decoding my laughter(:
i realised that i do have different types of laughter. i didnt realised it until i caught myself laughing. so heres some type of laughter i have discovered.

the "HAA" laugh - usually appears when i am being sarcastic.
the "ha-ha-ha" laugh - when i find something semi-funny.
the bent over+haha laugh - something is funny. but i am just being drama. or when something is funny but i dont feel like laughing.
the "vibration" laugh - when i find something funny.
the "vibration cross with haha" laugh - when something is really really funny.

yups. thats about it(:

reflecting on 2007(:
2007 is much better than 2006. in general, i am slightly more cheery and happy than i was back in 2006(: which is DEFINITELY better.

well, i delved into the darker side of me (excuse the dramatic words used). and it's like opening a can of worms. it feels like i have destroyed my future "happily ever after" because of what i did. i still dont regret it though. hey, at least i found out that i am not always make of sugar, spice and everything nice. right? it's safe to say that the "darker" side of me is locked away, buried and under control(:

i finally cured (well, kind of) my camp-sickness and went for camps. i was not as nutsy or as spontaneous or as out-spoken or as loud as i really am. for reasons that i will keep to myself because i really do not want to start the whole bitching cycle again. amen to that.

met up with my gurlies pretty much this year. for that i am thankful(: met up with ber usually at the start and the end of each semester for sinfully good food and quality stoning and emo session. i like(: thanks, babe! and for school, there's always scotchey there with me to complain and sampat with. which lightens quite a bit of stress(: thank you, pig! ai ni o~ and of course, there's people like yiling, joanne, degen, andrew and his brother (SHIT! i forgot his name!) who are there to make me laugh during the two sucky BAF core(: THEN! there's people like cockroach man, ojiisan, abner and zongfu whom i kajiao every now and then when i am bored/stressed. thanks, people(:

yups yups(: and if you dont see your name here but have made me laugh somewhere along the year, THANK YOU!(:

it's important to be thankful for the people around you, right? (:

can't complain much about 2007(: except that it passed by WAY too quickly. hahas.

new year resolution?
that's a secret. call me superstitious but everytime i let people know where i want to go or what i want to do, they NEVER happen.

like how i say i want to go to museum, IKEA, night safari etc this holidays? never happened. *shrugs*

so i'm not telling :X

thou shalt not speak about..BAKING!
i will not say i want to bake anymore:(

everytime i say, "I WANT TO BAKE!" i fall sick. i am serious! this is like so not fair !!! oh wells.

ending.
found this on postsecret -
let's JIAYOU together, me darlings(: no motivation? i'll help(:

no italics words today(:

@ 12:30 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

damn. the sun was shining the whole day! i could have gotten a tan in sentosa! *growls*

whatever, huishan. whatever. you were too chicken and anti-social to go. ADMIT IT!

lightning outside my windows again! literally.
@ 6:44 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

o4a4b class gathering(:
dragged my lazy ass to the gathering. and i'm glad i did(: because ingrid's place is fantabulous! i feel like i am in a showroom. if i thought daryl's house is huge and nice, ingrid's house is gigantic and dreamy(:

we were all so sua-ku. wow-ing everywhere we go. shall upload pictures from heli's camera soon(: have to kope from her first.

as the house mainly have glass doors, sotong heli walked into one-.- poor thing!

ohoh! MR NANDWANI IS GOING TO BE A DAD!!!! hahas. whee~! a little nandwani running around(:

one photo from my camera (i have messy hair in the others) - me and poon(:

tomorrow?
there's H2H gathering at sentosa (again). dont think i can wake up on time to go. so yeah.

my legs are aching!! damn. i have no idea why!

new year's eve and new year?
no plans. so yeah. rot at home and watch fireworks from my windows!

i know it cant be you.
@ 1:36 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

the thing about me.
the thing about me. i'm never firm enough. i am always saying, "i give up!" but i will always end up doing the opposite.

(talking in general) maybe thats why everytime i say, " why not you arrange(gathering) le and tell me?" it never works. because everyone knows i dont REALLY mean it.

it's time to give up on a friend, shan. more than one. those who havent been making an effort. those who are taking you for granted one too many times. don't be stupid and keep holding on. they are not going to be there when you need them, cant you see?

*snip snip* are you one of them?

miscellaneous.
i have no idea why. but i actually find chuck from gossip girl appealing. and he is not even tan!

watching gossip girl made me think about alot of things. the way i messed up my life this year. and everything else. it's suppose to be a bimbo show! hmm.

my sister is drunk. she is proclaiming very loudly that she's not. sheesh. she smells of alcohol *pinch nose*

i am getting emo-ish, arent i? tired. achey. semi-sick.

shoo, emo monster. shoo. (how many times have i said it this month?)

never to go down that road again? be happy with who i am and stop hating the word sweet?
@ 2:32 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

about weddings (well, the money involved).
i am having "girl-talk" with degen. omg. can you believe it? he is telling me that a table at marina mandarin hotel is like $1000! i almost died. $1000?!! his friend must be super rich.

alright, peeps! listen up! next time i get married, everyone is eating buffet! either that or we can go pizza hut/pasta mania. okay?! (:

the old people.
the old people. haa!

abner cant remember that he told me his results last night-.- he got 2A+ and 3As! gpa of 5.0, can? and he still say he got sucky results. *kicks*

i am surrounded by smart people. help?

never mind! everyone else, we will JIAYOU for the coming semester! it's the SPRING semester! so LET'S GO! *waves pom pom*

out with ber.
went out with ber today. little bit of shopping. semi-shopping i call it.

i bought a top from hypnosis! nice(:

i have a thing for white bottoms. tsktsk. and seriously, like what she said. i need some bling!

bedsheet shopping.
while waiting for dawn yesterday, i dragged sivan to aussino to look for bedsheets.

cant find any that i like. boohoo! went to BHG and found one i like! but it's like $169! *faints*

WHO WANTS TO GO IKEA WITH ME?

alright.
nothing much to say.

i woke up singing "Teardrops on my guitar." and this sentence was the one that keep resounding in my head.

she better hold him tight. and give him all her love. look into his beautiful eyes and know she's lucky.


@ 12:26 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

a phone call(:
i just got off the phone with kl(: my ears! ache-y~

but it's nice to talk to my marketing girls once in a while(:

the news.
pakistan's prime minister (or was it ex?) was killed in a bombing accident. gosh. this is scary.

and thailand's political situation is scary. they want democracy but whats happening? *sigh*

the reason why i am putting this up because my family have been talking about it. eeks.

ok...
off to watch gossip girls and then bed(:

@ 2:51 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

results.
here it is. not too good. but it's within expectations(:

my gpa went up by 0.04? so it's 3.67 now. if i didn't calculate wrongly. darn. i'm still aiming for that second upper class! but if not, a second lower class is okay too(: just try try TRY! right?(:

JIAYOU!

tell me how you guys did?(:

the change of blog add(:
i changed my blog add. duh. you guys already know. if not, you wont be here-.-

i couldnt think of anything. but somehow, giraffes and heels popped into my mind. so yeah.

giraffes with heels it is(:

tired.
i have no idea where all these exhaustion comes from. my whole body is ache-y. i am constantly tired. no matter how much or how long i sleep, it's not going away.

i feel like taking a syringe and suck out all the lactic acid in my legs (especially the thighs). so that i will STOP feeling so tired.

if i dont stop feeling so exhausted, i am going to end up being one EMO BITCH. trust me.

whatever.
school's starting. i will work harder! even though i dont know how hard i can still go. hmms.

but! the point is! this is the BRIGHT semester (thats how i label it). so yups!

check back soon for my new year resolutions/concluding remark on 2007 o.O

this is such a kick-ass song. i love rihanna!



