-called stubborn-ness and selfish attitutde, then why are you still with her? dont tell me you are too chicken to let her go. theres no such thing as too chicken. the fact that you are reluctant to break it off between you two shows that you still have feelings for her. and from what you told me, i am pretty damn sure that she likes you too. then whats the problem now? make it work! try and find a way to make ur relationship work. take up the suggestions that i gave you. instead of just saying, "its no use." and stop asking me to introduce girlfriends to you. because no matter how you put it, you are not going to get over a relationship by jumping into another one. i wont let it happen.

its not fair for the other girl. and i wont let any other gurls, especially if they are my gurlies to go through the kinda shit i am going through now. dont tell me that you just want to know more gal pals cause you are not surrounded by girls. what bullshit. what do you take me and lai for? u football kah kees? sometimes, i really dont get you. you found someone you liked and she likes you back. why cant you just appreciate it?

i dont know why i am making such a big fuss over this since this is not the first time i have heard you complain her. but please! spare a thought for me. stuck in a situation where its impossible to get out. being called all those sweet names knowing that they dont mean anything. but deep down inside, you hope that it does. and i am nothing more than a replacement? because i am a sagi too. whats up with that again?

i have just abt have it here.

on the bright side, i finally completed the marketing article analysis presentation. i'll leave the speech for tomorrow. i am worn out. the many nights without sufficient sleep is finally catching up on me.

its two different guys i'm talking about here by the way.

today(30th August) was a good day. but i am skeptical. i am still waiting for something negative to happen. what will it be? when will it happen? this is really crap. cant he just reply my sms?

hanwei, thanks gurlie! thanks for keeping me company and trying to help me find more information about my presentation:) and i agree! i wished my other project grp mates are as fun as this! hmms. i'll see u on friday! and gurl? its okay to be selfish sometimes. dont need to feel the way you do:)

rights. bedtime. before i really fall to pieces.

@ 3:34 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

during the first few weeks of the semester, i felt like i couldnt go on. i cant see myself carrying on. i didnt think i could make it through university. but now, i have a totally different outlook. wells, maybe not totally but it IS different.

i am gald that i got to know friends like Hanwei, Madeline, Shu Hui and Kah Leng. group mates like them make doing/rushing projects so much more fun. yes, you heard me! FUN! even though we tend to drift away from the topic and gossip. or we tend to not get what the other is saying.

and of course, i am glad that my part time occupation as a drama queen didnt scare them away(: they are people i want to know about. hahahs.

and of course, i had someone to accompany throughout the day with sms(: peeps, you should know who he is. hahas. yes, i am totally addicted. but maybe, i shouldnt worry so much abt it and let nature takes it course, aye?

first quiz next week. hand drawn stats graph? u are kidding me rights? and like hanwei say, " wo yue lai yue bu xi huan ta(i am starting to not like him more and more)!" lols. i couldnt understand a bloody thing he said. maybe i should just go buy the idiot's guide to microsoft excel eh?

BISHAN LIBRARY OPENING ON 2nd SEPT!! hurrah! novels here i come!! lols!

to sivan and gang. go back to deyi soon? maybe after the kids have their hols?! hahas.

oh yeah. me and madeline actually have this crazy idea to join student union :X but the interview is tomorrow. sheesh. dont think we will act on it. lols! but i do miss council life! what happened to my juniors? the only one i still constantly talk to and kajiao is joshua! hmmss..wo bai teng them le? grrr..

rights. i am tired. better bathe and then go and do my marketing presentation. =X eeps. save me! SOS!

@ 8:06 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

*hugs*

dont say you're ok when you're not okies?

i'll be here to kajiao and pinch and flatten ur hair de!

*maniac laughter*

@ 12:15 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

i intrigue you. you said.

is that a good thing or not?

@ 7:05 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Monday, August 28, 2006

i am in absolutely no mood to touch my tutorials and readings. i PLANNED to finish everything by today. but as usual, i'm left with marketing. darn.

it as if saturdays and sundays have officially become my AB103-Stats days. while mondays are AB105-Organisational Behaviour days. and Tuesdays my AB112- Marketing days. this is crap.

two projects due this week. article analysis for marketing and the case report write up for stats. i'm wondering when will OB start to have case study and article analysis too? hmms. i hope it will never have any!! hahahas. rrriiggghts. fat hope. but i love my OB's tutorial teacher. her tutorials are interesting! not like some other tutor i can think of where we all end up using the internet.

meeting up with grp for marketing analysis on wednesday and hopefully HOPEFULLY to the gym with Madeline, Hanwei and Shu Hui on friday. *fingers crossed* lols. me? gym? dont you find it hilarious?

anyways, here are some of my favorite celebrities:

Heidi Klum

Tyra Banks

Kiera Knightley

theres no guys! shocked? lols! yups.