I'm still waiting
Come through the door
I'm killing time
You know bleaching your clothes
I'm roasting marshmallows on the fire
And what I'm burning is your attire

I'm getting restless
I'm getting tested
And I can't believe he's always out every night
And never checks in
Is he cheating
Man I don't know
I'm looking 'round for something else to throw.
@ 12:56 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

kbox was cancelled. *shrugs*

and i didnt get to see baby chloe! :((

apparently, she dances! i want to see!!
@ 11:15 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

I Am Legend with sivan and cynthia(: nice! the company NOT the movie. the movie was okay. hahas.

then dinner with sivan at delifrance while waiting for dawn(: then the three of us went to MOS burger for dinner. then home!

baby chloe went for an operation:( poor thing. the ear infection was worse than i thought.

heading out for kbox with the devil sisters now.

back for results later(:

an uneventful day turned into a packed one(:
@ 9:00 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

my mum left the flu medicine out on the kitchen table(:

she knows i am lazy to search for it. especially since i am going to take it before heading to bed(:
@ 2:49 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i love gossip girl(:
it's nice! well, at least for now. but if catfights and misunderstandings happen one too many time then URGH.

for now. good music. pretty girls AND boys. FANTABULOUS clothes, shoes and bags(:

what i did today?
hmm. woke up early for tuition. both gemmi (my tutee) and i were snuffling. we have runny nose. hahas. oh wells.

came home and went to have lunch with mum at the market.

my body was aching really badly! so it was bedtime for me. slept at the sofa for an hour plus. woke up, had a tiny chat with my mum and then conked out until it was dinnertime.

then it was 9pm! whees~ TV! watched the news for a 2nd time with my dad. before i zipped into my parents' room to watch the korean show with my mum(: a little routine we've established since holidays started(:

i MUST start on my "咖啡王子一号店" soon! if not, when it starts showing on TV, my mum will divulge every little thing to me. *horrors*

places i want to go!
since i cant travel overseas this holiday, i want to be a tourist for a day in Singapore! i mean, i have to make do right?

go to the tourist-ey place. night safari, museum, sentosa, IKEA (okay, not tourist-ey. but i like their display!), haw par villa and etc. but everyone seems to think i am mad for wanting to go these place :(

anyone wants to join me?(:

winding down.
alien vs predator is out! whees~ i want to watch, i think. hahas.

results will be out on friday! 12 midnight i think. excited? think so. scared? eh..not really. STAY TUNE!

i realised i have bestie's time-table for this semester! whees~ now i know when she's studying and when she's not(:

i have a $10 mind cafe rebate/voucher! anyone wants to go? utilize it! someone!

04a4b gathering on saturday!

h2h gathering on sunday! *praying for good weather*

go for both? go for one? hmms.

this is where eyeore is tonight(:

as much as an BFF can make you go WTF, theres no denying that life will be a little less rich without them(: - gossip girl
@ 1:55 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i am sick:(

but i have no idea why. i've been a good girl becalduse i drink 8 glasses of water everyday. just fyi, i used to drink less than 2 glasses everyday! and i have been sleeping 8 hours everyday. why me?

oh what i would give to have someone to sayang me now:(

to bring me bitter herbal tea and chicken soup. to sneak me tiny bits of chocolate. to make me laugh so i wont concentrate on the aches. to urge me to take my medicine and put a towel on my forehead. checking up on me every now and then.

:(

off for a nap.

the movies are accumulating! they are almost as long as my shows to watch list!

@ 2:29 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

gossip girl is really gossipy!

and i love the "xoxo, gossip girl" part(: it will make a really good sms tone! if only my hp can personalize sms tone:(

but i cant believe saran watches gossip girl! it's so bitchy! opps.

no matter where we're going, it starts from who we are.
@ 1:39 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

to the scotchey(:
hello, 幸福的女人! i can possibly die from sweet-ness hearing about you and boyboy. hahas.

anyways, i was on the bus home when i remembered that i have to tell you this! if you and boyboy are going to countdown in a tent this year, please remember that SEVEN-ELEVEN sells INSECT REPELLENT! remember ok?(:

hees. ai ni o~

the whole BGR gah-bra.
you know how when people becomes a couple, the girl will going to the guy's gatherings and vice versa?

i dont think i will ever do that. why? because i dont mix well with others. hahas. and i dont expect the guy to come to my gatherings. because hey! i dont want to go to his, so i shouldnt expect him to come to mine right? yups.

ok.....

so this is christmas part 2(:
work was work. met up with my sister and sophie during my lunch break(: i keep drinking my sister's coke. opps. i'm a coke-a-holic(:

by the time i reach home, it was already 9 *faints* watch tv and bathed. so here i am!

i dont know. another christmas alone.

but working kinda of divert my attention away from that fact? am i okay with that? *shrugs* let's not dwell on that, shall we?

nothing else.
this is where eyeroe is sitting today(:

it fell off my desk lamp. so it's sitting next to my lappy now(:

i better run before i become emo!

ANYONE WANTS TO WATCH I AM LEGEND?!

oh yeah. i might change my blog add soon. IF! i can think of a good add-.-

@ 11:07 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

so this is christmas(:
whees~ MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!! ((:

the christmas dinner(:
the christmas dinner was FUN! much entertainment from mabel and sivan. or should i say wimp and loser. because one was pointing L and the other was doing a W. both of them talk to their pinkies. scary.

but cyn and i was highly entertained. and we are the normal people here(: cyn laughed until she cried-.-
we had a tiny gift exchange. and i drew my own name-.- mabel lahs! hahas. but we love her anyway(: so i drew sivan's name and she drew mine! i got a snoopy book! and i gave her a tigger bear! i forgot to remove the price tag by the way-.- hees. so here's my lovely gurlies on our 2nd christmas eve dinner together!
tutee gave me a present!(:
my tutee gave me a present! a necklace that i would have wear if i am still in secondary school. and a hp strap(: sweet!

poor baby chloe!
my brother came back from my auntie's house and told me that baby chloe has ear infection :( and her ear is swollen. so poor thing! and she got a cut right across her nose.

she was in a lousy mood today. *heart breaks*

all rights!
i couldnt resist and bought the eyeore(: but i dont know what to do with it. so it's currently sitting on my desk lamp(:

hmms. cute?

have yourself a merry merry christmas, everyone(:


@ 1:18 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

my dad and grams have left for the church's 50th anniversary and christmas celebration.

my brother and sister will be heading out later.

i am heading out for christmas dinner with the girls later.

that leaves my mum alone in the shop. well, technically my uncle is there as well. but! he might as well dont be. because he dont do much.

and i am worried. will there be a crowd? can my mum handle it? *sigh*

OEI! my mum just carried a basket (containing 18 bottles) of beer out! she's not suppose to carry heavy stuff! she should have called me to carry! HAIYO!