@ 11:56 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

my screensaver is actually a slideshow of all the pictures in my laptop.

but everytime, when i look up from my work, i'll keep seeing this picture of san:

its as if she wants to kill people. murderous glare sia! hahas. and i'll quickly go back to work. that gurl is scary i tell you. hahas.

@ 10:01 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

had fun today. met up with sivan and lai. late again. as usual.

hahas. we went to gelare(i still dont know how to pronounce it!). i didnt wait to be served and walked right in until sivan and lai called me back. so we waited and no one came. so we walked in anyway. had raisin waffle with vanilla ice cream and iced chocolate. while sivan had new york cheesecake(my recommendation!) and caramel. lai had nothing-___-

ate and talked. and they keep laughing at me and at the things i said.grrr..lols. and we keep bumping into dawn. 3 times i think. then we bumped into priscilla, michelle, kimberly and dawn(again!)! lols.

and we went to cards and such and bought a white sheep for san! so we can give it to her after her performance! its named sally mah baaa-mo-bleah! hahahas. because the three of us couldnt decide on a name, we decided to use all three until we discovered it already had a name!! hahas

the performance was okay i guess. had some fun watching my "favorite" dancer o.O been to so many of san's performance that i already have an eye candy! hes good sia. hahas. but like lai said, "i prefer a sporty boyfriend.." lols. oh yeah, had a chat with denise during the interval! nice~ hahas. and i am not suppose to make a sound abt my weight! lols.

yups. after the performance met up with san for awhile. love her. miss her! lols. then we took pictures! hahahas. then the three of us walked off in search of the MRT station. took lotsa pics! heres one of them!

i think this is the link for the pic http://sg.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/huishan87/album?.dir=/7557scd&.src=ph

yups. off to do more work. *dives back into sea of books*

@ 1:44 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

off to see san's performance in 30 minutes times.

i am swamped with homework. i am so gonna die when i get back.

@ 4:30 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

falling all over again.

why did u say that? cause it just made me do the exact opposite.

hais. and u dont even reply the things again. rights.

got my new laptop. and thanks, madeline! for carrying it for me from boonlay to bukit batok! lols.

had fun in school today. laughed alot and leant on madeline + hanwei's shoulders during OB! lols. thanks gurls!

i need yours.

@ 1:29 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

went running this morning.

yes all. this lazy woman over here is finally getting active. well..partially. hahas.

not too bad. did 6 rounds round the mini-park. 4 run, 2 walk. standard me=)

i'm actually asking madeline and hanwei to go gym with me next friday. wows.

the wonder of having a itsy bitsy crush. motivation! remember back in sec 2? hahas.

its been a good morning. re-reading marketing chapter 2. and after running, i didnt feel horrible. i felt great with a headache as usual. then i saw this little boy who waved! when he was purely scared of me the previous time! hahas.

lets hope the day will get better!

@ 12:59 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

should be going braces? maybes.

sudden itch to travel. maybe its cause i feel tied down over here. but i have no money OR time to travel.

makes me want to become a cabin crew. at least i get to see different places! hmms. but i'll probably not get into anythign.

its nice talking to this particular person. i'm not reliant on him anymore. but we still talk!:) when he talks to me, i feel lighter. and i keep laughing (part of the reason is cause of sandie too.). and when it ends, it makes me have the "hmmmss.." feeling that i used to get after meeting up with my horny dynasty=)

and lucky bananan! get to go bintan over the weekend while i have to stay here and do horrible tutorial question. pfft. u better enjoy for my sake! hahas.

@ 2:06 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

jerol'd Posted 3/6/2004

hey claudia.. my mommi.. known dis
weird gal for.. 4 years perhaps.. nt
bad la.. got 1 pnt of time we had our
misunderstandings but luckily cleared
already =) she feng feng dian dian
de... like tosing song.. like to eat
this chinese chinese sweet.. -_-' duno
where she get sumore.. she love the
name darius.. then say wan call her son
darius.. u go find bf first then think
of son name la.. lolx.. =X u also
always complain sch alot of work.. but
u must take care of ur health too..
always slp so late.. no wonder ur eye
bags so jialat =X next time must
remember me wor.. dun forget ur 'son'..

Love from son,
*DeyI SeC 4 (j.E.r.O.l.D) `aNimE FrEaK`*
04 j.U.n.E 2004

now hes not talking to me. what happened?
what happened to all my juniors? i miss 'em.