how can i not worry? you tell me!
@ 5:40 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i am craving for sweet stuff.

chocolate. brownie. donuts. souffle. eclairs. cream puffs. frapucinno.

all these are on my list of "Things NOT to eat if you want clear skin"! sheesh.

maybe i will make an exception tomorrow?(:

hey, dont judge me! it's christmas! hahas.

they should have a chocoholic anonymous. or sweet-tooth-a-holic anonymous. (:

@ 2:23 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i'm sorry.

i am clamming up again. closing up. not revealing much. not willing to talk much.

hiding behind walls.

i dont know why. but yes, i am clamming up.

i shouldnt be. because ber's back. scotchey's back. all my friends are back in singapore! i should be psyched. i am. but i just...*shrugs*
@ 2:00 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

plans for xmas eve and xmas(:
a simple dinner with the girls on christmas eve. then i am most probably going to head home and watch tv. no countdown for me.

then i am working on christmas day. i guess, it's a good way to spend christmas. since i dont have any dates. yups. so work it is!

my little project(:
this was what i was doing last week:

handmade christmas cards(: i was cracking my head for ideas. but eventually, i came up with 6. *phew*

most of you are most probably going to receive the cards AFTER christmas. because i have yet to send them out. *opps* some of you are receiving soft copy instead(:

cockroach man said that my rudolph looks like a cockroach! i think he needs to get his eyes checked ;p it's worse than me reading his blog add wrongly! -.- hahas.

new year's eve and day.
hmm. no plans. i never have plans for new year's day or eve. so yeah. i am most probably going to spend it alone at home. no biggie.

it's just 2008. nothing much.

okies, nothing much to say. but i have almost done all the things i said i am going to do this holiday. except one.

when wishing on a star didnt work.

@ 12:12 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i cant find the mp3 on imeem. so the video will have to do.

触摸 - Diya



听说南方从来不会有寂寞
听说在海边世界没有尽头
你哭覂告诉我
你和他梦想的种种
我会是你雨天的湖泊
拥抱你的温柔

好想看你的笑容
对离开的他说
你心中那份美丽
怎么找都不会再有

轻轻触摸未来遥远的风
有一天你会找回你的梦
幸福是看得透而不是
舍不得他的所有

慢慢触摸天空暖暖的火
我在这天黑了也不会走
你的快乐除了他
还有我永远守候
不要难过


听说冬天叶子熟了会脸红
听说在天空有迷人的星座
一起去探险吧
也许你会喜欢而感动
你沉默的时候
我知道你的心还很痛
@ 1:56 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

out of boredom, i googled deyi.

the first thing that caught my eye was, "click here to read our principal's message"

my mind went, "whatever she says, it's crap."

i'm sorry. i really dont like her. and everyone who was in deyi before her rein will agree with me.

then i went to look at the CCA section. and i realised that WE HAVE AN ODAC CLUB!! omg. lead by mr wilson lee! oh man. ODAC eh! damn it. why cant they have it in our year?:(

then i went to look for deyi student council or peer support leader or student leader. DONT HAVE! omg. how can? *angry*

yes, just some findings.
@ 12:16 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

so...this is what i blogged in myspace a week ago..

"this guy. is it me or is it me? do everyone actually BROWSE through profiles in friendster and myspace and all those other networks? and add people/strangers who(whom?) they think are good-looking or are potential fuck material (excuse the language)?

i'm sorry to say this. i really don't like these people. i mean, if you are seriously interested to be friends with the person, i have nothing to say. but JUST BECAUSE they are good looking or look like a good fuck? sheesh. how desperate can you get?

sorry if i offended anyone. but seriously."

and guess who replied and gave me kudos for it? guess!

oh come on. it's not THAT hard. give up?

BANANA ASS replied and commented, " good point made."

wtf. wth. what good point made? yes, i know i made a good point. but you are NOT entitled or given the right to comment as if you DONT browse through profiles and add girls who you think are PRETTY or have HUGE BOOBS.

don't pretend that you dont belong in that category of people i am talking about. so BUGGER OFF!

PISSED.
@ 11:49 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

bernice chua! you're back((:

where's my nepal kid?
@ 2:54 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

what would you do if find out that you have 5 months with the person that you love? and at the end of 5 months, the person is not going to die, but to leave to be with someone that he/she owes a responsibility to?

would you make the best of the 5 months and take the known outcome of getting hurt? because every minute spent together is a minute worth treasuring.

or would you curb the hurt now and avoid the person at all cause?

what would you do?

just some thoughts from watching ugly betty.

me? i would like to believe that i am brave and will take the first choice. but knowing myself, i will probably end up doing option 2. oh wells.

he is that guy. but i am not that girl.
@ 1:53 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

Achmed the Terrorist - Jingle Bombs(:


@ 12:06 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

my mum's been getting headaches recently. alot.

and i'm scared. i have been trying my hardest to push it aside. to put all the blame on stress. on menopause. to blame it on every other thing in the world but that.

not that. please. we are so close to that mark.

i dont know how to bring up the subject of asking her to go to a specialist. i really dont.

i am scared. just the thought of the possibilities is scaring me shitless.

it's enough to make me cry. and cry and cry. and i am almost crying now. the positive thoughts are losing.

please let her be alright.

if being close to my mum means bad things, then i rather we keep a distance.
@ 2:10 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

work(:
work was surprisingly okay today. gabby and i were in the late shift. but busy busy busy! i've been poked and poked and poked! and meiling and gabby didnt:( no fair!

oh yeah. EMBARRASSING thing happened. i was making funny faces and playing with this little baby outside. and so my back was facing a customer. and the customer saw me! she was laughing-.- opps.

the way a parent look at their own baby is really touching. this dad was carrying his 3 month old baby who was sleeping. and he smiled at her in the way only parents can. it warms people up. i smiled when i saw him smile that special smile at his baby(:

on the bus home(:
saw this really sweet(?) couple.

you know those seats that faces each other. the boyfriend and the girlfriend were sitting opposite each other. i think the girl was not feeling well. the boyfriend keep standing up and helping her adjust the air-con without the girl saying a thing. nice(:

but of course, when he adjusted the aircon away from the girlfriend. it ended up blowing at me-.- *sneeze*

miscellaneous stuff.
working on xmas day. gabby will be on leave. but joey will be around. hopefully meiling will be there too. then we will almost have the whole gang in JP last year!(:

new year's eve will be spent nuar-ing at home? o.O but somehow this year, i feel like going out to the beach and look at the stars. but oh wells! home can be nice too. away from the scary crowd *shrinks in horror*

i cant feel my legs:( lousy! it's only 9 hours! i used to do this everyday! old liao:(

oh right. i am starting to like felicia chin. i like her skin~ hahas. and the reason why i am watching the 9pm show is because of her. i've never seen her act. so yeah. my brother went, "EH! i thought you dont like her?"

that was true! but since she CAN host like fiona xie, i like her too(: so out of the 7 princess, i like 3! that's felicia chin, fiona xie and rui en (because she's super shuai qi)! i will NEVER over my DEAD body like joanne peh. full stop. you are all given the permission to kick me if i ever say i like her.

been thinking. what should i do to my hair for CNY? perm? rebond? been there, done that.

short like AJ from ANTM 7?

nah. too high maintenance. and you guys know how LAZY i am with hair.

something like chantal from ANTM 9?

okay. i like the fringe. but i think i will end up complaining. and everyone is going to suffer. and my forehead is going to suffer too! HMM.

if your sky is grey let me know.

@ 12:02 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

see you later, calculator.

my mind keeps drifting off to drafting out the "ideal" boyfriend. but i have been reeling it back. no way am i going down that road. because what comes after that is an endless cycle of negative thoughts.

ugly betty was nice(: henry is cute in a geeky kind of way. haa.

my eyes are itching again.

thoughts floating around. but i am trying my hardest not to catch them or let them stop.

i'll bet she's beautiful. the girl he talks about. and she's got everything that i have to live without.

yet to watch magorium emporium. i guess i'll just wait for the vcd ya? but "I Am Legend" is a definite must watch for me. anyone?

"Teardrops on My Guitar" has been on constant replay. i was singing on the way home. in dad's shop. in the bathroom. i guess, it's just a song that really suits anyone that has ever had a crush.

emo monster, shoo. shoo.

saw my grams today(: but she went off to take a nap after awhile. oh wells(:

smile. and the world smiles with you? i dont want to rely on anyone to make me smile.

@ 2:16 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

cramps.
woke up with cramps. and headache.

on my way out, my parents (who were having breakfast) told me to take some panadol menstrual pills. i refused to. because i dont want to get reliant on the pills.

in a sick and twisted kind of way, i feel "stronger", everytime my cramps decides to flips and twist my stomach. hmm.

i almost puked while i was in the lift though. i cant stand the smell. any strong smell at that.

pampered?
so i went for the tuition and came back.

i feel kind of pampered today(: because of my cramps, my dad and mum are really protective about what i eat. i cant even drink yakult. or eat jelly. or eat sour plum.

and my mum made me some drink (i think it's ginger and black sugar) that's suppose to help relieve cramps. dont know if it works. but i fell asleep in front of the tv after that(:

my dad cooked me instant noodles today. my mum went out so no one was around to cook dinner. so my dad seeing that i am having headache, cooked instant noodles for me! whee~

maybe i look really scary this month. because my face is seriously drained of colour. like REALLY. and in my 8 years of pms, i NEVER have cramps AND headache at all. tsktsk. i am getting old AND weak. tsktsk.

i have shrunk?
saran made this comment on saturday, "why do you look like you have shrunk? *gestures with his hands*" i have?

i put on my old old top and it seems bigger and i asked my mum, "why's the shirt so big?!" my mum went, " you have shrunk!" omg. i have? but why do i feel like i have grown bigger? hmm.

work tmr. going to sleep soon.
@ 12:01 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i spent the whole day in my room. sleeping and reading the day away. cramps were slept away too. restful(: i think i spoke less than 10 sentences today. all ready for work on thursday and friday? hopefully. i know it's going to crazy because of christmas. JIAYOU.

tuition tomorrow.

all that sleeping got my brains recharged. which means i am going to start doing circles in my head very soon. not good. hopefully, work will put a temporary stop to that?

i need to start writing on those cards. if not, it will be too late! i think i am going to buy cookies from breadtalk to give my perlini's colleague(: i really cant think of anything else that's cheap AND practical-.-

heard this on the radio while setting questions for my tuition tmr. i highly encourage you guys to google for its lyrics(:



She better hold him tight,
And give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes
and know she's lucky cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishin on a wishin' star
He's the song in the car I keep singing,
Don't know why I do.

mind's pretty blank right now. so yeah.
@ 1:20 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

ugly betty rocks(: whees~

i didnt know thursday is a public holiday. darn. i'm working on that day. all the holiday movies going down the drain:( let's just hope there's no late crowds that day. *fingers crossed*

my brother told reminded me that chewy, gummy sweets usually contains gelatin. and he checked out the ingredients in fruitips (my favorite sweet) and told me that it's the 4th ingredient listed. i almost puked. because i just ate a whole tube of them!

i have this funny theory about animals/things that i eat. i am not a vegetarian but i dont eat fish fish or any meat that appears in it's "original" form. i dont eat vegetables fried with shrimp. i dont like seafood. and the list goes on and on..

but i have no rules on dessert(: oh! just one! no almond please(:

i'm so gonna rest tomorrow. i might be un-contactable the whole day cause my hp might be off. so anything, just msn me or something.

what i want now now.
my headache is killing me. it feels as if someone is sitting on my head. urgh.

my whole body is aching.

won't it be nice to have someone to snuggle up to? to tuck my cold feet in between his? and then fall asleep. to bring me chicken soup? ice-blended sour plum bubble tea?

no, i shan't be weak. i am fine on my own. i will be.

kokology whenever(:
Planting the Seeds
You are an eminent scientist who has bee working to develop a new species of plant. You have spent years in your lab experimenting, and now your efforts have begun to show results. As the ultimate test of the hardiness of your creation, you plant 100 seeds of the new strain in an inhospitable desert location.

How many of those 100 seeds sprout?

a little distraction.
i was helping out in my dad's shop today. then the sales guy from pantene came. i was telling him that the shop was out of "Pantene Balanced Clean" and he told me that it was axed *horrors* my hair is going to die! but, he is quite a nice guy. he went to his car and got me a small bottle of sample of the newest line of Pantene shampoo(: whees~

i just spent $166 on facial care products. cleanser, foam and toner. i am so screwed. *breathes* anything for pretty skin? gosh, how vain can you get, huishan?

anyone uses FANCL makeup remover? i have a new bottle and i am sensitive to it. i am selling for half price! hahas. it comes with free MAC mascara (ok, fine. i bought the mascara but i only used it a few times and my lashes keep dropping. so i might as well give it away.)

i was watching ANTM 9 in the living room. my sister and brother sat down and watch too (because i was waay too excited). in the end, they got hooked-.- and my sister thinks that i should be called, "Chantal" instead of "Claudia". but seriously! both are sophisticated name. so i rather go by, "shans" (:

no sweet dreams last night. i had nightmares:(

kokology revealed(:
The number you gave as an answer correlates to your self-confidence level. In this story, the scientist stands for feelings of confidence or even pride. On the other hand, the hostile environment represents a difficult challenge or test and therefore elicit feelings of doubt and uncertainty. People who answered higher numbers felt greater affinity with the scientist and have high confidence levels. Those who answered with lower numbers felt the challenge was too great and have correspondingly lower self-confidence.

99 - 100 It's an understatement to sya you're self-confident; maybe a better word would be "vain". Sure, it's important to believe in yourself, but you tend to dismiss the challenges of the rest of the world. Don't forget that one of the truest signs of strength is accepting one's weaknesses.

81 - 98 You radiate confidence in yourself and your own capabilities, but somehow it doesn't come across as arrogance. Those around you generally feel it as a sense of cool certainty, making you a natural leader wherever you go.

61 - 80 Maybe you're best described as a cautious optimist, hoping for the best but always prepared for the worst. That realistic philosophy keeps you grounded when others might lose their heads in the clouds.

41 - 60 Your self-confidence is in the average range. Maybe you're still finding out what it is you're best at, or maybe you just have a healthy respect for the difficulties that stand before you. Believe in yourself and the world will follow suit.