@ 1:45 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

i still dont like my AB103-Stats tutor.

his pace is super quick! and half the time we dont understand what hes talking about. grrr.. so we were all (we as in mainly me madeline hanwei and some miscellaneous classmates) were all chatting away on MSN. hahas.

now i'm just loitering around in the free acess lab willing away my 4hrs break-___-

NO SCHOOL TOMORROW BECAUSE OF UNION DAY! HURRRRAAAAYY!!!!!!!!

anyone wants to date me? lols.

@ 11:07 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

heavy weight lifted off my shoulders.

sad yes?

but relieved? yes?

see! this whole thing aint my bowl of soup!

i love being me. the simple me =) no relationships now. thanks!

all i need is alot of sleep!

the more tired i am, the more hyper i get. been a long time since i am like that.

@ 9:27 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

oh yeah.

talked to sandie last night. shes scary.

poor future boyfriend of mine. hahas.

@ 2:59 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

asking kelvin to go out is so troublesome.

he keep pestering me to treat me. so i asked him to come out today. ok.

then this morning, he woke up and complain hes sick and cannot make it-_-

never mind. then when i reached home, he say he want go swimming. ask me go -_- i cannot go what! cause of pms. duh.

then we want go watch movie. but cannot decide on a movie we both want to watch! URGH! and hes suppose to be a guy!!!!

*bish*

@ 2:16 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

was reading SEVENTEEN magazine. when i came upon this question, "whats your most special birthday celebrations?"

it got me thinking. then i realised my most special bdae celebration is the one i never attended.

the one back in sec 4 where san sivan cyn and gang went to huge troubles to organise for me during PSL camp. but i never go because i had fever:X

it was really nice! they got cake and jellies! and candles which san said they are going to used to spell out " Happy Birthday, Shan!" at night after our night games! so sweet!

but even though i didnt go, they still gave me cakes and jellies. and my cousin gave me a set of scrapbooking materials:) and all my PSL juniors sang birthday song for me! and my trust fall was one of the best. i can toss up:) i miss those days!

even though i really prefer a small and cosy celebration, that was one of the best:)

i love you guys! *muacks*

@ 1:18 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Monday, August 21, 2006

i just proudly told ber i have gotten out of it.

but know i'm sinking back in.

am i running away? from who? from what?

can i stop now? can somebody stop me?

dont be so nice to me. i might like you.

maybe i'm just destinied to be alone. which doesnt sound so bad.

cyn cyn, lai lai, san! i miss you guys!

@ 2:48 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

here are some pictures i took with me classmates yesterday:)

anyways, when i finally get attached, you can expect several response from my friends (people like Susanto, Lai and etc):

" Who's the lucky guy?"

"FINALLY! AT LAST!"

hahas. i can just imagine.

@ 12:24 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

i wrotw this in Library 2 yesterday during my 4-hour break.

*yawn* I'm so tired!For the past few days I havent been a)sleeping well and b)sleeping enough. Why? tutorials, readings and thinking of which laptop to buy (fyi, its Fujitsu S7110). I wanted a laptop from Apple. but because of some objections and such, I got the Fujitsu instead. Cant wait to hand in the order form later:) Imagine! My own PC!! No more fights with my brother about who get to use the computer!! Hahas. HURRAH! but first, i need to set up the wireless connection at home-_- (i still have no idea how wireless work o.O) haha.

MY OWN LAPTOP! OMG!!

I guess i'm adjusting to campus life pretty okay? It was a little hard in the beginning what with all the travelling and self-print lecture notes and tutorials. But now, i'm getting to know a few of my tutorial mates a little better, at least i'll have someone who shares more or less the same experience with me and someone who'll say, "Ha! No worries. I feel the same way too!" AND, they are not all ang-moh speakers. *phew* For this semester, I'm only taking 3 subjects- Stats, OB and Marketing- exempted from taking Econs. So i guess the workload is not that great. But i think from next semester onwards, i'll be doomed. 4 subjects, taking a minor in Pyschology and joining an CCA *horrors*

i feel like volunteering at an animal shelter and/or a children's home. but i've never really gotten round to it? hmm..maybe i'll rally some classmates and ask them to join me? please? hahaa. fmm.. WSC is organising this OutReach thingy for hearing impaired children this semester. so i might join o.O?

This has been an emotionally turbulent week for yours truly. haha. but as usual theres always things to be thankful for! meeting Juan for lunch on tuesday, sms-ing with San, ZhiYang and Sivan, getting to know my classmates better and getting a new laptop:) Hahas. Woo...so exciting!