21 - 40 While you don't doubt yourself entirely, you tend to overestimate the challenges confronting you. You may excuse this tendency as simple resignation to the facts, buy your pessimistic outlook affects the way other people see you. The only way for you to inspire confidence in others is first to have it in yourself.

1 - 20 It's one thing to be humble, but you need to focus o developing a better sense of your own value. There's nothing wrong with believing you can achieve great things, and with a little hard work, you can. The only thing holding you back is you.

0. What looks like an utter lack of confidence is actually a sign of perfectionistic pride. You can't tolerate tht thought of being proven wrong or even making a mistake, so you pretend that everything is too difficult for you. If you don't learn to face those fears, you may fool the world into thinking you;re a ne'er-do-well, but you'll always know that you never even tried.

concluding?
was it accurate? mine was pretty okay(:

i am always the secretary/butler for the family during the holidays-.- so far, the list of things to do is to buy a photo frame, develop an 8R family photo, help me dad enquire about the refund of the cigarette license, help my mum fill in her warranty card. but at least there's something i can do(:

alright, the headache is killing me.

these 2 months is the hardest to get by for singletons. but we'll survive! ((:

@ 1:59 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

it didnt rain yesterday, did it? i doubt it's going to rain today(:

i am working on christmas day. yups. they say they are short of people. but what i dont get is that there's only ONE shift on christmas day! so all full-timers should be present. so not enough? hmm. oh wells. my final time helping them out.

i know i have said it a GAZILLION MAZILLION times but this time is FOR REAL. sompa! hahas.

tuition was ok today(: facial at 2. i will bear the pain! *pirate cry*



heard this song on my way home. brought back memories of PSL camp(: sitting in a huge circle, everyone tired, everyone hoarse from all the shouting, candles in a puddle in front of us but all of us still singing our guts out. and most of us end up tearing(: memories(:

what happened to PSL and council after our batch? war broke out? the power struggle became too much? why are we call student leaders now? and when did they stop calling the seniors back for camp?

i know the answer for council. my juniors are afraid that seniors will take over their power. wtf. what about PSL?

i miss camp. campfires. ENGLISH cheers. because cheers in NBS are a total different thing:(

there is a fountain. washes our tears all away. worlds are swaying, somebody's praying. please let us come here to stay.
@ 12:59 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

the dream.
had a pretty nice dream last night/this morning. couldnt remember much.

just remembered waiting outside someplace for a guy to end his lesson. then when i saw him walking out, i ran over and hugged him(:

then! the sweetest part was we started walking and holding hands. and he brought up both our hands and pecked it(: awww~

miscellaneous stuff.
i am a little angry. i just bought my favorite jam sandwich home from marks and spencer yesterday. i opened it this morning, had 3. and when i went to the kitchen, the whole packet is FINISHED.

no, wait. the person is very kind (all sarcasm intended). HE left one miserable one in the packet and didnt even bother to tie it up. GREAT.

the HE is MY DAD! and the reason why i am so angry is NOT BECAUSE he ate all of it. but because every single time i buy it, he will say, " that biscuit 漏风de. you still buy? so expensive some more." wah lao eh! 漏风 漏风 漏风. then you still eat? obviously it's nice right? then ADMIT IT! so i will remember to buy more packets home! ANGRY.

oh, did i mention my dad ate the BIRTHDAY CAKE bestie bought for me too? WITHOUT MY PERMISSION! *screams*

shall complain to mum tomorrow.

and when my sister and i were playing reversi just now, he shouted at us (while eating my biscuit!). say we are too noisy etc etc. excuse me! would you rather the both of us (sister and i) not interact at all? and we are talking very softly. my brother de maple game is louder than us. besides, how noisy can a game of reversi be?

sorry. maybe i am pms-ing. that's why i am very protective of my things and rather territorial.

now what am i suppose to have for snacks?

tuition tmr. and a very painful facial session tmr. my mum booked it for me. the 3 GIGANTIC pimples have to go.

i never know what love is. who can show me?
@ 2:04 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

oh yeah.

bernice chua! if you are reading my archives when you come back from nepal, i have 1 thing to tell you and 1 thing to ask you! REMIND ME! you are coming back next saturday! (: 14 days over in a zoom.

LIM HAN WEI (aka scotchey/roomie)! after you come back from batam or your msia trip, i have 1 thing to tell you about our "dearest friend"! REMIND ME! but i doubt you will read this. lols.
@ 3:19 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

the so-called gathering.
so..the gathering was disappointing. only two of the juniors turned up and they went home. why? because they have a sucky way of calling people for a gathering. they send out mass sms about the gathering. NO ONE replied. but they assume people will be coming. in the end, 2 turned up. excellent.

and do you know what's the best part? joshua said that next time, i should do ALL the calling and not SPLIT the work. no thank you. no sorry. WTH! there won't be a next time. bestie was so pissed when i told her that.

this is how you organise a gathering. you send out mass sms and wait for reply. no replies? send out another sms. still no replies? assume everyone is NOT coming. URGH. whatever.

but the old people met(:
so after the juniors left, the old people (ie my batch) met up. erm..not alot. just me, ling, juan, saran and xianyang. gaya and lai couldnt make it. i dont have tracy's number. billy didnt reply. santo is in UK. so is brata. yuting cannot make it. i know prem will never come. that's about it?

but we had fun! we ate at LJS then went to coffee club and then went to mind cafe(: played lots of bimbotic games!

the manager of mind cafe sucks. but one of the staff was really nice. he introduced games to us and when we are done will introduce some more. and he was the one who help us chop the Snorta game! hahas.

played until 12+ then me ling saran and xianyang went for tau hua. nice(: whees~

some ugly pictures(:


i love my council board(:

the pimple season?
i have no idea why i am popping so many pimples these days. and i just went for facial 2 weeks ago! the lady even said my face was quite clear.

I KNOW! MY FACE IS LAGGING!

i am suppose to have a lot of HUGE, PUS-FILLED pimples during exams because of all the junk food i have been consuming and all the stress. but NO! my face was clear! the only pimples were those REALLY tiny ones. and they disappear pretty quickly.

SO! now my face finally caught up! that's why! omg! i am depressed.

i think i need to go for another facial. bye bye moolahs!

ok...
i had a great day today(: out with my council board then talked with bestie on the phone after that.

i am ready for a bad day/week.

for that, i need sleep!

keep bleeding. keep keep bleeding in love. you cut me open.
@ 2:34 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

so the gathering is tomorrow. and we have no idea who or how many is going to come. because both batch of people do not reply messages. which means, i cant even ESTIMATE and reserve seats for us. so, let's just hope for the best. *fingers crossed*

i just completed season 2 of heroes(: UGLY BETTY next! maybe. or i should just watch the pile of VCDs i bought. hmm.

the sister is away. some class chalet thing.

been reading my post from last december. gosh. i feel like slapping myself. and slapping him. how bloody desperate can i get? fuck. excuse the language. now, if i am hiro and i can time-travel, i am going to go back to last year and knock some sense into myself. stop the misery. thank goodness, i got over him and kicked him out of my life. miserable bastard. opps. but seriously! makes my blood boil.

oh wells.

kokology weekly daily whenever(:
In the pages of a magazine
You've just bought a copy of a popular weekly magazine and taken it home to read. How do you go through the features inside?