Anyways, Susanto called me up yesterday. totally unexpected! Glad to know that things with his girlfriend is/has gotten better! and they are reaching their 1st year anniversary! Congrats dude! You still owe me 2 HUGE meals, you eejit! Hahas. We had a bit of chat before his soccer practice(isnt he suppose to be having his exams or something?)!

anyways, thanks dude! Stop saying that me and your girlfriend have the same personality! hahaa.

okay. i have actually deleted away some stuff. haha.

@ 12:05 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Friday, August 18, 2006

黑白配 by 范玮琪

太阳晒的我眼睛睁不开
你的好脾气让我心情坏不起来
下雨下的我眼神发呆
你的道歉听着听着我都快要笑出来

谁说不能黑白配
世界上没有什么事
能够如此的绝对
曾经有人这样唱过
白天它不懂夜的黑
你却懂得我的美

有时候我会感觉非常累
有时候也会不知觉把你拖累
你有时会说我们不配
只要能依偎真的真的我什么都无所谓

谁说不能黑白配
世界上没有什么事
能够如此的绝对
曾经有人这样唱过
白天它不懂夜的黑
你却懂得我的美

钢琴也是黑白键
一样能看出我对你
只有满满的感谢
也许黑永远不明白
在这个彩色的世界
有你我才会存在

@ 7:48 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

my favorite songs now--> Stick With You and Hei Bai Pei.

hahas. keep playing and playing and playing. and i'm still not sick of them.

@ 1:51 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

THANKS, BER!

for two gruelling nights of going through laptops and their associated stuff with me!

i think we'll both be gald when the whole thing is over tomorrow.

@ 1:42 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

this whole thing. it doesnt stick well with me.

i hate being happy because of a specific thing. and then when its gone, i get affected by it.

grrr...

@ 1:20 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Monday, August 14, 2006

been a weird week. mood swings aplenty. feelings of crying ALOT. and the urge to high-tail out of my house and this country as soon as i can was HIGH.

but i am glad for alot of things/people this week.

mabel for inviting me to cher siang's POP (sorry, i cant go!) and considering me as one of her pretty friend. and for FINALLY REPLYING to my messages. at least i have an idea what you are doing now. i may be in uni now, but feel free to come kajiao me with questions anytime!

sivan for asking me why i sound so sad on my blog:)

vivien for showing me to the popular on campus and carrying my books while we queue to pay. thanks girl! see ya around in school!

kelvin lim, for saying i shouldnt put my a certain pic on msn cause its the 7th month and it will scare him (that pic is perfectly fine except for that pimple!). and no, i am never going to talk to your friend who asked for my number and you happily gave it away without consulting me, you eejit! yes, i will only return you the treat i promised after i am attached or susanto FINALLY treat me (whichever comes first!).

i have no idea why. but hes always "insulting" me but it never fails to make me laugh. haha. but at leats thats something that DIDNT change since secondary school. i have evolved from an airport to a moron to a noob to a idiot to god-knows-what.

zhiyang for the random sms-es. hello bro! hit the books! hit the books! lol.

joshua for the "SHAN SHAN SHAN SHAN!" on saturday night when i was feeling pretty low. and hes high-ness just made me feel happier.

Juan for the instantaneous reply when i sms-ed "Juan, i'm really tired" on National Day. which brought me to tears immedaiately cause its been a long time since anyone reply to this kinda msg of mine. and its been a long time since i sent this kinda msg out. my cries for help.

remember when i used to sms you guys happy or cute things that i see on the streets? its not unusual to receive at least 3 sms-es from em per day. but somehow, i guess we (meaning everyone) have drifted apart and i find it weird to send you guys this kinda sms-es anymore.

ber for your poms poms.

Lai for "..blasting my agonies away with your death rays.." and for calling me "..princess.." haha. it just makes me laugh and smile. our 15 minutes conversation was enough to make my worries disappear. love ya girl!! now, go and do your best for your exams! so we can finally go watch Click!, you can come to my school and i can go cut hair!

Poon and gang for a nice day at Sentosa on Saturday. Poon especially for walking with me REALLY slowly and talking about stuff:)

did i miss out anyone? if i did, msg me k? so next time i can read and smile at whatever you did. no matter how small.

haha. even though half of these people dont read my blog, its still important to list them down. because...soemtimes i get so clouded/blinded by negative thoughts that i fail to se al this things. so i can always open this entry and read it and smile:) lots of spelling errors:X

better get back to my graph drawings*groans* if only i have a laptop. offers anyone? hahaa.

@ 12:02 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

i'm nt in love people!

@ 9:57 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i will not get attached to that something/someone.

lai. stop me! quick! we know how dangerous it can be. haha.

i will not. i will not. i will not.