1. Read the whole magazine in order from first page to last.
2. Jump straight to the article that you know will interest you and read only them.
3. Flip randomly through the pages and read anything that seems worthwhile.
4. As long as the format hasn't bee changed, you'd read the features in the same order as you always do.

commercial break.
so here are the modules i am doing next semester.

• Wealth Planning
• Research Methods
• Communication Studies
• Evolutionary Psych/Korean Level 1/Japanese Level 1

looks like a tough semester. projects, projects, projects, projects. project much? oh gosh. but i will survive! because! more project means less weightage on final exams? *hopeful*

i want to watch magorium emporium! but everyone thinks that it's a stupid show. crap.

i want to watch I Am Legend too! virus, "zombies" and one last immune human. just my kind of movie(:

oh! and do you know that for every 45seconds of waiting time, the taxi meter is going to jump by 20cents. i mean WTH! how long is a traffic light? if i'm a taxi driver, i am going to look for a street with PLENTY of traffic lights. *thinks* okay, i think the road leading to my house counts. no more taxi!

ENOUGH!

kokology revealed(:
The way you budget your reading time reveals your approach to handling resources, especially money.
1. Read the whole magazine in order from first to last page. You're the type who knows where every penny of your money is and what's it's being spent on. It's not that you're all that concerned about your budget or financial planning; you just feel more comfortable when you know exactly how things stand. You hate the thought of missing something, so you keep all your accounts in order and know the current balance of your checking account.

2. Jump straight to the articles that you know will interest you and read only them.
Money burns a hole in your pocket. If you have it, you use it to buy whatever that catches your fancy and think, "Maybe I'll start a saving accounts next month", as you spend your last dime. If you have managed to save something, it's not unusual for you to make a trip to the cash machine to make a withdrawal just to give you something to do.

3. Flip randomly through the pages and read anything that seems worthwhile.
You'd say you are economical. Some would call it stingy. The fact is you don't spend frivolously or waste your resources, preferring to save it for a rainy day. You'll never get carried away with impulse buying or max out your credit cards shopping on cable TV, but you might want to loosen up those purse strings on occasion. After all, money is there to help you live well.

4. As long as the format hasn't been changed, you'd read the features in the same order as you always do.
You keep spending according to habit regardless of changes that take place in your life. If you it the lottery, it would be hard for you to stop shopping at discount stores. Alternately, if you were facing bankruptcy, you might still insist on designer label clothes. You can't be bothered worrying about the vagaries of fortune, which would make it a good idea for you to hook up with a partner who can, and let him or her handle the finances.

mine was quite accurate. but i can see some potential inaccuracies? o.O

it's going to be better year next year! (:


@ 2:34 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

HS 101 Lesson 101 – How to help the organizer.

1. ALWAYS try to RSVP as soon as possible.
2. If you can’t do the above, ALWAYS reply within ONE DAY. Apologise if necessary. BUT, make sure you really mean it. Not because it’s going to get you out of trouble.
3. In the event that you seriously FORGET, then don’t bother. Because you don’t really care about the gathering do you? You never forget things you care about. So yeah.
4. If you can’t make it at the suggested date/time, please tell the organizer and suggest the next convenient date/time for you.
5. If the organizer was kind enough to send a second reminder to you, please REPLY IMMEDIATELY.
6. If you can make it for the gathering but you have to come at a later time, please inform the organizer of the time you are going to arrive. DO NOT reply with, “I will be coming at a later time.”
7. If asked for suggestions of where to go, DO NOT give the answer, “I’m fine with anything” or anything in that category of answers.

That’s all for today. Keep it in mind if you dont want to die a "horrible death"(:

I'm quirky in this kind of way. But then again, if you have organised as many gatherings as I have, you will realise how helpful these things are! seriously, my council is the worse of all. 'nuff said.

@ 12:00 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i woke up with an overwhelming sense of dread.

tried to go back to sleep but it was useless so i started reading.

but what came next was utter UGRH! this overwhelming sense/fear of being alone. especially next week. and the week of christmas.

if i can cry now, it would feel so much better. but i cant. wth.

ok, there's kokology weekly in my first post of the day(: just in case you guys are lazy to read through my gabbrish.

so...what now?
@ 1:39 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

kristen bell or ali larter? i think most guys will like kristen bell. the pretty blonde with huge brown eyes.

i like ali larter. maybe because kristen bell's character just popped out in heroes and the character is way too whiney and manipulative for my liking.

ANTM finals is between chantal and saleisha! hoorah! ANTM tomorrow(:

korean or evolutionary psych? i cant decide which one i want more :X

ENOUGH about time table! being kept awake by nightmares about subject registration last night was bad enough. i'm exhausted!

oyasumi~

if things weren't that complicated. if people aren't afraid of getting hurt and just voice it out. will the whole relationship thing be easier?
@ 3:25 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

do you get the feeling where you dont feel like going to a gathering you organised? i always do. but being the person that i am, i will always go to the gathering filled with dread. sometimes, the gathering will proof me wrong. sometimes, not. that's why i hate to go for HUGE gatherings. hmm.

i did some arts and craft this afternoon. it was nice(: and time passed really quickly! but! i am not mrs ong. my arts and craft are not as pretty as hers. but they will have to do. hope the people i did them for will like it(: LIMITED EDITION, ok? and...MADE WITH LOVE(: *goosebumps*

i found a box of really old crayons while packing. bought it back in sec one? they are barely used. so! i used to it to decorate my list of shows to watch and pinned it up my corkboard:

nice? crayons, torn paper and thumb! hees(: i also found some super huge color pencils. which is probably useless now cause i lost the sharpener with the huge hole. *fumes* waste of money!

i just showed my arts and craft to my siblings. they didnt even look at it. seriously, am i the only one in my family who loves to do arts and crafts? i REALLY think so. come to think of it, i am the only one who has plenty of photos and decorations in my room. i guess, my family just dont have the time? even when they do, they prefer to spend it in front of the tv or sleeping. oh wells(:

oh yeah! havent had this for awhile. so here we go!

kokology daily weekly(:
a short one. maybe not that accurate. but i promise a long one soon!

You're Only Human
You're walking down the street, thinking of other things, when you stumble into a garbage can on the sidewalk and knock it over. What comes spilling out from under the lid?

1. Nothing comes out - the can was empty.
2. A pile of loose trash spills out onto the street.
3. Apple cores, chicken bones, and other raw garbage.
4. A well-tied black plastic garbage bag.

some distractions first.
i didnt put the rubber bands for my braces today. bad bad. my ulcers (or blister as i like to call it) is still looming large. pain!

been thinking about friends. sometimes i wonder if i am stupid. doing things, showing concern and taking the initiative to stay in touch all the time. for example, i will buy food to my friends JUST BECAUSE. i will send messages to my friends JUST BECAUSE.

sometimes i wonder if my friends feel weird out by my actions. or if they secretly laugh behind my back and say, "it's that huishan again. giving/doing things that's unnecessary. oh well." sometimes i wonder if my friends are getting used to me always being there. always the first one to arrive when they scream for help. always the one doing stuff for them.

sometimes i wonder, what will happen if i stopped? what if i disappear? will they miss the little things that i always do for them? *shrugs*

my mum do tell me that i am kind of stupid because of what i am doing. she asked me to stop. well, i tried. but i cant. i just like to do little things for my friends to make them smile. i dont know.

bestie dont like the way i do these stuff too. i think. hmm.

and! because i am so used to do these little little things, i tend to treat guys i like in the same way as i treat my normal guy friends. now, how am i suppose to get attached in this ways? *shrugs* stay single forever? hahas. oh yeah!?

okok, rubbish time over. RESULTS!

kokology revealed(:
In your carelessness you overturned a garbage can, dumping out something that had been neatly shut away and exposing it for all the world to see. Your image of the can's contents reveal things inside you that you try to hide from public view.

1. Nothing comes out - the can was empty.
People who gave this answer tend to live their lives without making displays or false pretenses. What you see is what you get. It's this simple honesty that gives them their charm.

2. A pile of loose trash spills out onto the street.
Those of you who said the can was full of loose trash may seem to be straightforward and forthright to others but actually have a pile of unexpressed feelings locked up within. You may notice these feelings as a general sense of frustration, but when you think about it, aren't there places where you've been holding back from saying the things you really feel?

3. Apple cores, chicken bones and other raw garbage. (the crappiest answer)
People who imagined a pile of kitchen waste are suppressing their appetites and the natural desire for food. Maybe you're on (or just avoiding) a diet. Or trying to save money by cutting back on eating expenses. Whatever the case, it's taking its toll on you.

4. A well-tied black plastic garbage bag.
People who saw a neatly tied garbage bag have a strong sense of self-control. Maybe too strong. You hate to show weakness or make complaints - your pride won't allow it. But letting others know how you really feel is no sign of weakness. Loosen up the drawstrings and let in some air before all the garbage goes bad and starts to smell.

(adapted from Kokology: The Game of Self-Discovery by Tadahiko Nagao and Isamu Saito)

so what was your answer? is it accurate? (:



At Christmas time it's hard, but when you're having fun
There's a world outside your window
And it's a world of dread and fear
Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears
And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom
Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you

i need movie partners! *hollers*

@ 1:27 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

i have this habit of keeping birthday messgaes. i know they are all the same. but i like to keep them(: somehow it makes me smile if i read it sometime in the year. i will only delete it on my NEXT birthday. hahas. SO! now, my handphone is out of space!!!! opps.

why? because i kept some other miscellaneous sms-es that makes me smile too. like sms-es where scotchey and i sound really sampat and etc(:

no space!

i need to start on my craft work soon! but i am so tired! i barely slept last night what if all the nightmares about subject registration.

i want to smile. make me, wont you?
@ 3:32 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

for the first time, my subject registration went very smoothly. to the point that i just sat there and stared at the screen. not believing it. hahas.

THREE DAY WEEK!! EVOLUTIONARY PSYCH!!!

they have korean level 1!!!! for now i am putting it as a second choice. i'm so sorry jap:( you are number 3. hahas.

whees~

anyone's AB213 index is 317? AB214 - 337?
@ 10:11 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

so, everyone noticed how much pimples are popping out on my face these days. i was complaining to my mum and she keeps blaming it on my FANCL make-up remover. the thing is! i havent even start using it-.- and my face do not GLOW. i am just a sickly shade of pale. urgh.

but yes, my mum told the facial lady and i am suppose to bring all my skin care products down to her shop one of these days so we can all figure out what's the cause. hmm. VAIN!

fastest fingers first tmr. just let me get my bloody course!

angry about council gathering. cause the response from my batch is PATHETIC. i sms-ed everyone and it's a NON-RESPONSE. my batch! hello?

and seriously, i DO NOT believe that people can actually FORGET to rely an sms. it doesnt matter that you reply LATE. but for god's sake, goodness sake and whoever's sake, REPLY!! if you dont? well, maybe you dont care enough for that person huh? well, maybe i shouldnt care too. and again, i am NOT targeting anyone here and this is NOTHING NEW. check my blog post last year and you will find that i have said the same thing before. so dont go alien on me.

only bestie knows what i mean. full stop.

ok, bed time.



It's not over tonight.
Just give me one more chance to make it right.
I may not make it through the night.
I won't go home without you.

the weight of things that remain unspoken. built up so much it crushed us everyday.
@ 2:28 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

went for tuition. then went to J8 to pick up photographs(: and of course, i couldnt resist heading to the library to get more books.

i banged my head AGAIN. how i managed to bang my head in the library still amazes me.

found this really cute and sweet book while looking for scrapbooking ideas(:

it's a book filled with pictures and reasons/things that love is. it started when the lady left little "love notes" to express her feelings for a man who she will eventually marry(: She will put them in his jeans, under the pillows, on the car seat and etc. the husband kept everything and got it printed(: sweet~

you can find the web version here. drawn by a different person now i think and some of the pictures are rather political. hmm. i still like the book. it made me smile(:



what is love to you?
@ 4:20 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

SO! i am officially 20 years old *faints*

i am not going to talk much or eat much for the next two days. my braces is giving me this super huge AND painful ulcers. that hurts even when i puff my cheeks up. urgh. hahas.

thanks, people(:
many thanks to degen, eddy, saran, elaine, jie en, cynthia, weijie, san, rebecca, bernice (she sms-ed all the way from NEPAL!), min min (didn't expect her to remember!), scotchey, jiawen and qihong (cousins!), renuka (she remembered too!), mabel, kelvin, bestie, kar leng, juan, sampat king, ling (she msged me right after she came back from overseas, i think), sivan, scott (US friend!), soon heng, winston, lisa (didn't expect her to remember too!), the evil-looking elmo (again:), yiling, kexin and daniel (from 4/10).

and special thanks to JOSHUA! for calling but i didnt pick up. the only junior who remembered(: aww~ he should! after all the bullying i endured. hahas.

whee~ lots of people! most are from secondary school(: a few from primary school (: and some from ntu(: yeah-ness!

birthday celebration one - at mind cafe w/ SPP(:
it's a FULL gathering! all five of us were there! omg. the last time we had a full gathering was back in March during sivan's birthday. had fun playing 3 board games. sorry, express it- guess it and snorta(: had plenty of laughs.

as usual, when you put san and me together, we are the gigglers. when she starts laughing, i start and so the giggles continue. sivan semi-cheated in the first game. and all of us didnt know until she completed the game! hahas. snorta is just really confusing. i keep baa-ing when i am suppose to be hee-haw-ing. identity crisis.

i love my SPP! even though we dont meet up often!

more pictures at my multiply account(:

birthday celebration 2 - at marina square with bestie (:
bestie was late! but that's expected so i was prepared! read in bishan library while i waited for her.

she bought me a cake! i had to lug it around while we went to marina square. got lost there while looking for waraku @ pasta cafe (or something like that)! we walked around the place TWICE. our legs almost died. hahas. thank goodness i wore sensible shoes this time.

we had amazingly HUGE plate of pasta. decided to skip dessert because both of us were freezing! headed back to town ESPECIALLY to take neoprints! shared an umbrella while we walked to cine(: had fun!

no scanner so i had to use my digi-cam(:

semi-birthday celebration 3 - at home w/ the family(:
as the clock strikes 12, my brother and sister burst into my room and yelled, "happy birthday!" each brandishing a present! my brother actually took time away from maple story! *sarcastic* i am so touched! lols(:

one of the gift was meant for my sister's friend! she even told me when she bought it. but because my brother had to be holding something when they barge into my room, she decided to give it to me. and i asked, "eh? thats for your friend de right?" and everyone laughed.

i got a really nice notebook from the paper people (you know, the one selling at topshop) , a "fake" roxy shorts and a towel shaped as a cake.

didnt take any pictures with my siblings cause we were all in our baggy shirts and shorts, all ready for bed. so the present will have to do the talking!