@ 1:17 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Friday, August 11, 2006

i'm growing attached to someone/something i shouldnt.

i miss lai and san.

lai came and talk to me and things started brightening up.

all these moodswings are driving me nuts.

like she said, either i need her and san to be by my side or i need a boyfriend.

hahaa. i miss ya guys!

and i realise something. my parents may spent more time on my siblings. i never realised this. but my grandparents give me quite alot of attention too. :)

i miss my grandpa today.

@ 12:37 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

i dont know what i want to say,

i'm just tired both emotionally and physically.

somewhere i belong. but where?

everything seems to be falling apart. friends are drifting away. no, let me correct that. friends drifted away.

so much i want tu say. *sigh*

i want to tell juan but i have to remember that shes going through the same thing as me. so why should i trouble her?

i want to move out.

on the plus side, had fun smsing away yesterday with some rare people? hahaa. they are people whom i dont even sms regularly but yet, we can exchange so many smses yesterday. amazing. haha. so thanks to zhiyang, vivien and weilin. it was nice.

@ 9:13 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Monday, August 07, 2006

on the way home from school, i heard this old uncle saying very loudly, "....Singapore girls not good. At least when you marry China girls, they are hardworking."

what a typical MCP! grrr..just because Singapore girls cares about equality, they grumble. in case he doesnt know, we are already in 2006. theres no longer the family where husband just come home and laze. URGH!

so before the uncle alight, he actually turned and looked at me. he knew i heard him. and he has the cheek to smile at me! i gave him my fiercest glare and shook my head after i looked away!

as for the young guy who sat next to him and listen to him crap about all this and NOT DEFENDING us, after the uncle alighted, i turned and gave him the same glare. the grade 5 glare. hmph.

anyways, i'm sick of saying "thank you" to customers who didnt even bother to reply or smile at my dads shop. grr..

@ 7:23 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Juan and ade are in the same class and everything. i'm not. expected.

BUT i'll be brave. i hope. i'll be what i used to be!

its all about positive thinking!

it will be as if my confidence never left me.

(i hope)

@ 2:16 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

omg. he proposed! i got no idea what went on in between but from what he said in the video, its sweet~!

BUT! the show High School Reunion still sucks. lol

@ 1:56 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

went out with lai cyn sivan and san today,

guys, i am touched! ok?! hahaa. san and lai didnt sleep at all last night but they still come and meet me. awwww..and cynthia got test tomorrow but she also came! and poor sivan had to wait 20 minutes for me cause i was late! *muacks* to all!

haha. and cynthia and sivan were confused with the Lake House plot. tried to explain but they still dont get it. hahaa.

had fun. i love my pizza. lol. service was bad though.

and i bought alfafa sprouts for my mum:)

@ 11:53 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

someones whos serious yet childish at times.

that about sums me up.

and it takes a guy who have chatted with me twice to coined it perfectly.

@ 2:18 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

they say life is not a bed of roses.

but i say life is a bed of roses.

because roses have thorns. so if you are in a bed of roses, you enjoy the velvety touch of the petals and the sweet smell. but once in awhile, you get prick by their thorns.

just like life. you have your ups and downs.

dont you agree?

@ 1:42 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

i introduced my granny to the internet.

i showed her pictures of my cousins (namely Jiawen and KangHao) from their friendster and she was fascinated! hahaa.

the good thing about having internet connection at the shop:)

i love my granny~!

@ 1:05 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

i had a weird dream this morning. but it was nice nonetheless. i didnt know scolding someone in dreams could be so "relaxing". and the look on the person's face when i told the person to stop bothering me! priceless!

maybe it felt so good cause i cant actually do that in real life. but STILL.

on thursday before meeting the gang, i have to go to City Hall to FINALLY bring back the Giodarno top i bought 3 weeks ago. and then i may have to walk all the way to Suntec Tower B(or is it 3?) to collect my pay. hope that the July pay is ready! so i can collect 3months of pay in one-shot. *whoops* after which, i have to go to library@orchard to return my books and see if theres anything nice to borrow. and them i have to go to Kino to help my brother help find a book about office politics so that he can give it to his teacher who has decided to quit teaching. FINALLY, to save on my transport fares, i am going to (brace yourself, people!) WALK, to Doughby Ghaut to meet the gang at 5.30pm. hahaa.

anyway, shourui! thanks for using bubbly instead of sweet to describe me! lol:)

oh and i have some orientation talk the next day. wow.

i'm officially off from my thought-diet. been having some thoughts lately.

have you ever know someone for say a few weeks and then suddenly realise that the person is not who you think the person is? and you wish you never knew the person other than an acquaintance? i do.

@ 7:46 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.