(the pictures are HDTV quality! i just realised my camera can do that. wow! but there's no difference eh.)

my dad helped me draw my curtains so i could sleep in in the morning (just because it's my birthday!) and my mum cooked noodles and 2 mini-sized red egg for lunch.


birthday celebration 4 - at J8 w/ Jie En
she rushed down after her exams to meet me for dinner. as i was too lazy to travel, we had dinner at swensen at J8. her treat! thanks, woman!

there's this little boy sitting next to our table. he keeps sliding over to me and grinning at me in a silly way. me? i made silly faces back(:

we caught up and then walked around. i really like the snow globes from precious tots! so cute! but they are expensive:( i want a snowglobe for christmas! hahas.

didnt take any pictures though. but it was fun(:

and i saw this really cute baby who kept looking at me in the lift!

pressies galore?
joey (supervisor) bought me an espirit pencil case! gosh! didnt expect her to. she went for her break then when she came back, she was holding a bag. so i asked her, "what did you buy?" and she went, "nothing lahs" and quickly stuffed the bag into the storeroom. when i was going for my break, she told me that it was for me(:

here's a picture of the pencil case and the hongbaos my grams and parents gave me(:

and then there's the cake bestie bought! it's really nice! the packaging is nicer than the cake though. hahas. BUT! the thought matters most!

see! the box opens up to look like an angel!! but the cake is tiny~ hahas(:

minor reflections - Part One?
this past year was much better than the last. as ber so nicely put it when we met up last month, " you look much happier than last year." there's more laughters (especially in semester 2) but there's more emo moments too. no tears though.

made new friends? not really. got to know some of my tutorial group mates better. espcially yiling and joanne(: of course, i acquired a family, the heart2heart family. maybe i am not really close to them, but it was nice knowing them(:

i got to know my eye-candies from 2 semester ago? kind of. one turned out to be a vase albeit a smart one. the other? okay lah. cockroach man! hahas. AND! let me reiterate this point. my eye-candies are just that. candy for the eye. nothing else. i am not like normal girls who FANTASIZE about theirs. nah-ah. and once i know my eye-candies, they stopped being eye-candies. full stop.

anyways, i stopped having eye-candies. i mean, it's pointless! good-looking? so? hahas. opps.

i realised i no longer believed in "..happily ever after.." and started to want to believe that "..friends are forever.." which is kind of screwed up. because it used to be the opposite. and it kind of made things harder. i started to expect more from my friends.

i realised that guys and girls cannot be close friends. not because one is bound to fall for the other. but because of what others might say. when they see a guy and girl going out together more than once, rumors fly. and that damages a friendship because they will drift apart so as not to let others and the other party get the wrong impression. it sucks. just some observation.

my walls are building up again. higher and stronger this time. my skepticism is back with a vengence. but i am ok! (:

okok, i better head off to bed. tuition tomorrow!

my wish? that i can be happy and smiling everyday(: will you do that for me?

@ 12:39 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

@ 2:32 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

bestie went to clarke quay to get a cake for me before meeting me. so she was late for an hour plus -.- but! the cake was pretty(: very small. but nice! the box too. pictures later.

bestie and i are NEOPRINT BUDDIES!! we spent $10 each to take neoprints(: it's so nice when she can read jap.whee~ had fun! now i need someone with a scanner! and she found out why we are besties. because we like to stuff our change/coins/money everywhere-.-

i finished "My Best Friend's Girl" while waiting. EXCELLENT(: hit too close to home though. as in the main character is rather like me. hmm.

still no dates tomorrow. but i got my craft tools ready. so maybe, i will do craft? *shrugs* i can have fun at home with my crayons and color pencils(:

make me smile, okay?
@ 8:02 PM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

birthday gathering with SPP today was fun(: pictures next time. girls? it's already in your email.

meeting bestie for lunch tomorrow(: dance with the girls on wednesday. i think.

so....meeting up with people before and after my birthday. but not ON the day itself. the girls offered. thats sweet. but it's okay! especially i am meeting you guys on wednesday again and sivan has school till 10pm.

i'll most probably be rotting at home. sleeping in and everything. watching tv and letting myself go round and round in my head.

now i wish i am working on my birthday:(

smile smile smile. make me! determine to make this the best week of the month. *determined* but how to? when i am emo-ing on the 1st day already:((

@ 1:13 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

while brushing teeth.
i was thinking how one of my friend is actually using me as an excuse to meet up with any of my friend. if you like her, go after her. ask her out. dont use me as an excuse.

then i caught myself. this skepticism has to stop. i have to stop thinking that everyone out there is just using me. that people are being nice to me not because they sincerely want to. but because they think that i may be of use to them in the future.

maybe they really are using. but what if they are not? benefit of the doubt, right?

someone teach me how to stop. please. i am so tired of second-guessing, of building up a higher wall.

a little disclaimer. if my brother turns gay.
even though the probability of that happening is 0.07%, i still have to say it.

if he turns gay or girlish, it's not my fault!

yes, i might have bombarded him with one too many episodes of ANTM, but it's not my fault ok?! hahas.

and i am NOT the one who encouraged him to play maple.

make me smile, wont you? even if just for awhile.

@ 3:15 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.

kokology daily(:
on a break today. back tomorrow(:

about heroes.
if sylar killed charlie (the girl with the super memory), why cant he remember "The List"? hmms.

it's kind of sad that season 2 had to stop early because of the WGA strike. is it still on? *scratch head*

miscellaneous.
i think there's a mosquito in my room. it bit me on my face! urgh. of all places! not to mention i am popping way too many pimples these days for them to be normal. my sister and i came to a conclusion. we need new make-up removal. hahahs. FANCL, here we come! *waves bye to moolahs*

oh right. thanks, kelvin! for listening to me rant just now. i almost screamed out in my room just now. i just couldnt take it anymore. i sent out sms with just, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" and the reply got me distracted from whatever that is bugging me. *phew*

and my bestie knows it's no use hiding stuff from me. but well, it doesnt stop her from trying. she KNOWS i know. *shrugs* on the other hand, the OTHER bestie knows me too well that she is SHAMELESSLY using me to plan our birthday gathering to the point whereby, she doesnt even know what time we are meeting tomorrow. GREAT! she better don't mention that she has to leave early. if not, it's "HELLO! BLACK FACE SHAN!" i'm serious.

tyra banks has a nice way of describing things. she "compartmentalize" her emotions. basically, she packs her feelings away after venting it out. that's kind of how i work too. hmm. i am rooting for chantal for the finale! actually saleisha is not too bad. she looks like rihanna. bianca can just get lost. hate her ugly personality. *gags*

ok, brush teeth and bed(:

make me smile, wont you? just for the week.

@ 2:38 AM |wished.hoped.waited.dashed.